Hacking Bert

[Hell Puppy]

The FFN's took an impromptu breakfast outing to the Catlady Waffle House. No sign of the catlady, but we did see one of the cats. We tried to offer it some holiday cheer, but like many this season, the cat aint having it.

While enjoying a tasty bowl of Berts Chili, it occurred to us that we should use our alledged hacking ability to procure the recipe. There's risk involved, and I'm not sure whether the greater risk is from Waffle House Corp or our neighbors. But we decided to risk it.

So first off GonZo tries to do some social engineering of the waitress. Unfortunately, she is barely capable of figuring out the difference between sausage and bacon.

Thus we had to hack our way into Waffle. Last time I had used Waffle it was only to rip off the uucico interface to work with Crazy Ed Hoppers stuff and holonet. This Waffle-net uses VPN. The recipe was scattered smothered and covered, but we quickly found that the encryption was not a typical 128 bit hash like MD5 but a proprietary Waffle House system that was a 192 bit hashbrown.

We did succeed in grabbing the recipe. Hit me up if anyone wants it. I will share that the secret is the addition of Jimmy Dean sausage.

[softball]

Originally Posted by Hell Puppy

The FFN's took an impromptu breakfast outing to the Catlady Waffle House. No sign of the catlady, but we did see one of the cats. We tried to offer it some holiday cheer, but like many this season, the cat aint having it.

While enjoying a tasty bowl of Berts Chili, it occurred to us that we should use our alledged hacking ability to procure the recipe. There's risk involved, and I'm not sure whether the greater risk is from Waffle House Corp or our neighbors. But we decided to risk it.

So first off GonZo tries to do some social engineering of the waitress. Unfortunately, she is barely capable of figuring out the difference between sausage and bacon.

Thus we had to hack our way into Waffle. Last time I had used Waffle it was only to rip off the uucico interface to work with Crazy Ed Hoppers stuff and holonet. This Waffle-net uses VPN. The recipe was scattered smothered and covered, but we quickly found that the encryption was not a typical 128 bit hash like MD5 but a proprietary Waffle House system that was a 192 bit hashbrown.

We did succeed in grabbing the recipe. Hit me up if anyone wants it. I will share that the secret is the addition of Jimmy Dean sausage.

So, having never heard of Bert's Chili, is it to die for or just a guilty pleasure?

[gonzo]

Originally Posted by rhetorical

So, having never heard of Bert's Chili, is it to die for or just a guilty pleasure?

Oh youd die from it.

Its a pleasure that keeps giving.
First you eat it.
Then you get acid reflux.
Then you smell it for the next few days.

[softball]

Originally Posted by gonzo

Oh youd die from it.

Its a pleasure that keeps giving.
First you eat it.
Then you get acid reflux.
Then you smell it for the next few days.

So I take it that is a reccomendation. Two thumbs up from the Atlanta judges?

[gonzo]

Originally Posted by rhetorical

So I take it that is a reccomendation. Two thumbs up from the Atlanta judges?

Highly recommended. Probably doesnt suit the refined tastes of some of the players lurking in these parts but it beats a box of velveeta mac and cheese after a rousing session of searching the couch matress for spare change or picking up aluminum cans.

[softball]

BERT'S CHILI

1 pound lean hamburger
1/4 pound breakfast sausage (jimmy dean brand)
2 cups chopped yellow onion
2 (15-ounce) cans chili beans (not drained)
1 can (15 ounces) tomato sauce
2 cubes beef bouillon (or 2 tablespoons beef bouillon granules)
1 teaspoon salt
1 teaspoon chili powder
3/4 teaspoon ground cumin
1/4 teaspoon black pepper
1/4 teaspoon sugar
1/8 teaspoon garlic powder
1/8 teaspoon ground oregano

Brown hamburger, sausage and onions together in 6-quart saucepan.

Add pinto beans (not drained), add can of tomato sauce and add enough water to rinse can. Add beef bouillon granules. If using beef bouillon cubes, dissolve in 1/4 cup water then add to the pan. Add salt, chili powder, cumin, black pepper, sugar, garlic powder, and ground oregano. Blend thoroughly.

Bring to boil, reduce heat and simmer for 15 minutes. Serve.

Is this it? I used all my computing power, called in a few favours and paid a large amount of cash to "Death to Profit" hackers inc. and this is what I managed to get through totally nefarious means. It was hard but looks like it could be worth a pot full. I would leave out the beans, though.

