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Old 06-03-2003   #1
Dianna Vesta
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This morning I had an epiphany of sorts. I’ve been dating Jodi almost a year now. This month marks our one year anniversary. The moment we met there was an instant connection. It was sexual, spiritual and most certainly on a whole other plane then anything I had ever experienced before. Being in the adult biz as long as I have, I’ve had lots of great sexual experiences. I’ve spend most of my adult life single and to be honest I never expected to live monogamy.

I had always believed that people got together, enjoyed the ride and stayed together under false commitments. When I looked around at my friends I saw cheating, miserable people ready to kill each other. There were too many secrets, too many lies and a struggle to cohabitate. Why in heavens name would I want to be part of that shit? So I enjoyed my single Goddess life, dangling male and female slaves. My revolving doors swung in shifts. Morning coffee in bed with an orgasm, clean my bathroom, shave my legs, rub my feet & back… now get out. I thought this would be my life forever.

I believe that there’s someone for everyone and you know it the moment you look in their eyes. It extends beyond lust and passion. At least I believe this now.

I thought after a few months it would fade. I’d meet my sexual quota and I’d be set for a few months. Challenges naturally entered the relationship but the lust never faded. Even during our most heated arguments I could look at her and still want to fuck her. This morning I watched her making coffee and this flood of sensation overwhelmed me. “Damn, I’m really in love.” The thought of being with someone else doesn’t even cross my mind. Years ago this couldn’t happen. The wind blows the right way and I’m jumping on a new kinky situation.

So I figured I’d purpose an Oprano poll to see how many of you felt this way about someone or how many of you cheat on your spouses. I’d really love to hear from those brave souls who have falling in love, got married and find it impossible to stay faithful, however I realize that it’s a public venue and will settle for a vote in the poll. If you do have true love..post your love story here.
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Old 06-03-2003   #2
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sorry folks this post is partially my fault

dv and i were talking relationships this am

:P

kiss sweety

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Old 06-03-2003   #3
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Quote:
Originally posted by Forest@Jun 3 2003, 08:55 AM
sorry folks this post is partially my fault

dv and i were talking relationships this am

:P

kiss sweety

lol- I was already feeling sentimental. I asked who you were squeezing and if it was serious or not. It looked damn serious since you were with her parents!!! lol - are you settling down?

Spill the beans dude. Is it serious?

Hey Serge, this is a great thread for you and Lady Law... now after 5 months, is the honeymoon over, just getting started or what? All I know is I haven't heard hide or hair from LL ever since you two hitched. No calls, no pages.. nothing. Are you keeping her locked in a cage?? lol
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Old 06-03-2003   #4
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I really think that you need to define cheating

Personally I have only ever been in momogamous relationships for my entire life.

However - I have met dozens of people, especially since being in this biz, that are perfectly fine with having a wide open relationship.

I think it is up to the people involved, whatever they decide.

I think that if you do have the "cheat" desire you should be with a like minded partner, or no partner at all - just date people as you see fit.

I think it is much worse to lie to someone.
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Old 06-03-2003   #5
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Jeff, I am with you.... monogomy is a very unnatural state of things.

However, human beings choose it for numerous reasons.... I think Marriage is extremely important in this society, and should be held
sacred. I think people are allowed to get divorced way to easily now adays.

Of course I am a guy, so seperating sex and love is not an issue. I would feel more betrayed if my partner was spending a lot of emotiona, quality time with someone else, not giving it to me....

Not sure if this answers anything.... but my fingers just started hitting the keyboard...

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Old 06-03-2003   #6
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I agree with Jeff - cheating is lying. If you're lying to your SO, THAT'S cheating, but if you an open relationship and have sexual relationships with other, I don't consider that cheating. For instance, Bill probably shared details on his experiences with Hillary.

IMHO, someone that actually cheats on their SO is a coward - they're not brave enough to be loyal, and they're not brave enough to leave the relationship so they can play.
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Old 06-03-2003   #7
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Quote:
Originally posted by OldJeff@Jun 3 2003, 09:17 AM
I really think that you need to define cheating

Personally I have only ever been in momogamous relationships for my entire life.

