His some rules for all you writers to follow...

Nickatilynx · 08-02-2005

1. Avoid alliteration. Always. 2. Never use a long word when a diminutive one will do.

3. Employ the vernacular.

4. Eschew ampersands & abbreviations, etc.

5. Parenthetical remarks (however relevant) are unnecessary.

6. Remember to never split an infinitive.

7. Contractions aren't necessary.

8. Foreign words and phrases are not apropos.

9. One should never generalize.

10. Eliminate quotations. As Ralph Waldo Emerson said, "I hate quotations. Tell me what you know."

11. Comparisons are as bad as cliches.

12. Don't be redundant; don't use more words than necessary; it's highly superfluous.

13. Be more or less specific.

14. Understatement is always best.

15. One-word sentences? Eliminate.

16. Analogies in writing are like feathers on a snake.

17. The passive voice is to be avoided.

18. Go around the barn at high noon to avoid colloquialisms.

19. Even if a mixed metaphor sings, it should be derailed.

20. Who needs rhetorical questions?

21. Exaggeration is a billion times worse than understatement.

22. Don't never use a double negation.

23. capitalize every sentence and remember always end it with point

24. Do not put statements in the negative form.

25. Verbs have to agree with their subjects.

26. Proofread carefully to see if you words out.

27. If you reread your work, you can find on rereading a great deal of repetition can be avoided by rereading and editing.

28. A writer must not shift your point of view.

29. And don't start a sentence with a conjunction. (Remember, too, a preposition is a terrible word to end a sentence with.)

30. Don't overuse exclamation marks!!

31. Place pronouns as close as possible, especially in long sentences, as of 10 or more words, to the irantecedents.

32. Writing carefully, dangling participles must be avoided.

33. If any word is improper at the end of a sentence, a linking verb is.

34. Take the bull by the hand and avoid mixing metaphors.

35. Avoid trendy locutions that sound flaky.

36. Everyone should be careful to use a singular pronoun with singular nouns in their writing.

37. Always pick on the correct idiom.

38. The adverb always follows the verb.

39. Last but not least, avoid cliches like the plague; they're old hat; seek viable alternatives.

sarettah · 08-02-2005

lololol....

Took a couple of minutes, but I got it

MorganGrayson · 08-02-2005

The repetition of initial *consonants* is "alliteration."

The repetition of initial *vowels* is "assonance."

"A" is a vowel. Therefore....

You're *so* lucky that was funny!

(You drive me crazy!!!!!)

sarettah · 08-02-2005

Quote:

Originally Posted by MorganGrayson

The repetition of initial *consonants* is "alliteration."

The repetition of initial *vowels* is "assonance."

"A" is a vowel. Therefore....

You're *so* lucky that was funny!

(You drive me crazy!!!!!)

My Morgan, you must make more meaningful mentions matching this more often.

gigi · 08-02-2005

LOLOL

too funny!

Nickatilynx · 08-03-2005

Quote:

Originally Posted by MorganGrayson

The repetition of initial *consonants* is "alliteration."

The repetition of initial *vowels* is "assonance."

"A" is a vowel. Therefore....

You're *so* lucky that was funny!

(You drive me crazy!!!!!)

You are so anal It must be annoying when your sofa cushions shoot up your ass...

;-)))

gonzo · 08-03-2005

Quote:

Originally Posted by Nickatilynx

You are so anal It must be annoying when your sofa cushions shoot up your ass...

;-)))

I used to fart in Dennis Hayes boardroom in those big fat executive chairs. They can soak up so much gas.... that the next person gets the stench like it was fresh. Too bad back then there wasnt mutton or Sun Chips on the menu.

Dennis would have been proud.

Newton · 08-03-2005

Lisa · 08-03-2005

His some rules for all you writers to follow...

I can't believe no one is bothered by 'Here is' (which incidentally should have been 'Here are', as per #36) being contracted to 'His'!

Red · 08-03-2005

Quote:

Originally Posted by Lisa

His some rules for all you writers to follow...

I can't believe no one is bothered by 'Here is' (which incidentally should have been 'Here are', as per #36) being contracted to 'His'!

That was the first thing to catch my attention.

Nickatilynx · 08-03-2005

Lisa , Red....

Well I'm simply flabbergasted!!!

Never in fact has my flabber been so gasted!!!

Pedantic? Anal retentive?

I bet all three of you fret over whether anal retentive is spelt with a hyphen!!!

;-)))

sarettah · 08-03-2005

Quote:

Originally Posted by Lisa

His some rules for all you writers to follow...

I can't believe no one is bothered by 'Here is' (which incidentally should have been 'Here are', as per #36) being contracted to 'His'!

I thought he was just being dialectic.

