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Old 12-08-2003   #1
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For people that don’t like long stories, plain and simple, I’ve been in alcohol rehab for the past week so you can quit reading now if you want.

I debated long and hard whether I should post this on a public message board but I think it will be good therapy. I’ve been trying to quit drinking for almost a year. I would quit for a few days then go right back to drinking again. For a long time I’ve been what they call a “functional” alcoholic meaning I could work at a high level during the day and then drink all night. Well, lately that all changed and I got to the point where I would start drinking the moment I woke up and drink until I went to bed. This had horrible results on my productivity, as I wasn’t getting things done very quickly nor very well.

What put me over the top is that one night about 2 weeks ago I decided to go get a pizza at around midnight. The nearest place is about 10 miles away and they don’t deliver to where I live. So completely drunk I hopped in the car and drove in the poring rain to get the pizza. On the way back unbeknownst to me the rain had turned to freezing rain. Well, I went around a bend and spun the car what seemed like 20 times. Somehow I managed not to hit anything and kept the car on the road. So I drove the rest of the way home more carefully and immediately chugged 2 beers when I walked in the door. I proceeded to eat my pizza and drink a bunch more beer.

The next day I woke up face down on the living room floor with a mouthful of pizza. I must have passed out while I was eating although I’m not really sure what happened. Since I had nearly killed myself twice in a few hours I figured it was time to do something. I figured it wouldn’t be so bad, I would take the laptop and get some work done at the same time.

Wrong. No laptops allowed. No cell phones. Basically nothing allowed but clothes, deodorant, toothpaste, and a toothbrush. They actually check your toothpaste to make sure nothing is in it. Believe me this was the most humiliating, humbling, and terrifying experience of my life. I wasn’t thinking very clearly when I gave up my cell phone because all my numbers are programmed into it. I asked my cousin to post on Oprano and PC but he wouldn’t do it because he’s developed a morality complex and what I do. (At least he made my football picks for me.)

Well, this has been a long tale but I wanted to the people I’ve let down that I’m back to work and will be working harder than ever now. This time I’ll be doing it sober as well. I still have a long road ahead but at least I’m not trying to do it alone this time. I think I have the proper motivation now since I desperately need to start making some steady income since I’ve screwed so many things up the past few months.

If you’ve read this far thanks for listening since I deeply appreciate the friends I have here.
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Old 12-08-2003   #2
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Ulfie you did the right thing, and anyone who says otherwise is a total fucking fool and an idiot and not worth your time.

Here's to a better life for you
and more power to ya!!!
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Old 12-08-2003   #3
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Quote:
Originally posted by ulfie@Dec 8 2003, 11:01 AM
For people that don’t like long stories, plain and simple, I’ve been in alcohol rehab for the past week so you can quit reading now if you want.

I debated long and hard whether I should post this on a public message board but I think it will be good therapy. I’ve been trying to quit drinking for almost a year. I would quit for a few days then go right back to drinking again. For a long time I’ve been what they call a “functional” alcoholic meaning I could work at a high level during the day and then drink all night. Well, lately that all changed and I got to the point where I would start drinking the moment I woke up and drink until I went to bed. This had horrible results on my productivity, as I wasn’t getting things done very quickly nor very well.

What put me over the top is that one night about 2 weeks ago I decided to go get a pizza at around midnight. The nearest place is about 10 miles away and they don’t deliver to where I live. So completely drunk I hopped in the car and drove in the poring rain to get the pizza. On the way back unbeknownst to me the rain had turned to freezing rain. Well, I went around a bend and spun the car what seemed like 20 times. Somehow I managed not to hit anything and kept the car on the road. So I drove the rest of the way home more carefully and immediately chugged 2 beers when I walked in the door. I proceeded to eat my pizza and drink a bunch more beer.

The next day I woke up face down on the living room floor with a mouthful of pizza. I must have passed out while I was eating although I’m not really sure what happened. Since I had nearly killed myself twice in a few hours I figured it was time to do something. I figured it wouldn’t be so bad, I would take the laptop and get some work done at the same time.

Wrong. No laptops allowed. No cell phones. Basically nothing allowed but clothes, deodorant, toothpaste, and a toothbrush. They actually check your toothpaste to make sure nothing is in it. Believe me this was the most humiliating, humbling, and terrifying experience of my life. I wasn’t thinking very clearly when I gave up my cell phone because all my numbers are programmed into it. I asked my cousin to post on Oprano and PC but he wouldn’t do it because he’s developed a morality complex and what I do. (At least he made my football picks for me.)

Well, this has been a long tale but I wanted to the people I’ve let down that I’m back to work and will be working harder than ever now. This time I’ll be doing it sober as well. I still have a long road ahead but at least I’m not trying to do it alone this time. I think I have the proper motivation now since I desperately need to start making some steady income since I’ve screwed so many things up the past few months.

If you’ve read this far thanks for listening since I deeply appreciate the friends I have here.
Ulfie you got some major testicular fortitude to make that post.
I wish you a speedy recovery...looks like your well on he way!
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Old 12-08-2003   #4
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Good luck, Ulfie!

