Writing contest results

grimm · 06-07-2005

---------------------
> This year's winners of the Bulwer-Lytton writing contest. All who enjoy
> good literature should get a chuckle, after they cringe from the
> following.
>
>
> For you lovers of good writing, these are the 10 winners of this year's
> Bulwer-Lytton contest --AKA Dark and Stormy Night Contest--run by the
> English Dept. of San Jose State University, wherein one writes only the
> first line of a bad novel.
>
>
> (10) "As a scientist, Throckmorton knew that if he were ever to break
> wind in the echo chamber, he would never hear the end of it."
>
>
> (9) "Just beyond the Narrows, the river widens."
>
>
> (8) "With a curvaceous figure that Venus would have envied, a tanned,
> unblemished oval face framed with lustrous thick brown hair, deep
> azure-blue eyes fringed with long black lashes, perfect teeth that vied
> for competition, and a small straight nose, Marilee had a beauty that
> defied description."
>
>
> (7) "Andre, a simple peasant, had only one thing on his mind as he crept
> along the East wall: 'Andre creep... Andre creep... Andre creep.'"
>
>
> (6) "Stanislaus Smedley, a man always on the cutting edge of narcissism,
> was about to give his body and soul to a back alley sex-change surgeon to
> become the woman he loved."
>
>
> (5) "Although Sarah had an abnormal fear of mice, it did not keep her
> from eeking out a living at a local pet store."
>
>
> (4) "Stanley looked quite bored and somewhat detached, but then penguins
> often do."
>
>
> (3) "Like an overripe beefsteak tomato rimmed with cottage cheese, the
> corpulent remains of Santa Claus lay dead on the hotel floor."
>
>
> (2) "Mike Hardware was the kind of private eye who didn't know the
> meaning of the word 'fear'; a man who could laugh in the face of danger
> and spit in the eye of death -- in short, a moron with suicidal
> tendencies."
>
>
> AND THE WINNER IS.....
>
>
> (1) "The sun oozed over the horizon, shoved aside darkness, crept along
> the greensward, and, with sickly fingers, pushed through the castle
> window, revealing the pillaged princess, hand at throat, crown asunder,
> in frenzied horror at the sated, sodden amphibian lying beside her,
> disbelieving the magnitude of the frog's deception, screaming madly, 'You
> lied!"

06-07-2005	#1
grimm Cramming 3 people in a Room to Attend Show Stop Lurking and start posting! Register now! Join Date: Dec 2002 Location: New Orleans, LA Posts: 5,306	--------------------- > This year's winners of the Bulwer-Lytton writing contest. All who enjoy > good literature should get a chuckle, after they cringe from the > following. > > > For you lovers of good writing, these are the 10 winners of this year's > Bulwer-Lytton contest --AKA Dark and Stormy Night Contest--run by the > English Dept. of San Jose State University, wherein one writes only the > first line of a bad novel. > > > (10) "As a scientist, Throckmorton knew that if he were ever to break > wind in the echo chamber, he would never hear the end of it." > > > (9) "Just beyond the Narrows, the river widens." > > > (8) "With a curvaceous figure that Venus would have envied, a tanned, > unblemished oval face framed with lustrous thick brown hair, deep > azure-blue eyes fringed with long black lashes, perfect teeth that vied > for competition, and a small straight nose, Marilee had a beauty that > defied description." > > > (7) "Andre, a simple peasant, had only one thing on his mind as he crept > along the East wall: 'Andre creep... Andre creep... Andre creep.'" > > > (6) "Stanislaus Smedley, a man always on the cutting edge of narcissism, > was about to give his body and soul to a back alley sex-change surgeon to > become the woman he loved." > > > (5) "Although Sarah had an abnormal fear of mice, it did not keep her > from eeking out a living at a local pet store." > > > (4) "Stanley looked quite bored and somewhat detached, but then penguins > often do." > > > (3) "Like an overripe beefsteak tomato rimmed with cottage cheese, the > corpulent remains of Santa Claus lay dead on the hotel floor." > > > (2) "Mike Hardware was the kind of private eye who didn't know the > meaning of the word 'fear'; a man who could laugh in the face of danger > and spit in the eye of death -- in short, a moron with suicidal > tendencies." > > > AND THE WINNER IS..... > > > (1) "The sun oozed over the horizon, shoved aside darkness, crept along > the greensward, and, with sickly fingers, pushed through the castle > window, revealing the pillaged princess, hand at throat, crown asunder, > in frenzied horror at the sated, sodden amphibian lying beside her, > disbelieving the magnitude of the frog's deception, screaming madly, 'You > lied!" __________________ Think horses, not zebras.