MorganGrayson · 08-03-2005

Quote:

Originally Posted by sarettah

My Morgan, you must make more meaningful mentions matching this more often.

Now *that* is alliteration...among other things.

Quote:

Originally Posted by [b

Nickatilynx[/b]]
You are so anal It must be annoying when your sofa cushions shoot up your ass...

;-)))

Gotcha! You first used that line on me five years ago!!!!

Nickatilynx · 08-03-2005

I recycle them every 4 yrs.

and I stick with what works.. ;-)))

PornoDoggy · 08-03-2005

Quote:

Originally Posted by Red

That was the first thing to catch my attention.

Mine too.

readin sumthin like dat makes me preciate eecummings

fuck the rules!!!!

MorganGrayson · 08-03-2005

Quote:

Originally Posted by Nickatilynx

I recycle them every 4 yrs.

and I stick with what works.. ;-)))

OK.

Points to you.

08-02-2005	#1
Nickatilynx Banned Want to see your own Advertising Here! Join Date: Oct 2002 Location: Vancouver Canada Posts: 15,115	His some rules for all you writers to follow... 1. Avoid alliteration. Always. 2. Never use a long word when a diminutive one will do. 3. Employ the vernacular. 4. Eschew ampersands & abbreviations, etc. 5. Parenthetical remarks (however relevant) are unnecessary. 6. Remember to never split an infinitive. 7. Contractions aren't necessary. 8. Foreign words and phrases are not apropos. 9. One should never generalize. 10. Eliminate quotations. As Ralph Waldo Emerson said, "I hate quotations. Tell me what you know." 11. Comparisons are as bad as cliches. 12. Don't be redundant; don't use more words than necessary; it's highly superfluous. 13. Be more or less specific. 14. Understatement is always best. 15. One-word sentences? Eliminate. 16. Analogies in writing are like feathers on a snake. 17. The passive voice is to be avoided. 18. Go around the barn at high noon to avoid colloquialisms. 19. Even if a mixed metaphor sings, it should be derailed. 20. Who needs rhetorical questions? 21. Exaggeration is a billion times worse than understatement. 22. Don't never use a double negation. 23. capitalize every sentence and remember always end it with point 24. Do not put statements in the negative form. 25. Verbs have to agree with their subjects. 26. Proofread carefully to see if you words out. 27. If you reread your work, you can find on rereading a great deal of repetition can be avoided by rereading and editing. 28. A writer must not shift your point of view. 29. And don't start a sentence with a conjunction. (Remember, too, a preposition is a terrible word to end a sentence with.) 30. Don't overuse exclamation marks!! 31. Place pronouns as close as possible, especially in long sentences, as of 10 or more words, to the irantecedents. 32. Writing carefully, dangling participles must be avoided. 33. If any word is improper at the end of a sentence, a linking verb is. 34. Take the bull by the hand and avoid mixing metaphors. 35. Avoid trendy locutions that sound flaky. 36. Everyone should be careful to use a singular pronoun with singular nouns in their writing. 37. Always pick on the correct idiom. 38. The adverb always follows the verb. 39. Last but not least, avoid cliches like the plague; they're old hat; seek viable alternatives.

08-02-2005	#2
sarettah Stay Out Of The Box Want to see your own Advertising Here! Join Date: Oct 2002 Location: Lost in the ozone Posts: 10,318	Re: His some rules for all you writers to follow... lololol.... Took a couple of minutes, but I got it __________________ Free Adult Webcams

08-02-2005	#5
gigi on prozac - be gentle Join Date: Oct 2002 Location: Canada, eh! Posts: 1,069	Re: His some rules for all you writers to follow... LOLOL too funny! __________________ A bit of fragrance always clings to the hand that gives the rose mail me

08-03-2005	#8
Newton It's always business, never personal! The POWER of radio Oprano Radio Join Date: Aug 2004 Location: On a golf course Posts: 4,916	Re: His some rules for all you writers to follow... __________________ Poser Bush in a mix-up over his hi-tech gizmo - ICLOD

08-03-2005	#9
Lisa Happiness is an anagram of penis pash... Join Date: Oct 2002 Location: Brisbane Posts: 879	Re: His some rules for all you writers to follow... His some rules for all you writers to follow... I can't believe no one is bothered by 'Here is' (which incidentally should have been 'Here are', as per #36) being contracted to 'His'!

08-02-2005	#3
MorganGrayson None $100 for every ImLive sign-up Join Date: Apr 2004 Posts: 4,321	Re: His some rules for all you writers to follow... The repetition of initial consonants is "alliteration." The repetition of initial vowels is "assonance." "A" is a vowel. Therefore.... You're so lucky that was funny! (You drive me crazy!!!!!)