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Old 12-08-2003   #5
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{{{{{{{{{Ulfie}}}}}}}}}

Glad you're getting things straightened out. To make that decision on your own instead of someone else having to it for you shows an enormous amount of inner strength

You know if you ever need ANYTHING there are huge amounts of people that will help you - just yell!

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Old 12-08-2003   #6
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Ulfie... I feel your pain.. I've been through it myself.....

Believe me.. there is life after alcohol....

Take it slow, listen to what they have to say.... the biggest block to overcome, is knowing its NOT you.. its a gene that some of us, unfortunately have, that makes us susceptable to the drug....

You are not in for an easy few months, but it sounds like you have the metal to tough it out, and come through this..... you need someone to talk at thats been there... hit me up....

It's all good.. you can do it!

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Old 12-08-2003   #7
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ulfie, I was getting worried about you, I'm very glad you have reached out for help and I'm behind you 100%

If you need anything let me know. and give me a call when you get a change.
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Old 12-08-2003   #8
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Well fucking done , ulfie!!!!!

And good luck. Its tough
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Old 12-08-2003   #9
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Glad to hear you got the help you needed and got through those two incidents safely. I'm sure the Oprano family will be more than willing to help and support you in any way they can!!
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Old 12-08-2003   #10
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Thank you everyone. Feels good to be sober again. I was told that technical people were one of the worst kinds of addicts because they are used to fixing things by themselves. I was certainly that way. I didn't need any help, I could do it myself. Addicts do a good job of lying themselves. Well, after a year of trying and failing I finally decided that I needed help. I will be continuing to go to group therapy for as long as they feel it's necessary.

The only bad thing is Las Vegas is now out of the question for me. No way I want to be in that environment so soon. Oh well, there's always Florida.
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Old 12-08-2003   #11
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Good for you Ulfie!

Like Gonzo said, it takes some major guts to come out and make a post like that. Hat's off to you!
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Old 12-08-2003   #12
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Nick's right ... it's tough.

Which is kinda funny. When NOT waking up on the floor with a mouthful of pizza doesn't seem right, you know things are just a little out of balance.

I haven't found it necessary to guess where the pizza came from since October, 1993. It's hard, then it gets downright harder - and then it gets better than you'd ever believe.

Like everyone else, if you need anything, give me a yell.
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Old 12-08-2003   #13
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Huge respect from me..takes a big man to do it in the first place and an even bigger man to talk about it anywhere much less in our industry where excess feels like the name of the game.
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Old 12-08-2003   #14
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Goddam...

Excellent work Ulfie it took a real man to admit it to himself never mind here
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Old 12-08-2003   #15
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Congratulations Ulfie, that is a big step and you should be proud of yourself....

Just a story that may (or may not) help........

My mother was the smartest woman I ever knew. She graduated second in her class at University of Rochester. She was a Math and Bio major and taught both subjects. She was an amazing woman with virtually multitudes of wisdom and knowledge to pass on to her 5 kids.

She died at the age of 47 due to brain damage and scirosiss..... she literally drank herself to death (I was 17 at the time) and devestated an entire family in the process.

I will not go into the particulars........ But stopping drinking can only be a good thing.

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Old 12-08-2003   #16
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Good for you Ulfie!

Good Luck!

-KC
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Old 12-08-2003   #17
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Good stuff!
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Old 12-08-2003   #18
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Ulfie,

good to see you back bro. You made the correct choice, and just remember 1 day at a time..

Happy Holidays

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Old 12-08-2003   #19
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Quote:
Originally posted by sextoyking@Dec 8 2003, 12:46 PM
just remember 1 day at a time..
and if that doesn't work...

1 hour at a time...
or 1 minute at a time...
or 1 second at a time...
or 1 moment at a time.......

Whatever gets you there........
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Old 12-08-2003   #20
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Congrats buddy. Thats a tough decision and realization to make and I wish you all the best. You know if you ever need anything don't hesitate to give me a call.

On another note you had me and a few other of your friends worried sick where you may have been. I tried calling you Saturday 3-4 times so thats my cell number if you see it on your incoming call list. I'm glad your ok and soon to be doing much better old friend...

And thats not going to get you out of going to the Daytona 500 with me in Feb. We will both do it without any drinking and still have a blast...
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Old 12-08-2003   #21
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Quote:
Originally posted by ulfie@Dec 8 2003, 08:29 AM
Addicts do a good job of lying themselves.
This is God's honest truth. Good luck Ulfie, you started the first steps. By admiting to yourself you have a problem, and getting help, are the first signs of recovery.

There are two ways it can go. Your addiction controls you, which it has. The second, which you are doing, you control your addiction.

Good for you Ulfie! Keep it up!
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Old 12-08-2003   #22
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Very good job Ulfie! Nice.

