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07-09-2004
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#1 |
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Celebrating Company's Success with A Beer From Mini Bar
Want to see your own Advertising Here!
Join Date: Oct 2002
Location: Little South of Sanity
Posts: 6,551
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A.K.A. the trials of being nearly famous in Baltimore
we start with our drunken hero ......which you may or may not give a flying fuck about .... or my best self centered Grogan imitation in an annoying autobiographically interlude Getting ready to see LA Guns and Dokken at a local club tonight, call to the club to get show times and much to my dismay LA Guns is OPENING for Dokken :angry: which gives us a flaming hour to get ready and get to the club Quick shower and a stop for a .5 pint of Dewars. Dressing down due to time (keep hearing at the club "where's the velvet and lace" WTF? it's July and 90 degrees) sporting black pinstripe bondage pants, a Sid and Nancy T shirt with a black Dickies shirt with heart, barbed wired and sword on it LA Guns is good, original singer Phil Lewis and Drummer Steve Riley and 2 other guys, play a lot of early LA Guns songs. Good time had by one and all I see some club regulars and pseudo friends and do the glad hand chat drink bullshit Keep thinking to myself all the hot chicks I would hit on are here with someone (serious redhead with big pouty lips and nice figure with biker guy, club is about 10% biker but they are all cool to me) or the girls that hit on me aren't my type. I know the truth, I'm 42 and a little too old to be in clubs (hear Chris Rock's bit about the old guy in the club) and a rather nasty foul evil looking sort - think a sexy Professor Snape - it works for some women but not many Dokken comes on - clue you may be quinky if- your greatest contributions to Rock are "Breaking the chains" and "You just got lucky" - Don Dokken is bloated and wearing a bad hairpiece. While standing upstairs I think to myself about asking a bouncer if I throw the trash can over the railing and knock Don Dokken's hairpiece off will they just throw me out or have me arrested Walking around one of the hottest girls in the club stops and starts trying to chat me up- yes finally! - ok it obvious she's a dancer (kind of pretty face, really nice augmented breasts and a few tattoos) But I can't hear a fucking thing she's saying WHY - because fucking Dokkens playing, finally someone hands me a piece of paper, give her my business card, see her later as she's leaving (Dokken is still playing) and she says she has my card (she's intoxicated by this time and has a "handler" helping her out) Chances of her calling - less than 1% A guy and his wife stop me to say hello, they've seen me perform and their kids love me. He asks me to do something so I comply. Turns out his wife has a very attractive friend (looks like Courtney Cox+10 pounds). I do the bottle through body to her (freaks people out because I take the bottle to use off the bar) and some other simple things I'm carrying. He starts going on about how much his oldest son (10) loves me and about how she (Tracy, the CC look a like) has a terrible time with men and she's available and so on So I chat her up a little, ask her the usual stupid questions (what do you do for fun you know big F, big N, U in the middle) Turns out she is fairly cool but a high $ kind of girl (asking about restaurants - she knows all the best in Baltimore, enjoys hanging out on a yacht, personal trainer and so on) I drop the digits on her (I'm a lazy fuck and it's rare that I'll ever call and don't want to piss girls off) Chance of her calling 10% So you know being single isn't nearly what it's cracked up to be and this has been my lengthy annoying autobiographical moment in which our hero makes like Casey at the Bat once again............. and as we ride off into the sunset ..... Lot of typing nothing being said Think I wrote this more for me than you but thanks for reading if you made it this far Almost forgot about the chick in the bondage skirt who I asked what she was wearing under her skirt Turns out it was little boys shorts - she showed me
__________________
 Pssst Click the Button Above I once wanted to be a Gynecologist But I couldn't find an opening |
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07-09-2004
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#3 |
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Polishing the Chrome on Bishops Motorcycle
$100 for every ImLive sign-up
Join Date: Oct 2002
Location: Hell: Bowels : Level 9
Posts: 4,153
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I'm taking my son to see LA Guns and we might stay for Dokken when they play Vegas in August...
I love having this little metalhead son I can take to concerts with me (well, the all ages shows at the House Of Blues that is). We're going to go see WASP next Thursday and might even catch the Static-X show... My son sees to be "hot women bait". They all love the whole caring father thing. Funny thing about Don's hairpiece is that he is so adament it's not a hairpiece.... the guys at www.metalsludge.com had a great piece on it, but it's late and I can't find it at the moment....
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ADULT PAYMASTER - All Site Access - Paying $70 October 5th! "Love your enemies...just in case your friends turn out to be bastards." - unknown |
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07-09-2004
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#4 | |
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Celebrating Company's Success with A Beer From Mini Bar
Want to see your own Advertising Here!
Join Date: Oct 2002
Location: Little South of Sanity
Posts: 6,551
|
Quote:
__________________
Pssst Click the Button Above I once wanted to be a Gynecologist But I couldn't find an opening |
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07-09-2004
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#5 | |
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Celebrating Company's Success with A Beer From Mini Bar
Want to see your own Advertising Here!
Join Date: Oct 2002
Location: Little South of Sanity
Posts: 6,551
|
Quote:
By the time he's old enough they'll be playing lounges in Vegas Oh shit, they are playing the House of Blues in Vegas 
__________________
Pssst Click the Button Above I once wanted to be a Gynecologist But I couldn't find an opening |
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07-09-2004
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#6 | |||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||
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Polishing the Chrome on Bishops Motorcycle
$100 for every ImLive sign-up
Join Date: Oct 2002
Location: Hell: Bowels : Level 9
Posts: 4,153
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Quote:
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