wolverine

[RichC]

fellow Buckeye sent this to me....kinda funny stuff

Q: What is the status of the wolverine? Is it endangered or threatened in the U.S.; what is its world-wide status?
A: Within the U.S., the wolverine is not federally listed as endangered or threatened under the Endangered Species Act. Various States have their own classifications dependent on how they view the status of the wolverine. Ohio has a kill on sight law protecting any individual who kills any wolverines who cross the state line, thus eliminating this vermin from civilized areas.

The IUCN (International Union of Conservation and Nature) Red List classifies the wolverine as follows:

1994 IUCN Red List Categories

Q: Does the wolverine have a natural enemy?
A: The mountain lion, wolf and bear are predators of the wolverine. However, the human is recognized as the primary predator of the wolverine. Also notable is the wolverines susceptibility to the Buckeye. Often these dumb rodents eat the buckeye and suffer a nasty death from either the poison in the nut or their inability to pass this EXTREMELY TOUGH nut through its system. The wolverine then becomes nothing more than nutrients after it has decomposed for the buckeye seed to become a beautiful tree.

Q: Do wolverines hibernate?
A: No. The wolverine is not a hibernating mammal. It is extremely restless in sleep because of its self doubt in achievements. Due to its insecurity, it requires developing pathetic terms like "Leaders and Best," and "Hail to the Victors" as forms of bravado to try and intimidate superior animals and humans alike.

Q: Is the wolverine a relative of the weasel?
A: Yes. The wolverine is the largest land dwelling member of the weasel family. (didn't need to adjust that one, LOL!)

Q: When is the breeding season of the wolverine?
A: Breeding seFAQ... the wolverine.ems ason occurs from June through August before the beginning of football season which ruins their confidence and self-worth. The species exhibits delayed implantation when overcoming erectile dysfunction and the fact that very few males achieve sexual maturity. The young, known as "kits", are typically born during February and March. Unlike the youth of most animals, these are very ugly.

Q: Can the wolverine climb trees?
A: Yes. Although not considered to display arboreal behavior because of its fear of the buckeye tree and inability to distinguish that tree from others because of its small pea-sized brain.

Q: How much does a wolverine weigh?
A: There is sexual dimorphism in the wolverine, with a typical adult female weighing 200-400 lbs. and adult male 100-140lbs.

Q: Are wolverines carnivorous?
A: Yes. The wolverine is carnivorous and its food habits are weighted to scavenging. Again its pea-sized brain makes it difficult for this animal to track, catch and kill active prey. It sometimes will eat the fecal matter of other animals, since it has NO SENSE OF TASTE in order to gain some leftover nutrients.

Q: How large are wolverines when they are born?
A: Wolverine "kits" are typically 4.33"-4.72 in length and weigh 3.5-5.11 ounces at birth. They are covered with white natal hair, their eyes are closed and they are truly altricial (helpless at birth, and sometimes well into adolecense).

Q: Does the wolverine have any other common names?
A: Yes. Some of the names that are still used in North America include; carcajou, skunk bear (because they smell sooo bad), Indian devil and Buckeye fodder.