Dear Dr. Laura,

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Jesus is easy, just get down on your knees
he's gonna listen to your every prayer.
Jesus is easy, just get down on your knees, he's everywhere.
Jesus Christ, he's everywhere.

I tried yoga, I couldn't do it.
Tried macrobiotics, couldn't chew it, I blew it.
Scientology, it made a fool of me
so I'm back to thinking things that I thought when I was 3.

Jesus is easy, just get down on your knees
he's gonna listen to your every prayer.
Jesus is easy, just get down on your knees, he's everywhere.
Jesus Christ, he's everywhere.

I tried women, oh how I tried,
I took little boys in leather suits outside and had them tied.
I tried a poodle, a collie, Kukla, Fran and Ollie,
but Mary in a manger got me satisfied.

Jesus is easy, just get down on your knees
he's gonna listen to your every prayer.
Jesus is easy, just get down on your knees, he's everywhere.
Jesus Christ, he's everywhere.