However - I have met dozens of people, especially since being in this biz, that are perfectly fine with having a wide open relationship.

I think it is up to the people involved, whatever they decide.

I think that if you do have the "cheat" desire you should be with a like minded partner, or no partner at all - just date people as you see fit.

I think it is much worse to lie to someone.
Ok, cheating is lying. Cheating doesn’t always have to be about sex, right? Trust is something you need in order to know that your partner/spouse is someone who considers all things in the union and can act on your behalf.

I have no problem with open marriages. I think it’s great if two people are really into it. I have, however seen women get involved, desperately wanting love so badly that they force themselves into these situations. There are those unique couples that have unconditional love and can handle being with other people. It’s rare.

Being a very open-minded woman I can honestly say that I don’t personally know any women who would honestly admit that they enjoy being with different people when they are IN LOVE with someone. I can honestly say that any couples I do know that have been into swinging or open relationships have taken bizarre turns where one DID step out of the relationship and have an affair. Let’s keep in mind that it’s not always about sex. A man or woman will seek out a connection that enhances them. An emotional need, intimacy or a spiritual fulfillment.

I can honestly say that I’ve never expected to be in the place I am right now feeling this way. It really makes me wonder.
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Old 06-03-2003   #8
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Originally posted by Peaches@Jun 3 2003, 09:24 AM
I agree with Jeff - cheating is lying. If you're lying to your SO, THAT'S cheating, but if you an open relationship and have sexual relationships with other, I don't consider that cheating. For instance, Bill probably shared details on his experiences with Hillary.

IMHO, someone that actually cheats on their SO is a coward - they're not brave enough to be loyal, and they're not brave enough to leave the relationship so they can play.
I agree with this. It really makes me mad when a guy stays married, knowing he's involved with others & says, "I stick around for the kids" or "My wife will take everything!"

Then the truth is that he wants his cake and to eat it too.
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Old 06-03-2003   #9
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Of course I am a guy, so seperating sex and love is not an issue. I would feel more betrayed if my partner was spending a lot of emotiona, quality time with someone else, not giving it to me....
***********************************************


hahahahhahaaha,
we never discussed this but now I know why we are partners...
;-))

I once told to one of my exes:
I don't care whom you have flings with, but if you go to the theater or museums with them and not me-
I'll be REAL pissed!
;-))))
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Old 06-03-2003   #10
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Quote:
Originally posted by Dianna Vesta@Jun 3 2003, 08:43 AM
I believe that there’s someone for everyone and you know it the moment you look in their eyes.
Not me. How would that work? And ... Why the eyes?
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Old 06-03-2003   #11
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Originally posted by Colin@Jun 3 2003, 10:29 AM
And ... Why the eyes?
if you believe some (people) and you believe humans have souls it's been said that the eyes are the window to the soul

For my part I really don't know if any of that is correct


As for this thread - I'll get back to it in a few weeks
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Old 06-03-2003   #12
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Quote:
Originally posted by Serge_Oprano@Jun 3 2003, 10:08 AM
Of course I am a guy, so seperating sex and love is not an issue. I would feel more betrayed if my partner was spending a lot of emotiona, quality time with someone else, not giving it to me....
***********************************************


hahahahhahaaha,
we never discussed this but now I know why we are partners...
;-))

I once told to one of my exes:
I don't care whom you have flings with, but if you go to the theater or museums with them and not me-
I'll be REAL pissed!
;-))))
So Serge... where's Lady Law? It's like she disappeared.
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Old 06-03-2003   #13
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I'm with Colin... it's about a foot below the eyes ;-)
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Old 06-03-2003   #14
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Originally posted by Dianna Vesta+Jun 3 2003, 10:37 AM-->
QUOTE (Dianna Vesta @ Jun 3 2003, 10:37 AM)
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Old 06-03-2003   #15
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Originally posted by Timon@Jun 3 2003, 10:41 AM
I'm with Colin... it's about a foot below the eyes ;-)
lol- ok, maybe so.. for some.

