I could have gone to Jamaica

[Carrie]

I don't mean this to sound snooty, but it sounds like you're really letting the commercialism and materialism get to you. It's not the number of gifts you give, ya know. The kids will be just as happy with one cool gift as they will with 30 cool gifts... plus they're guaranteed not to ignore the one gift (which with 30 they'll end up ignoring 29 at a time).

If the buying, wrapping, shipping etc is stressing you out, then you're doing too much of it... and think of what you're teaching said heathens (it's not about family, it's about how many gifts you receive). Remember you're setting them up for later in life, do you want them stressing out and emptying out the bank account every year and going through all of that mess and worry once they become adults?

*You* make the season what it is. Whether it's about how much stuff you have and how "perfect" everything is, or whether it's about being together and enjoying the family... it's up to you. All of this commercialism can't control you if you don't let it. Send handwritten letters (from you and the kids) instead of gifts to relatives out-of-town, with a few pictures... that will be cherished more than an expensive gift. The folks who are in town, something small (even just homemade cookies or a pie) or a few hours of your undivided attention does wonders and doesn't have an exhorbitant price tag (and the stress that goes along with it)...
Make it simple, keep it fun.. the only one who can put the focus back on the holiday and get it away from the "how many presents did I get" or "how impressive is my present" (for both kids and adults) is you.