How North Koreans Would Fight Terrorists

Dravyk · 11-16-2005

The loony fruit doesn't fall far from the tree.

Van Damme wanted to fight terrorism

Belgian movie hardman Jean-Claude Van Damme is being head-hunted to solve the world's terrorism problems, by North Korean leader Kim Jong Il's son and potential successor.

Jong Il's 24-year-old heir Kim Jong Chol has reportedly been dismissed by his father as "too girlish" to rule the country, but is a leading contender as his elder brother is currently in self-imposed exile in Europe.

And North Koreans will be interested in Kim Jong Chol's defence and foreign policies - which he proposes should be lead by the 'Muscles From Brussels'.

Inspired by Van Damme's terrorist-busting performance in 1995 film 'Sudden Death', he says: "I'd not allow weapons or atom bombs any more. I'd destroy all terrorists with the Hollywood star Jean-Claude Van Damme."

From: http://breakingnews.iol.ie/entertainment/story.asp?j=162694876&p=y6z69558z

helix · 11-16-2005

They must grow some awesome ganja in N. Korea. That guy is wacked. He is a loose cannon. I will put him on the list

Dravyk · 11-16-2005

Quote:

Originally Posted by helix

They must grow some awesome ganja in N. Korea. That guy is wacked. He is a loose cannon. I will put him on the list

I like to think of them both as Kim Impossible.

Newton · 11-17-2005

Barney would have more impact

Trev · 11-17-2005

Quote:

Originally Posted by Newton

Barney would have more impact

That purple shit is frightening, well if you're under the age of 10 he's not...

Jeremy · 11-17-2005

LOL - Team America got it bang on then.

selena · 11-17-2005

Ummmm.....

I can't post. I'm laughing too hard.

Dravyk · 11-17-2005

Quote:

Originally Posted by Jeremy

LOL - Team America got it bang on then.

They sure did!

MorganGrayson · 11-17-2005

These Fruit Loops have the bomb, don't they? Or are they among the list of nations doing the "bomb? what bomb? we don't need no stinking bombs...really!"

He's really wrapped up that "too girlish" question with an obvious crush on that idiot that does the splits.

I frigging HATE that guy's movies. Every single one of them has the "he gets the shit kicked out of him and bleeds all over the place" scene...and then...suddenly...wow...."super guy."

I like "no reality involved" action films, where the "super guy" starts out a "super guy" and stays that way and just whacks the bad guys left, right and sideways.

I also like old movies. Once in a movie Humphrey Bogart punched a guy once, knocked him out, and dumped the guy on a couch. The man was out cold for 20 minutes of the movie. (I timed it.)

Any Opranauts ever taken a punch in the face for real? What happens to real people when they get punched like that? (Yes, yes, I've drifted OT, but let's face it, thinking of what's out there in the real world in charge of nations can turn a stomach and kill brain cells.)

Nickatilynx · 11-17-2005

My Jean Claude Van damme story....(some of you know it)

I'm staying at a 5 star hotel resort in Fl and on check in they tell me I can't have the VIP suite cause as it is occupied. No worries.

Later that night , the staff know me well , and the room service waiter tells me Van Damme is in it.

Well next day I'm told bellman are coming to grab our stuff and we are transferring to the VIP suite which has become "suddenly" available.

Later that night about 2am..I get a phone call. It goes like this..

Girl voice:Jon (well thats what it sounds like...and she sounded hot!!!!!)
Me: Yes?
Girl: What are you doing
Me: Who is this? I'm asleep...
Girl: Stop speaking in that fucking stupid accent.. ( thinks...heather possibly? LOL)
Me: What!?!? Who is this..
Girl: You know full well who this fucking is..
Me: (dawning on me...) Are you looking for Mr.Van Damme?
Girl:...
Me: He has left the hotel.

To cut a rambling story short.....

I found out what happened.