Come on now... haven't you ever had a really dynamic connection where you felt it deep within. Have you ever locked eyes with someone and felt like you were the only two people in a crowded room?

Damn you don't know what you're missing.
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Old 06-03-2003   #16
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Originally posted by Dianna Vesta@Jun 3 2003, 10:52 AM
Come on now... haven't you ever had a really dynamic connection where you felt it deep within.
Yep! But she was standing with her back to me so I couldn't see her eyes ;-)
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Old 06-03-2003   #17
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DV, you might be onto something
;-)))
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Old 06-03-2003   #18
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Quote:
Originally posted by Serge_Oprano@Jun 3 2003, 10:58 AM
DV, you might be onto something
;-)))
Suprise Suprise- Ok, spill the beans and stop making me dance around this subject.
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Old 06-03-2003   #19
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Originally posted by Vick@Jun 3 2003, 10:36 AM
if you believe some (people) and you believe humans have souls it's been said that the eyes are the window to the soul
There's the problem. I don't believe in souls.
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Old 06-03-2003   #20
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Alright DV, this is an interesting topic for me. I won't go into the sordid details, but I'll give the coffee table version.

Fell madly in love 8 years ago. The serious soul type, this is the woman I want to spend the rest of my life with and will do anything for kind of love. I was surprised to say the least.

Got married, had a couple of kids. Relationship had its ups and downs. I never even considered cheating on her in any way shape or form.

She broke my heart, cheated on me, and left me. We tried to reconcile several times, and finally decided enough was enough. It was a rough couple of years. Officially divorced last month.

There is however a happy ending. I voted "I love being single and fucking around." After being seperated and enjoying time by myself, I can't imagine being in a serious relationship. I've been down that road, enjoyed it while it lasted...but doubt that I will do it again (I realize that is a normal response, but I believe it right now). No one tells me what to do, where to sleep, or how to live. It fucking rules.

I am in my prime, still young, but with good experience under my belt. I am confident, have two great kids that I adore, and have the rest of my life ahead of me. Life is grand. I have no regrets, wouldn't change a thing, and still love my ex-wife (I imagine I always will).

I also see a counselor once a week to keep my shit straight (I have for the last 5 years).
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Old 06-03-2003   #21
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T-Rav,

good post bro. Well for me I never cheated on my X-wife or old girlfriends. I like to stay faithful in a relationship, trust is very important to me.

If you wanna mess around no reason to be committed
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Old 06-03-2003   #22
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T-Rav,

I’m sorry your heart is broken. It sucks and it happens to us all. I’ve been in love at least a dozen times. Trust me when I tell you what I’m talking about is different.

If you look back on your past relationships, the serious ones that broke your heart or left you in a tail spin you’ll see that each time you fell in love again it was better. Each time you know more; learn more and you’re more able to love more deeply. That is if you don’t get burned and turn completely off, shut everyone out and take the attitude that none of them are worth it.

In my 44 years I’ve had some wonderful relationships and I’ve had some crappie ones. I’m convinced that it was all a learning process and helped me grow into the woman I am today. My capacity of love has definitely changed. In this relationship I am more tolerant, compassionate and less selfish. So in my eyes all those broken hearts gave me the tools I need to love better today.

Nothing in life is certain. If there is anything better then what I have today then OK. Today it’s the best I have but I’ll gladly welcome any type of change that can come my way. The past 4 years have been especially difficult for me. I vowed to stay single and the truth was that I just didn’t have any room inside to deal with another drama. Relationships are all about timing.

Fuck around, enjoy your freedom and have a good time. When you least expect it she’ll come waltzing into your life. ALWAYS take a chance even if it means you’ll hurt yourself. Have courage to know that it will pass and leave you even that much more a seasoned man…a man who offers a lot.

Damn I’m getting really sentimental here, huh? Lol - I think my eyes even watered a bit.

T-Rav here’s something I store on my HD that you should read and make a copy of.

