Where Has Ulfie Been?

ulfie · 12-08-2003

For people that don’t like long stories, plain and simple, I’ve been in alcohol rehab for the past week so you can quit reading now if you want.

I debated long and hard whether I should post this on a public message board but I think it will be good therapy. I’ve been trying to quit drinking for almost a year. I would quit for a few days then go right back to drinking again. For a long time I’ve been what they call a “functional” alcoholic meaning I could work at a high level during the day and then drink all night. Well, lately that all changed and I got to the point where I would start drinking the moment I woke up and drink until I went to bed. This had horrible results on my productivity, as I wasn’t getting things done very quickly nor very well.

What put me over the top is that one night about 2 weeks ago I decided to go get a pizza at around midnight. The nearest place is about 10 miles away and they don’t deliver to where I live. So completely drunk I hopped in the car and drove in the poring rain to get the pizza. On the way back unbeknownst to me the rain had turned to freezing rain. Well, I went around a bend and spun the car what seemed like 20 times. Somehow I managed not to hit anything and kept the car on the road. So I drove the rest of the way home more carefully and immediately chugged 2 beers when I walked in the door. I proceeded to eat my pizza and drink a bunch more beer.

The next day I woke up face down on the living room floor with a mouthful of pizza. I must have passed out while I was eating although I’m not really sure what happened. Since I had nearly killed myself twice in a few hours I figured it was time to do something. I figured it wouldn’t be so bad, I would take the laptop and get some work done at the same time.

Wrong. No laptops allowed. No cell phones. Basically nothing allowed but clothes, deodorant, toothpaste, and a toothbrush. They actually check your toothpaste to make sure nothing is in it. Believe me this was the most humiliating, humbling, and terrifying experience of my life. I wasn’t thinking very clearly when I gave up my cell phone because all my numbers are programmed into it. I asked my cousin to post on Oprano and PC but he wouldn’t do it because he’s developed a morality complex and what I do. (At least he made my football picks for me.)

Well, this has been a long tale but I wanted to the people I’ve let down that I’m back to work and will be working harder than ever now. This time I’ll be doing it sober as well. I still have a long road ahead but at least I’m not trying to do it alone this time. I think I have the proper motivation now since I desperately need to start making some steady income since I’ve screwed so many things up the past few months.

If you’ve read this far thanks for listening since I deeply appreciate the friends I have here.

12-08-2003	#1
ulfie Members Join Date: Oct 2002 Posts: 1,143	For people that don’t like long stories, plain and simple, I’ve been in alcohol rehab for the past week so you can quit reading now if you want. I debated long and hard whether I should post this on a public message board but I think it will be good therapy. I’ve been trying to quit drinking for almost a year. I would quit for a few days then go right back to drinking again. For a long time I’ve been what they call a “functional” alcoholic meaning I could work at a high level during the day and then drink all night. Well, lately that all changed and I got to the point where I would start drinking the moment I woke up and drink until I went to bed. This had horrible results on my productivity, as I wasn’t getting things done very quickly nor very well. What put me over the top is that one night about 2 weeks ago I decided to go get a pizza at around midnight. The nearest place is about 10 miles away and they don’t deliver to where I live. So completely drunk I hopped in the car and drove in the poring rain to get the pizza. On the way back unbeknownst to me the rain had turned to freezing rain. Well, I went around a bend and spun the car what seemed like 20 times. Somehow I managed not to hit anything and kept the car on the road. So I drove the rest of the way home more carefully and immediately chugged 2 beers when I walked in the door. I proceeded to eat my pizza and drink a bunch more beer. The next day I woke up face down on the living room floor with a mouthful of pizza. I must have passed out while I was eating although I’m not really sure what happened. Since I had nearly killed myself twice in a few hours I figured it was time to do something. I figured it wouldn’t be so bad, I would take the laptop and get some work done at the same time. Wrong. No laptops allowed. No cell phones. Basically nothing allowed but clothes, deodorant, toothpaste, and a toothbrush. They actually check your toothpaste to make sure nothing is in it. Believe me this was the most humiliating, humbling, and terrifying experience of my life. I wasn’t thinking very clearly when I gave up my cell phone because all my numbers are programmed into it. I asked my cousin to post on Oprano and PC but he wouldn’t do it because he’s developed a morality complex and what I do. (At least he made my football picks for me.) Well, this has been a long tale but I wanted to the people I’ve let down that I’m back to work and will be working harder than ever now. This time I’ll be doing it sober as well. I still have a long road ahead but at least I’m not trying to do it alone this time. I think I have the proper motivation now since I desperately need to start making some steady income since I’ve screwed so many things up the past few months. If you’ve read this far thanks for listening since I deeply appreciate the friends I have here. __________________