Darwin Award candidate

[Red]

An unnamed newspaper carrier in Jacksonville, Fla., was
confronted by a man who said the carrier had forgotten to deliver his
newspaper. When the 56-year-old carrier asked the man for his address
to check his list, the man responded by pulling a gun. "Give me a
paper," he demanded at gunpoint. The carrier handed over a paper, then
called police. Officers found Christopher M. Cooper, 26, hiding in a
cooler at a gas station, a gun in his car, and marijuana in his pocket.
He was charged with armed robbery of the 50-cent paper, and drug
possession. (Jacksonville Times-Union)


The stupidity of some people just boggles the mind.

[MorganGrayson]

There's stupid...and then there's...this guy....

The other guys in prison are going to mock him severely.

[Dravyk]

Originally Posted by MorganGrayson

There's stupid...and then there's...this guy....

The other guys in prison are going to mock him severely.

Suddenly have this mental image of a group of nasty 350 lb guys going "tsk tsk" and "you silly boy" and "neener".

[MorganGrayson]

Originally Posted by Dravyk

Suddenly have this mental image of a group of nasty 350 lb guys going "tsk tsk" and "you silly boy" and "neener".

Never, *ever* commit a felony, Dravyk. You'd be in for such a rude shock.

Of course, by the time the story gets passed around, the 56 year old paper carrier will have become an 11 year old paper boy...and very...bad...things...will happen in the shower.

Convicts are reliable that way.

[PornoDoggy]

And I, I walked over to the, to the bench there, and there is, Group W's
where they put you if you may not be moral enough to join the army after
committing your special crime, and there was all kinds of mean nasty ugly
looking people on the bench there. Mother rapers. Father stabbers. Father
rapers! Father rapers sitting right there on the bench next to me! And
they was mean and nasty and ugly and horrible crime-type guys sitting on the
bench next to me. And the meanest, ugliest, nastiest one, the meanest
father raper of them all, was coming over to me and he was mean 'n' ugly
'n' nasty 'n' horrible and all kind of things and he sat down next to me
and said, "Kid, whad'ya get?" I said, "I didn't get nothing, I had to pay
$50 and pick up the garbage." He said, "What were you arrested for, kid?"
And I said, "Littering." And they all moved away from me on the bench
there, and the hairy eyeball and all kinds of mean nasty things, till I
said, "And creating a nuisance." And they all came back, shook my hand,
and we had a great time on the bench, talkin about crime, mother stabbing,
father raping, all kinds of groovy things that we was talking about on the
bench.

[Timon]

pretty stupid, but technically someone has to be killed by his stupidity to be nominated for a darwin award

[Trev]

Originally Posted by Timon

pretty stupid, but technically someone has to be killed by his stupidity to be nominated for a darwin award

That could still happen, his cell mate Bubba might give him internal injuries.

[Red]

Originally Posted by PornoDoggy

And I, I walked over to the, to the bench there, and there is, Group W's
where they put you if you may not be moral enough to join the army after
committing your special crime, and there was all kinds of mean nasty ugly
looking people on the bench there. Mother rapers. Father stabbers. Father
rapers! Father rapers sitting right there on the bench next to me! And
they was mean and nasty and ugly and horrible crime-type guys sitting on the
bench next to me. And the meanest, ugliest, nastiest one, the meanest
father raper of them all, was coming over to me and he was mean 'n' ugly
'n' nasty 'n' horrible and all kind of things and he sat down next to me
and said, "Kid, whad'ya get?" I said, "I didn't get nothing, I had to pay
$50 and pick up the garbage." He said, "What were you arrested for, kid?"
And I said, "Littering." And they all moved away from me on the bench
there, and the hairy eyeball and all kinds of mean nasty things, till I
said, "And creating a nuisance." And they all came back, shook my hand,
and we had a great time on the bench, talkin about crime, mother stabbing,
father raping, all kinds of groovy things that we was talking about on the
bench.

That was one of my favorite scenes

[Newton]

For those that don't die, there should be a 'redneck award' .. I believed they were only in TN but apparently not

[Dravyk]

Originally Posted by Newton

For those that don't die, there should be a 'redneck award' .. I believed they were only in TN but apparently not

Got a TV show here called "Blue Collar TV" and they feature photo submissions and announce a "Redneck Yard of the Week". The other week the winner was someone from Canada.

[Red]

Originally Posted by PornoDoggy

And I, I walked over to the, to the bench there, and there is, Group W's
where they put you if you may not be moral enough to join the army after
committing your special crime, and there was all kinds of mean nasty ugly
looking people on the bench there. Mother rapers. Father stabbers. Father
rapers! Father rapers sitting right there on the bench next to me! And
they was mean and nasty and ugly and horrible crime-type guys sitting on the
bench next to me. And the meanest, ugliest, nastiest one, the meanest
father raper of them all, was coming over to me and he was mean 'n' ugly
'n' nasty 'n' horrible and all kind of things and he sat down next to me
and said, "Kid, whad'ya get?" I said, "I didn't get nothing, I had to pay
$50 and pick up the garbage." He said, "What were you arrested for, kid?"
And I said, "Littering." And they all moved away from me on the bench
there, and the hairy eyeball and all kinds of mean nasty things, till I
said, "And creating a nuisance." And they all came back, shook my hand,
and we had a great time on the bench, talkin about crime, mother stabbing,
father raping, all kinds of groovy things that we was talking about on the
bench.

Thanks a lot PD. Now I can't get the song out of my head.

[MorganGrayson]

This guy definitely fits the "too stupid to live" criteria. I'm sure we'll be reading about him on the official "Darwin Awards" someday.

[Newton]

Originally Posted by Dravyk

Got a TV show here called "Blue Collar TV" and they feature photo submissions and announce a "Redneck Yard of the Week". The other week the winner was someone from Canada.

What does a 'redneck yard' look like? Canada is a big place eh

[sarettah]

Originally Posted by Newton

What does a 'redneck yard' look like? Canada is a big place eh

Car motors in the yard.
Toilet bowls used as planters.
Mobile home with no siding covering the bottom.
Bullet holes in the "No Trespassing" sign on the front door.
"Bubba lives here" sign on the front of the house.
Various rusting vehicles of assorted shape and size in the yard (All American Makes)


Those are some of the symptoms of a redneck yard

[Dravyk]

"If you mow your lawn, and you find a pickup truck under there ... you just might be a redneck."

[Dravyk]

Go here: http://oprano.com/msgboard/showthread.php?p=705119

[Newton]

What a very pleasant picture you paint Gentlemen

[ReighlynnRaine]

Originally Posted by Red

An unnamed newspaper carrier in Jacksonville, Fla., was
confronted by a man who said the carrier had forgotten to deliver his
newspaper. When the 56-year-old carrier asked the man for his address
to check his list, the man responded by pulling a gun. "Give me a
paper," he demanded at gunpoint. The carrier handed over a paper, then
called police. Officers found Christopher M. Cooper, 26, hiding in a
cooler at a gas station, a gun in his car, and marijuana in his pocket.
He was charged with armed robbery of the 50-cent paper, and drug
possession. (Jacksonville Times-Union)


The stupidity of some people just boggles the mind.

Wow... that's just... absolutely hilarious. The guy goes through the effort of holding the kid up at gun point and only takes one paper? I'd have taken at least 2.