Paying your kids for good grades

[Almighty Colin]

What do you think about paying your kids for good grades?

[Sharpie]

When they are young, they often don't understand the importance of education and good grades. Mine got bored with school sometimes. I offered incentatives such as priviledges, events, and sometimes money.

As they got older and understood the importance of good grades, they found their own incentatives & I no longer needed to offer them. It was sort of expected that they make the honor roll, anything above that was their own pride.

[grimm]

Originally posted by Colin@Nov 23 2004, 05:33 AM
What do you think about paying your kids for good grades?

i always got 6 bucks an A. plus a reds game if i got straight A's

[grimm]

yeah as i got older, money wouldnt inspire me, so it was up to aunt maries hummers that made me strive for excellence

[Jesse_DD]

I think there are positives and negatives of doing this. But, for the most part it models life - People get incentives when they do well in life and so I think this is probably a good lesson to learn early.

I remember my parents offering me a guitar amp if I brought my D to and A and my F to a B (7th grade)... Don't ask why I had a D and an F in 7th grade

[Vick]

No

Children should be expected to get good grades, good grades should some naturally and be motivated by things other than money (like the rest of their fucking lives)

Of course a trip to Disney World never hurts
Look at all the learning you can do there

[Nickatilynx]

I agree with it.

Incentives.

Stright As result in a new lap top , stuff like that.

A D involves a damn good thashing! ;-)))

[Evil Chris]

I agree with incentives like this too. Not necessarily money, but that's ok too.
In my case, if we got bad report cards, my brother and I would be held back from going to hockey games or practices. That hurt a lot and we pulled our socks up.

[Nickatilynx]

Exactly Chris.

I actually said similar to my son Jack last night.

I took away all his video games from him last night. Offence - "getting on your mother's nerves." It can carry the death penalty.

I then explained to him , that he has been given all this nice stuff ,specifically so that it gives me something to take off him when he is bad.

(He grinned and said "thats hellaevil" to which I said "Son its what I do" )

;-)))

Hmmm no wonder my wife says I suck at disciplinary matters , she says too much humour involved.


;-)))

[kath]

We don't pay for good grades - we just never have. Then again, my kids are homeschooled so we don't DO grades throughout the year, only on the final exams.

But we DO reward/punish based upon performance - so I agree with the incentive ideas everyone else has posted.

Upon advanced completion of a subject - for example, my son will be completing Algebra II next week, nearly a full semester before he was expected to - if he gets an A on his final exam he will get a reward. The reward varies - sometimes it has been a pre-paid card for paintball, new gear for his fire Explorer program (that stuff gets expensive) or concert tickets. This time he wants a new PS2 game - fortunately the big sales are hitting for the holidays, so the timing on this was good. lol

HOWEVER... for LAZY work and completion after the expected/scheduled goal date, the kids lose things.... priviledges, use of game systems, TV, etc. - whatever seems to fit the crime. My daughter dragged her feet on Science last year and finished the book - and still only getting a C on her final - about 3 weeks after the end of the school year. She lost TV, PS2 and phone priviledges as she completed the subject and for an extra month afterwards. The reason? Those were the distractions that kept her from completing her work in the first place.

[slavdogg]

i dont think it would have helped me
school was borring
making money, smoking weed was funner

[pushpills]

I think it's a good idea.

It's already been said, but, when kids are younger, they want to play all the time and don't really get that good grades will help them later in life.


Does not matter what you do to make your kids get good grades, whoopins or gifts, as long as they learn the material.

[slavdogg]

what value of money does it teach kids to get $5 for every good grade ?

[SykkBoy]

I give my kids incentives as well.
Not always money, but generally more or less priveledges.

I also reward on improvements.
Example: my daughter was having a horrid time with spelling, but instead of trying to guess at the word if she didn't know it, she left it blank, so it was harder to determine where she was having the problems. So we got her to start guessing and it helped her get a 100 on her spelling test and she got to stay up later and got to choose desert for dinner (this is a huge incentive in our house, being a decision maker for a day). Well, it encouraged her to guess and she found when she guessed, she often got most of the words right she thought she didn't know. Thus was born the improvement incentive and her grades in all subjects started to rise. She was suddenly interested in school again and studied harder as she wasn't just given a reward for grades, but improved grades. It helped her focus more where she was having problems.

