Where's the dumbest place you ever had sex?

MorganGrayson · 09-29-2005

Mind tends to wander while I'm site building, as I can code in my sleep and often have.

Where's the dumbest place you ever had sex? Not the sexiest, not the most exotic...the place that makes you look back and say "I can't fucking believe I ever did that!"

With me, it was my mother-in-law's bathroom with her in the next room. (It was the pink shag rug that did it for my husband.) I've never been one of those people who got charged up at the thought of "getting caught." (I didn't get that gene.) Especially not by my mother-in-law...who wasn't even my mother-in-law yet.

It was also pretty stupid to think that the woman was just going to think it took the two of us that long to "get dressed" in the bathroom, but she didn't say anything...thank god.

I do imagine there's a line in her will that says "I *was* going to leave you my diamond watch...but you FUCKED IN MY BATHROOM!!"

Trev · 09-29-2005

In the ladies bathroom at a local night club. It wasn't the place that was dumb - it was getting caught by the bouncers and having my arse hauled out of the club with my pants round my ankles...

MorganGrayson · 09-29-2005

Quote:

Originally Posted by Trev

In the ladies bathroom at a local night club. It wasn't the place that was dumb - it was getting caught by the bouncers and having my arse hauled out of the club with my pants round my ankles...

Actually, the place was pretty dumb. I thought that kind of activity always occured in the *men's* bathroom? (Reasoning being, a woman in the men's bathroom might get a sound talking to...but a man in the ladies' room faces arrest and a lifelong tag as a sex offender, this remarkably stupid planet being what it is.)

I'll cherish the mental image, crumpet.

Trev · 09-29-2005

Quote:

Originally Posted by MorganGrayson

Actually, the place was pretty dumb. I thought that kind of activity always occured in the *men's* bathroom? (Reasoning being, a woman in the men's bathroom might get a sound talking to...but a man in the ladies' room faces arrest and a lifelong tag as a sex offender, this remarkably stupid planet being what it is.)

I'll cherish the mental image, crumpet.

You've never seen the mens bathroom at my local night club... not the place to be having drunken relations.

MorganGrayson · 09-29-2005

Quote:

Originally Posted by Trev

You've never seen the mens bathroom at my local night club... not the place to be having drunken relations.

Oops. Forgot. One of the more popular kinds of "male bashing" around is that the ladies' room is nice and clean and the men's room should be condemned. Forgot about that.

I've seen one men's room in my entire life. Ah, I just remembered another dumb sex story. Sneaking into the men's dorm at the University of Louisville. That's where I saw the men's room...that being the only kind available.

Seeing my first urinal was actually more of a fun experience than the lousy sex I had that night.

TheEnforcer · 09-29-2005

Quote:

Originally Posted by Trev

In the ladies bathroom at a local night club. It wasn't the place that was dumb - it was getting caught by the bouncers and having my arse hauled out of the club with my pants round my ankles...

MorganGrayson · 09-29-2005

Quote:

Originally Posted by TheEnforcer

In defense of my crumpet...OK, TE, spill it!!! What's *your* story????

domtheboy · 09-30-2005

Quote:

Originally Posted by Trev

In the ladies bathroom at a local night club. It wasn't the place that was dumb - it was getting caught by the bouncers and having my arse hauled out of the club with my pants round my ankles...

When they caught you, did the scream in pure Geoff off Byker Grove fashion:

"Wey-aye, what's gannin on 'ere like ? Ya dorty rascal !"

Trev · 09-30-2005

Quote:

Originally Posted by domtheboy

When they caught you, did the scream in pure Geoff off Byker Grove fashion:

"Wey-aye, what's gannin on 'ere like ? Ya dorty rascal !"

Hahahahaha

Something along those lines, with a "We'z ganna kick the fuckin' shite oot a ya oot side bonny lad"

TheEnforcer · 09-29-2005

Driving down interstate 94 on my way home from LaCrosse several times. :>))

Winetalk.com · 09-29-2005

back seat of a cadi on the way back from Atlantic City. She was a stock broker and that fuck costed me over $50,000 in the next 5 years
;0

Dravyk · 09-29-2005

On the side of a busy interstate.

So one time me and the babe I was going out with at the time got horny. And we kinda liked a little "danger sex" or semi-exhibition sex, whatever. Pulled over onto the shoulder, got out, went to the other side of the car, started doing it standing up.

It's when the 18 wheelers whizz by and the car (a heavy one, not a compact) that you're leaning against shakes like an earthquake, and the wind nearly blows you away ... well, it just wasn't very "conducive" ...

Anyway not totally sure if that was dumb, as much as it didn't work as well as we'd thought.

gigi · 09-29-2005

hahaha, some funny stories!

For me it was the door well of a public school....young and stupid...night time, cold cement at my back...and a cop's flashlight shining right in my eyes...

SykkBoy · 09-30-2005

Quote:

Originally Posted by Dravyk

On the side of a busy interstate.

So one time me and the babe I was going out with at the time got horny. And we kinda liked a little "danger sex" or semi-exhibition sex, whatever. Pulled over onto the shoulder, got out, went to the other side of the car, started doing it standing up.

It's when the 18 wheelers whizz by and the car (a heavy one, not a compact) that you're leaning against shakes like an earthquake, and the wind nearly blows you away ... well, it just wasn't very "conducive" ...

Anyway not totally sure if that was dumb, as much as it didn't work as well as we'd thought.

yeah, that was dumb....she could have gotten caught on something sharp on your car and popped and flew away...

Dr. Elle · 09-30-2005

Quote:

Originally Posted by Dravyk

On the side of a busy interstate.

So one time me and the babe I was going out with at the time got horny. And we kinda liked a little "danger sex" or semi-exhibition sex, whatever. Pulled over onto the shoulder, got out, went to the other side of the car, started doing it standing up.

It's when the 18 wheelers whizz by and the car (a heavy one, not a compact) that you're leaning against shakes like an earthquake, and the wind nearly blows you away ... well, it just wasn't very "conducive" ...

Anyway not totally sure if that was dumb, as much as it didn't work as well as we'd thought.

Those things only work out well in films. Reality somehow manages to weasel it's way in when we attempt to act out fantasy.

Dravyk · 10-01-2005

Quote:

Originally Posted by Dr. Elle

Those things only work out well in films. Reality somehow manages to weasel it's way in when we attempt to act out fantasy.

In reality, sex is nosier and more gooey as well.

Dr. Elle · 10-01-2005

Quote:

Originally Posted by Dravyk

In reality, sex is nosier and more gooey as well.

If you're doing it right.

MorganGrayson · 10-01-2005

Quote:

Originally Posted by Dravyk

In reality, sex is nosier and more gooey as well.

I'm going to assume you meant "noisier" here, Dravyk.

(A little help getting the "gooey nose" out of my head would be appreciated.)

Sometimes I think one of the worst mistakes a person can make is attempting to live out a fantasy. It will never work as well as it does in one's head...and the price paid is the loss of the fantasy. I think that's too high a price to be paid.

I have my fantasies categorized in my head. "Things I'd like to do" and "things I just amuse myself thinking about."

I'm never going to ride off on the back of a Harley and have glorious sex with a young stud biker who smells like engines and leather. I've faced that. I dont' even really want to...I just want to think about it occasionally.

PornoDoggy · 09-29-2005

A church.

Dravyk · 09-29-2005

Quote:

Originally Posted by PornoDoggy

A church.

So why was that dumb?

Funny one, Gigi! Bet you made that cop's night.

MorganGrayson · 09-29-2005

Wow.

Dravy...definitely dumb. You could have been killed.

gigi...definitely dumb. You could have been arrested.

Serge...definitely dumb...and expensive.

PornoDoggy...um...yikes!

TheEnforcer · 09-29-2005

Quote:

Originally Posted by MorganGrayson

Wow.

Dravy...definitely dumb. You could have been killed.

gigi...definitely dumb. You could have been arrested.

Serge...definitely dumb...and expensive.

PornoDoggy...um...yikes!

You ask, I answer, and then you ignore me!

MorganGrayson · 09-29-2005

Quote:

Originally Posted by TheEnforcer

You ask, I answer, and then you ignore me!

Omigosh! I am SO sorry! I missed your post!

You're right...that *was* dumb. (It also reminds me of *another* story, so I'm not going to be too hard on you. Geeze, looking back on it, my life wasn't nearly as boring as I'd thought!)

Dravyk · 09-29-2005

Quote:

Originally Posted by TheEnforcer

You ask, I answer, and then you ignore me!

There, there.

... Wuss!

PornoDoggy · 09-29-2005

Busted by minister's daughter with her best friend. Some time later, busted with minister's daughter by a girl in our youth group who told her mommy everything.

DrGuile · 09-29-2005

Quote:

Originally Posted by PornoDoggy

Busted by minister's daughter with her best friend.

Oh man! Bad Porno music just started playing in my head!

Newton · 09-29-2005

On a train going to London in the toilets, not the most roomy of compartments, and luckily she was fairly pliable

Nickatilynx · 09-29-2005

I'm just amazed Dravyk EVER has sex.....

;-))))

Dravyk · 09-29-2005

Quote:

Originally Posted by Nickatilynx

I'm just amazed Dravyk EVER has sex.....

;-))))

Hah! You lost points for that post.

Nickatilynx · 09-29-2005

Quote:

Originally Posted by Dravyk

Hah! You lost points for that post.

Fuck ,I did!!!

Fuck!!!

LOL

Nickatilynx · 09-29-2005

back at ya...

Dravyk · 09-29-2005

Quote:

Originally Posted by Nickatilynx

back at ya...

I saw!

Bastard!

LOL!!!

Trev · 09-29-2005

Quote:

Originally Posted by Dravyk

I saw!

Bastard!

LOL!!!

Kinda cool aint it..

Steady · 09-29-2005

At the lake...I was 21 and she was 19. She was recently crowned queen of the city where we both lived. She was awesome, everyone in the town we lived in wanted a to bang her.

Two cops caught us fucking up a storm.

It was worth getting caught. The cops told us to leave the lake park area.

It was dumb, because I had an apartment. We could have gone there.

Nickatilynx · 09-29-2005

Dravyk....

You wanna fuck with me!!!!

LOL

Say hello to my little friend...

Technick penalise ( Oeeer! Missus!!!) dravyk please

Nickatilynx · 09-29-2005

Quote:

Originally Posted by Nickatilynx

Dravyk....

You wanna fuck with me!!!!

LOL

Say hello to my little friend...

Technick penalise ( Oeeer! Missus!!!) dravyk please

So hard to get competent henchmen these days.....

(sigh)

Dravyk · 09-29-2005

Quote:

Originally Posted by Nickatilynx

So hard to get competent henchmen these days.....

(sigh)

Maybe if you wore a cape ...

Dravyk · 09-29-2005

Quote:

Originally Posted by Nickatilynx

Dravyk....

You wanna fuck with me!!!!

LOL

Say hello to my little friend...

Technick penalise ( Oeeer! Missus!!!) dravyk please

He's not so little!

Technick, get him for that!

09-29-2005

Quote:

Originally Posted by Dravyk

He's not so little!

Technick, get him for that!

Are you saying I am fat Drav?

Dravyk · 09-29-2005

Quote:

Originally Posted by Technick

Are you saying I am fat Drav?

Nope. I was complimenting your penis.

Gawd, can't win.

Nickatilynx · 09-29-2005

Quote:

Originally Posted by Dravyk

FUCK OFF NICK YOU FAT CUNT!!!

Well thats not nice....at all

Nickatilynx · 09-29-2005

Quote:

Originally Posted by Technick

Are you saying I am fat Drav?

Oh I so wouldn't stand for that....

prolly some other shit you can fuck with of Dravyks...if you looked around.

SWEET!

Trev · 09-29-2005

ahahahahaha, seems he'd put himself at 1000000 points, it only takes a second to add a -

Nickatilynx · 09-29-2005

Ha!!!

PornoDoggy · 09-29-2005

Oh, my ... I forgot about the time in the Navy that Shore Patrol checked out my steamed-up car in a restricted area (picnic area was left, I went right).

The hottie I had picked up in the club turned out to be the wife of the Operations Officer of a squadron on deployment.

Nickatilynx · 09-29-2005

Great so you are calling him a big dick now....tsk tsk....

OldJeff · 09-29-2005

I guess I have to go with in bed. If I had avoided that first night with my ex wife, the cryptkeeper, I could have avoided a whole lot of misery in my life.

(And it was more expensive than Serge's)

MorganGrayson · 09-29-2005

Thank you, OldJeff and PornoDoggy, for managing to hold onto the topic of this thread while in the midst of...that. Whatever that was.

PornoDoggy · 09-30-2005

Quote:

Originally Posted by MorganGrayson

Thank you, OldJeff and PornoDoggy, for managing to hold onto the topic of this thread while in the midst of...that. Whatever that was.

That was the boys discovering their toys, of course ...

Seems a lot of us have been caught in our cars ... there was a St. Louis County cop I wanted to invite to my first wedding. This guy must have caught us almost in the act, in the act, or right after the act four or five times in a six month periodl. Yes, we were smart enough to move; he was just damned good at finding us, or he was stalking one of us.

DannyCox · 09-29-2005

WOW! It's hard to think of just one! I really have done so many stupid things for sex!

There was the time I was banging my old girlfriend's cousin, in her cousin's bed, with my girlfriend in the next room. Yes, I did get caught, but that didn't end the relationship. That ended when she caught me banging the same cousin in her car right outside of my girlfriend's house!!

There was also that time when my own cousin was blowing me in the laundry room of her house (I was 14, she was 15), and her father (my uncle) walked in on us. That was a fun time too!

Ah, the memories.....

09-29-2005	#1
MorganGrayson None $100 for every ImLive sign-up Join Date: Apr 2004 Posts: 4,321	Where's the dumbest place you ever had sex? Mind tends to wander while I'm site building, as I can code in my sleep and often have. Where's the dumbest place you ever had sex? Not the sexiest, not the most exotic...the place that makes you look back and say "I can't fucking believe I ever did that!" With me, it was my mother-in-law's bathroom with her in the next room. (It was the pink shag rug that did it for my husband.) I've never been one of those people who got charged up at the thought of "getting caught." (I didn't get that gene.) Especially not by my mother-in-law...who wasn't even my mother-in-law yet. It was also pretty stupid to think that the woman was just going to think it took the two of us that long to "get dressed" in the bathroom, but she didn't say anything...thank god. I do imagine there's a line in her will that says "I was going to leave you my diamond watch...but you FUCKED IN MY BATHROOM!!"

09-29-2005	#2
Trev Cunty Want to see your own Advertising Here! Join Date: Jan 2003 Posts: 10,150	Re: Where's the dumbest place you ever had sex? In the ladies bathroom at a local night club. It wasn't the place that was dumb - it was getting caught by the bouncers and having my arse hauled out of the club with my pants round my ankles... __________________ Sucks to be you.

09-29-2005	#10
TheEnforcer Scored VIP to Anton's Piss Tank Want to see your own Advertising Here! Join Date: Oct 2002 Posts: 8,781	Re: Where's the dumbest place you ever had sex? Driving down interstate 94 on my way home from LaCrosse several times. :>))

09-29-2005	#11
Winetalk.com Prostate Examiner I quoff fine wine at corkd.com Join Date: Oct 2002 Location: good 'ole USA Posts: 21,018	Re: Where's the dumbest place you ever had sex? back seat of a cadi on the way back from Atlantic City. She was a stock broker and that fuck costed me over $50,000 in the next 5 years ;0 __________________ why dogs sniff each other butts?

09-29-2005	#12
Dravyk Easy Like Sunday Morning Want to see your own Advertising Here! Join Date: Oct 2002 Location: Behind a couch, somewhere in Philly Posts: 7,628	Re: Where's the dumbest place you ever had sex? On the side of a busy interstate. So one time me and the babe I was going out with at the time got horny. And we kinda liked a little "danger sex" or semi-exhibition sex, whatever. Pulled over onto the shoulder, got out, went to the other side of the car, started doing it standing up. It's when the 18 wheelers whizz by and the car (a heavy one, not a compact) that you're leaning against shakes like an earthquake, and the wind nearly blows you away ... well, it just wasn't very "conducive" ... Anyway not totally sure if that was dumb, as much as it didn't work as well as we'd thought. __________________ All Of 'Em Mainstream Webmasters New: WebmasterConventions.com

09-29-2005	#13
gigi on prozac - be gentle Join Date: Oct 2002 Location: Canada, eh! Posts: 1,069	Re: Where's the dumbest place you ever had sex? hahaha, some funny stories! For me it was the door well of a public school....young and stupid...night time, cold cement at my back...and a cop's flashlight shining right in my eyes... __________________ A bit of fragrance always clings to the hand that gives the rose mail me

09-29-2005	#19
PornoDoggy Cramming 3 people in a Room to Attend Show Want to see your own Advertising Here! Join Date: Oct 2002 Location: Amid the Cornfields of Illinois Posts: 5,366	Re: Where's the dumbest place you ever had sex? A church. __________________ SEX STORY TEXT Exotic Material for Adult Websites Available for part time (project or ongoing) work ...

09-29-2005	#27
Newton It's always business, never personal! The POWER of radio Oprano Radio Join Date: Aug 2004 Location: On a golf course Posts: 4,916	Re: Where's the dumbest place you ever had sex? On a train going to London in the toilets, not the most roomy of compartments, and luckily she was fairly pliable __________________ Poser Bush in a mix-up over his hi-tech gizmo - ICLOD

09-29-2005	#28
Nickatilynx Banned Want to see your own Advertising Here! Join Date: Oct 2002 Location: Vancouver Canada Posts: 15,115	Re: Where's the dumbest place you ever had sex? I'm just amazed Dravyk EVER has sex..... ;-))))

09-29-2005	#34
Steady Members Join Date: Mar 2005 Posts: 864	Re: Where's the dumbest place you ever had sex? At the lake...I was 21 and she was 19. She was recently crowned queen of the city where we both lived. She was awesome, everyone in the town we lived in wanted a to bang her. Two cops caught us fucking up a storm. It was worth getting caught. The cops told us to leave the lake park area. It was dumb, because I had an apartment. We could have gone there. __________________ ICQ 314168626 Check out our Shared Plans CLICK HERE!

09-29-2005	#47
OldJeff Cantankerous Loony Join Date: Oct 2002 Posts: 468	Re: Where's the dumbest place you ever had sex? I guess I have to go with in bed. If I had avoided that first night with my ex wife, the cryptkeeper, I could have avoided a whole lot of misery in my life. (And it was more expensive than Serge's)

09-29-2005	#50
DannyCox I like cheese Join Date: Aug 2003 Location: Montreal, QC, CA Posts: 1,185	Re: Where's the dumbest place you ever had sex? WOW! It's hard to think of just one! I really have done so many stupid things for sex! There was the time I was banging my old girlfriend's cousin, in her cousin's bed, with my girlfriend in the next room. Yes, I did get caught, but that didn't end the relationship. That ended when she caught me banging the same cousin in her car right outside of my girlfriend's house!! There was also that time when my own cousin was blowing me in the laundry room of her house (I was 14, she was 15), and her father (my uncle) walked in on us. That was a fun time too! Ah, the memories..... __________________ iAmateurs Network Amateur Niche Affiliate Programs

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