"The Awakening"

A time comes in your life when you finally get it...when, in the midst of all your fears and insanity, you stop dead in your tracks and somewhere the voice inside your head cries out...ENOUGH! Enough fighting and crying and blaming and struggling to hold on.

Then, like a child quieting down after a tantrum, you blink back your tears and begin to look at the world through new eyes.

This is your awakening.

You realize it's time to stop hoping and waiting for something to change, or for happiness, safety and security to magically appear over the next horizon.

You realize that in the real world there aren't always fairy tale endings, and that any guarantee of "happily ever after" must begin with you... and in the process a sense of serenity is born of acceptance.

You awaken to the fact that you are not perfect and that not everyone will always love, appreciate or approve of who or what you are... and that's OK. They are entitled to their own views and opinions.

You learn the importance of loving and championing yourself... and in the process a sense of new found confidence is born of self-approval.

You stop complaining and blaming other people for the things they did to you - or didn't do for you - and you learn that the only thing you can really count on is the unexpected.

You learn that people don't always say what they mean or mean what they say and that not everyone will always be there for you and that everything isn't always about you.

So, you learn to stand on your own and to take care of yourself... and in the process a sense of safety and security is born of self-reliance.

You stop judging and pointing fingers and you begin to accept people as they are and to overlook their shortcomings and human frailties... and in the process a sense of peace and contentment is born of forgiveness.

You learn to open up to new worlds and different points of view. You begin reassessing and redefining who you are and what you really stand for.

You learn the difference between wanting and needing and you begin to discard the doctrines and values you've outgrown, or should never have bought into to begin with.

You learn that there is power and glory in creating and contributing and you stop maneuvering through life merely as a "consumer" looking for your next fix.

You learn that principles such as honesty and integrity are not the outdated ideals of a bygone era, but the mortar that holds together the foundation upon which you must build a life.

You learn that you don't know everything, it's not your job to save the world and that you can't teach a pig to sing. You learn that the only cross to bear is the one you choose to carry and that martyrs get burned at the stake.

Then you learn about love. You learn to look at relationships as they really are and not as you would have them be. You learn that alone does not mean lonely.

You stop trying to control people, situations and outcomes. You learn to distinguish between guilt and responsibility and the importance of setting boundaries and learning to say NO.

You also stop working so hard at putting your feelings aside, smoothing things over and ignoring your needs.

You learn that your body really is your temple. You begin to care for it and treat it with respect. You begin to eat a balanced diet, drink more water, and take more time to exercise.

You learn that being tired fuels doubt, fear, and uncertainty and so you take more time to rest. And, just as food fuels the body, laughter fuels our soul. So you take more time to laugh and to play.

You learn that, for the most part, you get in life what you believe you deserve, and that much of life truly is a self-fulfilling prophecy.

You learn that anything worth achieving is worth working for and that wishing for something to happen is different than working toward making it happen.

More importantly, you learn that in order to achieve success you need direction, discipline and perseverance. You also learn that no one can do it all alone, and that it's OK to risk asking for help.


You learn the only thing you must truly fear is fear itself. You learn to step right into and through your fears because you know that whatever happens you can handle it and to give in to fear is to give away the right to live life on your own terms.

You learn to fight for your life and not to squander it living under a cloud of impending doom.

You learn that life isn't always fair, you don't always get what you think you deserve and that sometimes bad things happen to unsuspecting, good people... and you learn not to always take it personally.

You learn that nobody's punishing you and everything isn't always somebody's fault. It's just life happening. You learn to admit when you are wrong and to build bridges instead of walls.

You learn that negative feelings such as anger, envy and resentment must be understood and redirected or they will suffocate the life out of you and poison the universe that surrounds you.

You learn to be thankful and to take comfort in many of the simple things we take for granted, things that millions of people upon the earth can only dream about: a full refrigerator, clean running water, a soft warm bed, a long hot shower.

Then, you begin to take responsibility for yourself by yourself and you make yourself a promise to never betray yourself and to never, ever settle for less than your heart's desire.