[gonzo]

Originally Posted by rhetorical

BERT'S CHILI

1 pound lean hamburger
1/4 pound breakfast sausage (jimmy dean brand)
2 cups chopped yellow onion
2 (15-ounce) cans chili beans (not drained)
1 can (15 ounces) tomato sauce
2 cubes beef bouillon (or 2 tablespoons beef bouillon granules)
1 teaspoon salt
1 teaspoon chili powder
3/4 teaspoon ground cumin
1/4 teaspoon black pepper
1/4 teaspoon sugar
1/8 teaspoon garlic powder
1/8 teaspoon ground oregano

Brown hamburger, sausage and onions together in 6-quart saucepan.

Add pinto beans (not drained), add can of tomato sauce and add enough water to rinse can. Add beef bouillon granules. If using beef bouillon cubes, dissolve in 1/4 cup water then add to the pan. Add salt, chili powder, cumin, black pepper, sugar, garlic powder, and ground oregano. Blend thoroughly.

Bring to boil, reduce heat and simmer for 15 minutes. Serve.

Is this it? I used all my computing power, called in a few favours and paid a large amount of cash to "Death to Profit" hackers inc. and this is what I managed to get through totally nefarious means. It was hard but looks like it could be worth a pot full. I would leave out the beans, though.

YOU CRACKED THE HASHBROWN!!!

[Hell Puppy]

Originally Posted by gonzo

YOU CRACKED THE HASHBROWN!!!

Yup, that's the real deal.

The Jimmy Dean Sausage is the tell.

[Hell Puppy]

Originally Posted by rhetorical

So I take it that is a reccomendation. Two thumbs up from the Atlanta judges?

If you've never experienced a Waffle House, by all means let us know if you're in our part of the country, we'll introduce you to it.

Berts Chili is but one of the delicacies. As you can see from the recipe, not only is it tasty, but it's something you can share with the entire family.

The neighbors dog runs and hides under the porch when I turn in the driveway and he smells waffle house on my tires.

[gonzo]

NOTE TO ALL THAT ARE OVERMEDICATED OR STUPID

...this message is satire. Please dont go paypalling Waffle House $200 to increase security measures.

[Toby]

Originally Posted by Hell Puppy

If you've never experienced a Waffle House, by all means let us know if you're in our part of the country, we'll introduce you to it.

There are a few Waffle House locations scattered about the Houston area, but I've never been brave enough to actually go into one. My cholesterol count spikes just driving by one of these monuments to grease.

[gonzo]

Originally Posted by Toby

There are a few Waffle House locations scattered about the Houston area, but I've never been brave enough to actually go into one. My cholesterol count spikes just driving by one of these monuments to grease.

Delicious Pie

[Hell Puppy]

Originally Posted by Toby

There are a few Waffle House locations scattered about the Houston area, but I've never been brave enough to actually go into one. My cholesterol count spikes just driving by one of these monuments to grease.

Oh, I dont do it as often as I'd like for that reason.

They should offer lipitor as a side dish.

[bluemoney]

I used to frequent a local WH that had a grill man with about 20 years experience and that “sum bitch” could cook! Love those hash browns scattered, smothered, covered and sprinkled with Tobasco.

[Hell Puppy]

Originally Posted by bluemoney

I used to frequent a local WH that had a grill man with about 20 years experience and that “sum bitch” could cook! Love those hash browns scattered, smothered, covered and sprinkled with Tobasco.

You can meet some colorful folks working at Waffle House...especially the ones who've made a career of it.

I used to frequent one around the corner from a place I was living, and it had a cook who wanted to talk. Dude was probably 55 years old or so. I dont think he changed his shirt or apron more than once a week.

One night he says "you know i've been a short order cook for 30 years, you wanna know why?" Being his huckleberry, i said "why's that?". He says, "cuz i like to fuck waitresses!" and turns around and smacks the skanky looking one that was passing by right on the ass.

[bluemoney]

Originally Posted by Hell Puppy

You can meet some colorful folks working at Waffle House...especially the ones who've made a career of it.

I used to frequent one around the corner from a place I was living, and it had a cook who wanted to talk. Dude was probably 55 years old or so. I dont think he changed his shirt or apron more than once a week.

One night he says "you know i've been a short order cook for 30 years, you wanna know why?" Being his huckleberry, i said "why's that?". He says, "cuz i like to fuck waitresses!" and turns around and smacks the skanky looking one that was passing by right on the ass.

LOL Yep! Sounds like a Waffle House to me!