My son's selective mutism can sometimes hinder his reading comprehension in class, but we've found workaround and with the improved grade incentive, he started concentrating more on his studying and grades (he also spoke his first ever word in a school setting, so this may well help ease his anxieties as well).

We also added negative incentives to balance out any discipline situations in school and a decline in grades as well. The kids have learned school is their job and they are awarded for going above and beyond on their jobs (the improved grades rather than just the "status quo" of the steady grades)

[Almighty Colin]

Well, I asked this morning because I knew my daughter was getting her report card today. She got her best report card ever. She says though that it was because of "block scheduling" - a schedule that leads to longer classes - and not because of extra motivation due to my incentives.

[XXXPhoto]

My girls came to me asking if they could get money for their grades and I made them the same deal my dad offered me... Said would give $5 for every A they brought home but they owed me $20 for each non-A... neither took the deal... Glad the oldest didn't, she brought home straight As last week... lol

[Playful Melissa]

spin it this way -

You have a job - you do a good job you get paid

Don't you think its a good lesson to start with school, isn't school the preliminary to a job?


Just my 2 cents

BTW Mine came home with A's and B's after a year of C's and D's - shopping was definitely a motivator.

[Dianna Vesta]

Whatever it takes to motivate them consistantly. That's a tough task. Bribes, money, threats, whatever. I'm the mommy from hell. I'll do whatever it takes.

[sarettah]

I smtructure school like it's a job. They get an allowance each week. That allowance is earned by #1 school stuf, #2 chores, #3 behaviour, and they have that explained to them.

If they are not doing good in an area then the allowance gets lowered (like a paycut) until they get their shit together and start peroforming. If they perform excellently they get a bonus at report card time.

They get a raise each year at birthday time along with an increase in responsibility and an increase in privileges.

I try to make it as much like a regular job as possible because nothing I ever learned in school ever prepared me for dealing with getting a job and performing at a consistent level on a regular basis.

Still don't know how to get them to realize that they don't get summers off in the real wordl...lol... That one is always the shocker

[Nickatilynx]

My kids are spoilt...

(actually one of my relatives is very versed in matters of child developement and she says "Bullshit , you can't " )

My 11 yrold daughter gets $200 a mth clothes allowance.

She is very responsible though with the management of it and its encouraged her to look after her clothes etc.She tends to know where to buy the best and where cheap and cheerful will suffice.

My 10 yr old boy has two dogs sleeping in his bed and would wear a potatoe sack for ease.His only interest is computers and his animals , he also has a snake ,various fish etc.

Making academic achievement the only criteria would be unfair. My daughter was invited to attend a superbrat program at SFU at 6 , but I refused as how can I say this..oh yeah "fuck that shit" ))I passed Oxbridge exams in England at 15 , as did my bro, and..well , thats a rant for another day.

She gets straight As which in itself is impressive as she is taught only in French , and neither her mother or I am fluent.She now is...nearly.

My eldest boy on the other hand is a stright C student.But he fascinates me with how he thinks and how caring of others and such a conciense he has..

well enough of this rant..

Screw the other two... ;-))

One thing I know about kids...

They will all be running us down at college party one day."they were so strict""They weren't strict enough" blah blah blah...

I am sure whatever one choses to do , Colin, it will be the right thing.

Why am I sure?

The thought that was put into it

(embarassingly long post...I''ll mention $$ now)

;-))

[VooMan]

Originally posted by Vick@Nov 23 2004, 10:14 AM

Children should be expected to get good grades, good grades should some naturally and be motivated by things other than money (like the rest of their fucking lives).

Looks like I'm the only one with Vick on this...

My father expected and demanded good grades, period.

My motivation wasn't money for good grades, it was the punishment for not doing well.

Needless to say, I always got good grades. heh...