Its always great to see someone take control and decide to make positive changes in their lives!
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Old 12-08-2003   #23
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Awesome Ulfie and congrats

Went on the wagon myself about 8 weeks ago though did it on my own and can't imagine a time I've been happier in my life, dropped 20lbs, got a new g/f and feel great, the best is yet to come!
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Old 12-08-2003   #24
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Looks like loads of people have climbed on the wagon this year.

Congrats to you too, Toolz .
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Old 12-08-2003   #25
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Thank you so much for your honesty Ulfie, I'm kinda in the same place you were in and I'm looking forward to making it through the way that you have - stay strong.



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Old 12-08-2003   #26
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Life has been crazed for several weeks here. I read something you posted a few weeks back and it sent off alarms and I meant to hit you up and life got very busy for me. Feeling bad I didn't get a chance to at the time.

In any event, my friend, you should be very proud. Tough to do and tough to post, but you did it, and your friends have your back!
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Old 12-08-2003   #27
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Wow Ulfie, that's awesome ))))
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Old 12-08-2003   #28
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Quote:
Originally posted by Nickatilynx@Dec 8 2003, 10:25 AM
Looks like loads of people have climbed on the wagon this year.

Congrats to you too, Toolz .
Thanks Nick however mine doesn't sound nearly as hard as Ulfie's. I wanted to play hockey again and it seemed like a good idea to quit while I was trying to get in shape but now I'm really liking the change of lifestyle and have no plans to ever start again.
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Old 12-08-2003   #29
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You should be very proud of yourself, what you did takes courage and committiment. There is such support for you here, that if you ever need it, all you have to do is ask.

Best of luck, you are on the way to owning your own life again.

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Old 12-08-2003   #30
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Quote:
Originally posted by Nickatilynx@Dec 8 2003, 10:25 AM
Looks like loads of people have climbed on the wagon this year.

Congrats to you too, Toolz .
amazing huh? great news.

imagine what this industry and people here could become if they were sober all the time!

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Old 12-08-2003   #31
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Quote:


Originally posted by JR+Dec 8 2003, 02:57 PM-->
QUOTE (JR @ Dec 8 2003, 02:57 PM)
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Old 12-08-2003   #32
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Quote:
Originally posted by Carrie@Dec 8 2003, 03:06 PM
Hell if you took all of the *free* alcohol out of the conventions, you'd get rid of the majority of the "I'm just here for the party" folks who don't care about business anyway.
Isn't that the truth. I used to go to IBM conferences for years and hospitality suites, parties, etc. were strictly prohibited. We used to do private dinners with 10-12 people but that was about it. Much better way to spend your money and do business.
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Old 12-08-2003   #33
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Ulfie, glad you are ok, I was worried. I know you have always been a man of your word, look foward to working with you.
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Old 12-08-2003   #34
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Rock Bottom is the first place you usually have to visit before you can climb back up ... congratulations on making a change for the better Ulfie.



You are in for a treat over the next few weeks as the alcohol and pizza (quit eating that crap too!!!!!!) detox from your system ... eat lots of fresh fruits and drink heaps of water ... your liver has some serious repairing to do ;-)
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Old 12-08-2003   #35
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way to go Ulfie...

btw.. i appreciate your emails when we are being bashed by people on other webmaster boards :-)
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Old 12-08-2003   #36
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Quote:
Originally posted by Mike AI@Dec 8 2003, 04:13 PM
Ulfie, glad you are ok, I was worried. I know you have always been a man of your word, look foward to working with you.
Mike, that means more to me than you will ever know. I feel I let you down badly the past few weeks. Call it my inbred catholic guilt or whatever but that was the thing I felt the worst about. I have to make it up to several people that have helped me over the last few months. I will do it. Surrender is not in my creed.
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Old 12-08-2003   #37
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Congrats Ulfie.
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Old 12-08-2003   #38
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Ulfie - 1 day at a time

If you need anything I'm here

Have to do it for yourself and you've taken the first steps
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Old 12-08-2003   #39
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Ulfie if you need anything let me know !

GOOD LUCK !
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Old 12-08-2003   #40
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Thanks for sharing that took Balls , all the best in the First day of the rest of your Life
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Old 12-08-2003   #41
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Quote:
Originally posted by ulfie@Dec 8 2003, 08:29 AM


The only bad thing is Las Vegas is now out of the question for me. No way I want to be in that environment so soon. Oh well, there's always Florida.
I guess that means no pizza party huh? Well, good luck, and I hope this does not effect your chances for Asshole of the Year contention.
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Old 12-09-2003   #42
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Glad to hear you are o.k. Ulfie...i had a chat with your aunt about 2 weeks ago.

If you need anything or if you just want to have a sober outing lmk,
I am not far away.

Just give me a holler!
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Old 12-09-2003   #43
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Quote:
Originally posted by ulfie@Dec 8 2003, 10:01 AM
I debated long and hard whether I should post this on a public message board but I think it will be good therapy.
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Old 12-09-2003   #44
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Awesome decision! Best of luck to you. You can succeed, just take it minute by minute. You are a very brave person. urpdance:
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Old 12-09-2003   #45
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..I wish some of my familymembers would make the same decision..
Good luck though!
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