You make it a point to keep smiling, to keep trusting, and to stay open to every wonderful possibility.

You hang a wind chime outside your window so you can listen to the wind.

Finally, with courage in your heart, you take a stand, you take a deep breath, and you begin to design the life you want to live as best you can.
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Old 06-03-2003   #23
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I’ve been with my hubby for 14 years and married for 5 of them (childhood sweethearts) and I can truly say he’s not only a loving husband but my best friend too.
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Old 06-03-2003   #24
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Quote:
Originally posted by Serge_Oprano+Jun 3 2003, 10:49 AM-->
QUOTE (Serge_Oprano @ Jun 3 2003, 10:49 AM)
Quote:
Originally posted by -Dianna Vesta@Jun 3 2003, 10:37 AM
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Old 06-03-2003   #25
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Quote:
Originally posted by Dianna Vesta+Jun 3 2003, 12:29 PM-->
QUOTE (Dianna Vesta @ Jun 3 2003, 12:29 PM)
Quote:
Originally posted by -Serge_Oprano@Jun 3 2003, 10:49 AM
Quote:
Originally posted by -Dianna Vesta@Jun 3 2003, 10:37 AM
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Old 06-03-2003   #26
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Quote:
Originally posted by Serge_Oprano+Jun 3 2003, 12:51 PM-->
QUOTE (Serge_Oprano @ Jun 3 2003, 12:51 PM)
Quote:
Originally posted by -Dianna Vesta@Jun 3 2003, 12:29 PM
Quote:
Originally posted by -Serge_Oprano@Jun 3 2003, 10:49 AM
Quote:
Originally posted by -Dianna Vesta@Jun 3 2003, 10:37 AM
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Old 06-03-2003   #27
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Hopefully you'll know who the muther is when the kid spits out. If it's a KID then I guess you'll know. lol

So here's goes the dance some more.

Please give her my best. I think about her often and I'm wondering why I haven't heard from her in so long.
**********************************************

DV,
I give her your best,
she is doing very strange things lately..
she cooks, cleans, shops, I am VERY puzzled myself!
;_)))
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Old 06-03-2003   #28
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guess which one i chose
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Old 06-03-2003   #29
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I love being single and fucking around.

I raised my "daughter" well
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Old 06-03-2003   #30
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except the fucking around part is missing ... but i'm working on that
:P
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Old 06-03-2003   #31
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Wondering how Brad would answer if he still did boards.
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Old 06-03-2003   #32
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Jen and I have been married for 3 years coming up on June 17 )

Neither of us had ever been married before (I am 47, Jen is 21+ )

We originally met back in 1986 or 1987, went out for a while and then for various reasons, went our seperate ways....

I realized at some point after she had left back then that I had blown it... That she was THE ONE and I had been too fucking stupid and clueless to realize it.....

Back at that point, I tried to find her, but she had moved from Kansas City and I could not pick up a line on her....

Enter the internet....

Back in 98, I started looking for her a bit on the net. I knew what her interests had been and started searching through various Newsgroups etc to see if she was posting somewhere... I came up with a possible and went ahead and wrote a stupid sounding email... Turned out that I had lucked out and it was her Rest is history, we got married on a canoe trip in 2000, she moved up here (we kept her condo in Fort Myers though), we bought our house , etc....

I cannot speak for her, but I am wildly in love with this woman... There is really nothing wrong that she could do that I would not be able to forgive. She makes live worth living.... Literally.



(sorry for getting mushy.... She's great in bed too)
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Old 06-03-2003   #33
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Originally posted by sarettah@Jun 3 2003, 07:29 PM
Jen and I have been married for 3 years coming up on June 17 )

Neither of us had ever been married before (I am 47, Jen is 21+ )

We originally met back in 1986 or 1987, went out for a while and then for various reasons, went our seperate ways....
I hope she's a lot "+" 21 or else you were dating her the first time when she was around 4 or 5.
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Old 06-03-2003   #34
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« Previous Thread | Next Thread »
Originally posted by Peaches+Jun 3 2003, 07:32 PM-->
QUOTE (Peaches @ Jun 3 2003, 07:32 PM)
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Old 06-03-2003   #35
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Originally posted by sarettah@Jun 3 2003, 06:29 PM


(sorry for getting mushy.... She's great in bed too)
pictures, please!
;-))))
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Old 06-03-2003   #36
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Old 06-03-2003   #37
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Originally posted by sarettah@Jun 3 2003, 09:09 PM
Very Nice!

Edit - lots of places to hide in the bushes with a telephoto lens - not that I'd ever do that



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Old 06-04-2003   #38
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Damn, I don't know where you live but it's gotta get fucking hot in that room! It looks like a greenhouse!



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Old 06-04-2003   #39
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Why am I the only one who posted "I'd cheat if the right sitution presented itself."

Hypocrits!! Every man would cheat if the situation was right enough!!
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Old 06-04-2003   #40
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Originally posted by Timon@Jun 3 2003, 11:44 PM
Why am I the only one who posted "I'd cheat if the right sitution presented itself."

Hypocrits!! Every man would cheat if the situation was right enough!!
A few years ago I would have agreed with you....

But then I got castrate... er, I mean married
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Old 06-04-2003   #41
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So if you would be on a holiday by yourself on the other side of the world and you met Jenna Jameson on the elevator while you're going up to your hotel room at 2am, drunk, and she would start hitting on you, would you tell her to fuck off or suck you off?
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Old 06-04-2003   #42
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Quote:
Originally posted by Timon@Jun 3 2003, 08:44 PM
Why am I the only one who posted "I'd cheat if the right sitution presented itself."

Hypocrits!! Every man would cheat if the situation was right enough!!
No Timon. Not every man.
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Old 06-04-2003   #43
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Originally posted by Anthony@Jun 3 2003, 11:53 PM

No Timon. Not every man.
Maybe not every male but every MAN sure would!!
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Old 06-04-2003   #44
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Quote:
Originally posted by Timon@Jun 3 2003, 08:53 PM
So if you would be on a holiday by yourself on the other side of the world and you met Jenna Jameson on the elevator while you're going up to your hotel room at 2am, drunk, and she would start hitting on you, would you tell her to fuck off or suck you off?
Timon,

Depends if you were trading "Up" or "Down". =o)

My girl and I have gone through alot together, and frankly, she's pretty hot. Only an insecure individual would be willing to throw everything away for pussy that might or might not live up to the fantasy.

I won't even say what she said when she read my post. Something to do about being tighter and doing her excercises. =o)
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Old 06-04-2003   #45
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No an insecure individual would be too scared to get caught ;-)

But I understand you can't speak freely with the misses peeking over your shoulder so I'll forgive your lameness for now ;-))
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Old 06-04-2003   #46
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Quote:
Originally posted by Timon@Jun 3 2003, 11:53 PM
So if you would be on a holiday by yourself on the other side of the world and you met Jenna Jameson on the elevator while you're going up to your hotel room at 2am, drunk, and she would start hitting on you, would you tell her to fuck off or suck you off?
Am I drunk, or is she drunk ?
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Old 06-04-2003   #47
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Why would she need to be drunk to get arroused by a handsome stud like you.... YOU are the drunk one!
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Old 06-04-2003   #48
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Quote:
Originally posted by Timon@Jun 3 2003, 09:02 PM
No an insecure individual would be too scared to get caught ;-)

But I understand you can't speak freely with the misses peeking over your shoulder so I'll forgive your lameness for now ;-))
Even if she were not over my shoulder the answer would be the same.

Do you think they will revoke my membership to the secret Men club for this?
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Old 06-04-2003   #49
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Not to worry, I believe they wouldn't have let you in in the first place ;-))
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Old 06-04-2003   #50
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Originally posted by Dravyk@Jun 3 2003, 03:11 PM
Wondering how Brad would answer if he still did boards.
He'd have to look at his relationship calendar.

I did take cj's choice tho ))))
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