[Lisa]

You're not the only one Voo. I don't and won't pay my kids for getting good grades. The reward they will get for their good grades is the chance to do anything they want post school. If hard to get into university courses are what they want, it will be offered to them. If an apprenticeship is what they are after, then their grades will put them above the other candidates...assuming they put in the work to get those grades now.

My daughter is a bit of a swot and at 14 is getting teased by the other kids at school who think it's 'nerdish' to do well. To them she says 'think/say what you like, one day you'll be working for ME'.

[DrGuile]

Originally posted by Nickatilynx@Nov 23 2004, 10:49 PM
My kids are spoilt...

My 11 yrold daughter gets $200 a mth clothes allowance.

Man...

she might actually be one of very few people to actually think I had a hard childhood! haahha

Mowing the lawn and all....

Im closer to my childhood still than all you geezers!

[Vick]

Originally posted by DrGuile@Nov 24 2004, 12:16 AM
Im closer to my childhood still than all you geezers!

I may be a geezer but I never left my childhood

Or at least the ability to have that child like sense of awe and wonderment

Hell I'm one of the lost boys (or wild boys if you read the book), even though I may look like Hook

[Dianna Vesta]

I think that paying kid’s money or buying them things for behavior is wrong. When I see spoiled brats who act like idiots knowing that their parents will give them something to make them stop, I loose my mind. If my son threw a tantrum anywhere I jerked his ass up, took him to the car and we sat there until he stopped. I never hit my son until he was 16 and stood up in my face yelling at me & cussing. I don’t allow a grown person to disrespect me that way much less my own child.

When he was 12 I taught him how to do his own laundry. He looked at me like I lost my mind. When he got up one day and had to wear dirty clothes to school he soon realized I was dead serious. After a few months he actually started taking better care of his clothes. Today he’s very articulate with his things.

I was a single mother and during a large part of his life I worked and went to school. Money was tight for us. I made a deal on grades and helping around the house. I explain to him that we were partners in a sense. He had his job, I had mine. He would get paid weekly for doing his job and getting good grades. If he failed to clean his room, bathroom, trash, yard, etc. he did not get allowance that week. Even if it was one thing he didn’t do. When report cards came he was paid for the grades and that money went towards clothes. I always doubled it.

I grew up somewhat poor. My mother worked in a factory and raised 4 kids alone. Since I was an early teen I worked for everything I’ve ever gotten. I watched kids, washed windows and even mowed lawns. I think about how my mother raised us and how things are done today. The difference is that she didn’t have any choices. It was all about survival. I learned this and in my life I had to work my ass off. With this I’ve learned to take risk and to be flexible. I often wonder how I can teach this to my son because they are by far my strongest traits.

If we shelter our kids how will they learn? Even if we create programs to help teach them if you really think about it how will they *really* learn unless they know what’s like to be hungry, do without and struggle?


Happy Thanksgiving!

DV

[grimm]

Originally posted by slavdogg@Nov 23 2004, 10:36 AM
i dont think it would have helped me
school was borring
making money, smoking weed was funner

"Spicoli, what do you think you're doing?"


"Gettin somefood and learnin' about cuba"


LOL

[grimm]

" That's shit. And this: shinola."

"Shit, shinola."

" Son, you're going to be all right."

[Almighty Colin]

I should throw something else out there. My daughter lives more than 1000 miles from me. In the past I've asked her to send me her report cards and asked about her grades and classes and she was always disinterested. Yesterday she called me and very excitedly said, "Dad you owe me $105!" We talked about her two B's and how to get them up to A's. It seems to me that by paying her for grades she realizes how much they matter to me and that has a positive effect too. Telling a child "good job" on the telephone seems to have a more limited effect.

[Turner]

I think some sort of motivation is needed... monetary, activities, whatever. I still have a few years to work out the details though!

[sharky]

fortunately my daughter is only in Pre-k and we don't have to worry about grades yet. With that said, we do bribe her with things she want on occasion. We are trying to get her to put her head underwater in swimming lessons. When she does it, we will go to disney that weekend. We don't yell, we don't spank, we think creatively in our parenting. We have raised a pretty smart and well behaved girl so far.