Oprano Adult Industry Forums - His some rules for all you writers to follow...

Oprano Adult Industry Forums (http://www.oprano.com/msgboard/index.php)

- Legacy Archived Main Board (http://www.oprano.com/msgboard/forumdisplay.php?f=25)

- - His some rules for all you writers to follow... (http://www.oprano.com/msgboard/showthread.php?t=42290)

His some rules for all you writers to follow...

1. Avoid alliteration. Always. 2. Never use a long word when a diminutive one will do.

3. Employ the vernacular.

4. Eschew ampersands & abbreviations, etc.

5. Parenthetical remarks (however relevant) are unnecessary.

6. Remember to never split an infinitive.

7. Contractions aren't necessary.

8. Foreign words and phrases are not apropos.

9. One should never generalize.

10. Eliminate quotations. As Ralph Waldo Emerson said, "I hate quotations. Tell me what you know."

11. Comparisons are as bad as cliches.

12. Don't be redundant; don't use more words than necessary; it's highly superfluous.

13. Be more or less specific.

14. Understatement is always best.

15. One-word sentences? Eliminate.

16. Analogies in writing are like feathers on a snake.

17. The passive voice is to be avoided.

18. Go around the barn at high noon to avoid colloquialisms.

19. Even if a mixed metaphor sings, it should be derailed.

20. Who needs rhetorical questions?

21. Exaggeration is a billion times worse than understatement.

22. Don't never use a double negation.

23. capitalize every sentence and remember always end it with point

24. Do not put statements in the negative form.

25. Verbs have to agree with their subjects.

26. Proofread carefully to see if you words out.

27. If you reread your work, you can find on rereading a great deal of repetition can be avoided by rereading and editing.

28. A writer must not shift your point of view.

29. And don't start a sentence with a conjunction. (Remember, too, a preposition is a terrible word to end a sentence with.)

30. Don't overuse exclamation marks!!

31. Place pronouns as close as possible, especially in long sentences, as of 10 or more words, to the irantecedents.

32. Writing carefully, dangling participles must be avoided.

33. If any word is improper at the end of a sentence, a linking verb is.

34. Take the bull by the hand and avoid mixing metaphors.

35. Avoid trendy locutions that sound flaky.

36. Everyone should be careful to use a singular pronoun with singular nouns in their writing.

37. Always pick on the correct idiom.

38. The adverb always follows the verb.

39. Last but not least, avoid cliches like the plague; they're old hat; seek viable alternatives.

Re: His some rules for all you writers to follow...

lololol....

Took a couple of minutes, but I got it :okthumb:

Re: His some rules for all you writers to follow...

The repetition of initial *consonants* is "alliteration."

The repetition of initial *vowels* is "assonance."

"A" is a vowel. Therefore....

You're *so* lucky that was funny! :lol:

(You drive me crazy!!!!!) :D

Re: His some rules for all you writers to follow...

Quote:

Originally Posted by MorganGrayson

My Morgan, you must make more meaningful mentions matching this more often. :blink:

Re: His some rules for all you writers to follow...

Quote:

Originally Posted by MorganGrayson

The repetition of initial *consonants* is "alliteration."

The repetition of initial *vowels* is "assonance."

"A" is a vowel. Therefore....

You're *so* lucky that was funny! http://oprano.com/msgboard/images/smilies/laugh.gif

(You drive me crazy!!!!!) http://oprano.com/msgboard/images/smilies/biggrin.gif

You are so anal It must be annoying when your sofa cushions shoot up your ass...

;-)))

Re: His some rules for all you writers to follow...

Quote:

Originally Posted by Nickatilynx

You are so anal It must be annoying when your sofa cushions shoot up your ass...

;-)))

I used to fart in Dennis Hayes boardroom in those big fat executive chairs. They can soak up so much gas.... that the next person gets the stench like it was fresh. Too bad back then there wasnt mutton or Sun Chips on the menu.

Dennis would have been proud.

Re: His some rules for all you writers to follow...

His some rules for all you writers to follow...

I can't believe no one is bothered by 'Here is' (which incidentally should have been 'Here are', as per #36) being contracted to 'His'! :p

Re: His some rules for all you writers to follow...

Quote:

Originally Posted by Lisa

His some rules for all you writers to follow...

I can't believe no one is bothered by 'Here is' (which incidentally should have been 'Here are', as per #36) being contracted to 'His'! :p

That was the first thing to catch my attention. :D

Re: His some rules for all you writers to follow...

Lisa , Red....

Well I'm simply flabbergasted!!!

Never in fact has my flabber been so gasted!!!

Pedantic? Anal retentive?

I bet all three of you fret over whether anal retentive is spelt with a hyphen!!!

;-)))

Re: His some rules for all you writers to follow...

Quote:

Originally Posted by Lisa

His some rules for all you writers to follow...

I can't believe no one is bothered by 'Here is' (which incidentally should have been 'Here are', as per #36) being contracted to 'His'! :p

I thought he was just being dialectic. :blink:

Re: His some rules for all you writers to follow...

Quote:

Originally Posted by sarettah

My Morgan, you must make more meaningful mentions matching this more often. :blink:

Now *that* is alliteration...among other things. :)

Quote:

Originally Posted by [b

Nickatilynx[/b]]
You are so anal It must be annoying when your sofa cushions shoot up your ass...

;-)))

Gotcha! You first used that line on me five years ago!!!! :nyanya:

Re: His some rules for all you writers to follow...

I recycle them every 4 yrs. :)

and I stick with what works.. ;-)))

Re: His some rules for all you writers to follow...

Quote:

Originally Posted by Red

That was the first thing to catch my attention. :D

Mine too.

readin sumthin like dat makes me preciate eecummings

fuck the rules!!!!

Re: His some rules for all you writers to follow...

Quote:

Originally Posted by Nickatilynx

I recycle them every 4 yrs. :)

and I stick with what works.. ;-)))

OK.

Points to you. :)

:box2: