Discovering Porn on your boyfriends computer

[miz_wright]

Originally Posted by Toby

"Don't think, it can only hurt the ball club." - Crash Davis


OK, time to get serious for a bit...

OK, let me preface the following by saying that I've not been in a serious relationship since my divorce almost 10 years ago (I know, I need to get out more) so I may be a little out of touch with "today's society". However, I think the author of the article is far more open minded than most girlfriends/wives. I also think damn few guys would openly and honestly discuss the topic if confronted by their wife/girlfriend. I believe that kind of communication is the exception rather than the rule. Am I right or wrong?

No, I think you're (sadly) probably right. Honest communication is (in my opinion) one of the biggest roadblocks in most relationships - there tends not to be a standard of honesty with ourselves, generally, which makes it that much more difficult to be honest with our partners. As I noted in my response, ultimately, I have to give the author props for recognising that everyone is entitled to things that aren't necessarily for both parties in the relatioinship. In this case, porn. In other cases, it might be football. Either way - it's something sometimes best experienced alone, 'cos it's not your partner's cuppa.

[EmporerEJ]

Originally Posted by LizAEBN

No, I think you're (sadly) probably right. Honest communication is (in my opinion) one of the biggest roadblocks in most relationships - there tends not to be a standard of honesty with ourselves, generally, which makes it that much more difficult to be honest with our partners. As I noted in my response, ultimately, I have to give the author props for recognising that everyone is entitled to things that aren't necessarily for both parties in the relatioinship. In this case, porn. In other cases, it might be football. Either way - it's something sometimes best experienced alone, 'cos it's not your partner's cuppa.

I think the problem is more basic than that. And one I wish I understood more from the female side of things (For marketing purposes.) For men, masturbation is hard wired in. Genetically, men are driven to "spread the seed" as much as possible. Men conquer and copulate. Women nurture and nest.
Visual stimulation is just what men crave when the actual act isn't available every 20 minutes. (Fortunately for our collective businesses.)
Women mis-interpret this as some form of cheating, when for men, it's mostly a mechanical requirement. There is no emotional attachment to it. With women playing head games (no pun intended) to get access to sex, men simply follow the path of least resistance.
(Which is precisely why I have a bright future)

[miz_wright]

Originally Posted by EmporerEJ

I think the problem is more basic than that. And one I wish I understood more from the female side of things (For marketing purposes.) For men, masturbation is hard wired in. Genetically, men are driven to "spread the seed" as much as possible. Men conquer and copulate. Women nurture and nest.
Visual stimulation is just what men crave when the actual act isn't available every 20 minutes. (Fortunately for our collective businesses.)
Women mis-interpret this as some form of cheating, when for men, it's mostly a mechanical requirement. There is no emotional attachment to it. With women playing head games (no pun intended) to get access to sex, men simply follow the path of least resistance.
(Which is precisely why I have a bright future)

As I noted previously:
"Frankly, the thing that I don't understand about it - more than anything else - is why anyone would be hacked off at the idea that his/her partner masturbates. I mean... Logically speaking, isn't it a helluva lot better to have your partner beat off in your livin room than get some freaky on a corner?"

Because the things you cite are pretty widely known - it's not like it's a big honkin' surprise (or shouldn't be, at any rate) that dudes beat their meat to images instead of snuggles. On the other hand, I've dated guys who saw it as a blow to them when I would jill off - sometimes it's just not worth the hassle of dealing with another person's hangups.

Then again, as I also mentioned previously, I realise I am not cut of the same cloth as most American women.

[EmporerEJ]

Originally Posted by LizAEBN

As I noted previously:
"Frankly, the thing that I don't understand about it - more than anything else - is why anyone would be hacked off at the idea that his/her partner masturbates. I mean... Logically speaking, isn't it a helluva lot better to have your partner beat off in your livin room than get some freaky on a corner?"

Because the things you cite are pretty widely known - it's not like it's a big honkin' surprise (or shouldn't be, at any rate) that dudes beat their meat to images instead of snuggles. On the other hand, I've dated guys who saw it as a blow to them when I would jill off - sometimes it's just not worth the hassle of dealing with another person's hangups.

Then again, as I also mentioned previously, I realize I am not cut of the same cloth as most American women.

Clearly, you are a "man's woman." It would be nice if more women had your attitude. I dated one once that was turned on by watching Gay porn. (Didn't bother me, I was facing the other way at the time and concentrating on my "snack.")
Personally, I would find it stimulating to watch a girl "jill off." (Is that really the slang for that?) Just as I feel two girls together is about the most intoxicating thing I could possibly be part of.
I heard many men are intimidated by this but still talk a good game.
people are funny.....that's for sure. But catering to their idiosyncrasies can be profitable.

[miz_wright]

Originally Posted by EmporerEJ

Clearly, you are a "man's woman." It would be nice if more women had your attitude. I dated one once that was turned on by watching Gay porn. (Didn't bother me, I was facing the other way at the time and concentrating on my "snack.")
Personally, I would find it stimulating to watch a girl "jill off." (Is that really the slang for that?) Just as I feel two girls together is about the most intoxicating thing I could possibly be part of.
I heard many men are intimidated by this but still talk a good game.
people are funny.....that's for sure. But catering to their idiosyncrasies can be profitable.

Well, I'm pretty sure no other het man in America thinks that two chicks together is hot... Oh, wait a minute

I dunno if it's common slang, but it's the phrase I use - gets the point across nicely, I think