He was having parties that would have made the staff at Whitcon circa 1999 -2002 blush and one of his party goosed one of the room service waitresses , so they kicked him out..

Nickatilynx · 11-17-2005

Oh..a day or two later he was on Good Morning America with his newborn baby

MorganGrayson · 11-17-2005

Quote:

Originally Posted by Nickatilynx

Oh..a day or two later he was on Good Morning America with his newborn baby

Permission to projectile vomit, Sir.

I've always hated that guy...now I can hate him even more.

(Jean Claude Van Damme, not Nick, for those of you who are skimming.)

Nickatilynx · 11-17-2005

Quote:

Originally Posted by MorganGrayson

Permission to projectile vomit, Sir.

I've always hated that guy...now I can hate him even more.

(Jean Claude Van Damme, not Nick, for those of you who are skimming.)

yeah Mrs.Ilynx was not impressed...in the least.

Interesting side story....the anti jean

"Arnold" used to also visit that resort ( pre govenor days) he on the other hand was at the pool with his kids. No guards. Answering questions , having his pic taken with other guests. Real nice guy according to all the staff.They said he does that everytime he visited.His thinking was after the first 30 mins then everyone leaves him alone to just enjoy the day with his kids.

MorganGrayson · 11-17-2005

Quote:

Originally Posted by Nickatilynx

yeah Mrs.Ilynx was not impressed...in the least.

Interesting side story....the anti jean

"Arnold" used to also visit that resort ( pre govenor days) he on the other hand was at the pool with his kids. No guards. Answering questions , having his pic taken with other guests. Real nice guy according to all the staff.They said he does that everytime he visited.His thinking was after the first 30 mins then everyone leaves him alone to just enjoy the day with his kids.

OK, this stays between us....
I *love* "Ahh-nold" movies. He's one of those "super guy" heroes in action films that just kills the bad guys without having to go through the lengthy "we'll have a fistfight, I'll bleed all over...and then...suddenly...." He starts out kicking ass and it just gets better.

I'm trying to remember the name of the movie with Rae Dawn Chong where he dropped the guy off the cliff and delivers the one liner "I lied."

His term as governor in California is going through a difficult "oh, shit...the guy actually *meant* what he said!" period.

PornoDoggy · 11-17-2005

You woulda thought Californians would have learned about actor-governors after the last one ...

I say lock the terrorists up in a room with nothing but a big-screen and force them to watch his movies over and over and over again. This administration is capable of it - they want to discard all restrictions on terror.

MorganGrayson · 11-17-2005

Quote:

Originally Posted by PornoDoggy

You woulda thought Californians would have learned about actor-governors after the last one ...

I say lock the terrorists up in a room with nothing but a big-screen and force them to watch his movies over and over and over again. This administration is capable of it - they want to discard all restrictions on terror.

I don't know.

Forcing them to watch movies where shit blows up might not be the best idea. The terrorists always lose in the end, but these people have already more than demonstrated that they're not long-term thinkers.

11-16-2005	#1
Dravyk Easy Like Sunday Morning Want to see your own Advertising Here! Join Date: Oct 2002 Location: Behind a couch, somewhere in Philly Posts: 7,628	How North Koreans Would Fight Terrorists The loony fruit doesn't fall far from the tree. Van Damme wanted to fight terrorism Belgian movie hardman Jean-Claude Van Damme is being head-hunted to solve the world's terrorism problems, by North Korean leader Kim Jong Il's son and potential successor. Jong Il's 24-year-old heir Kim Jong Chol has reportedly been dismissed by his father as "too girlish" to rule the country, but is a leading contender as his elder brother is currently in self-imposed exile in Europe. And North Koreans will be interested in Kim Jong Chol's defence and foreign policies - which he proposes should be lead by the 'Muscles From Brussels'. Inspired by Van Damme's terrorist-busting performance in 1995 film 'Sudden Death', he says: "I'd not allow weapons or atom bombs any more. I'd destroy all terrorists with the Hollywood star Jean-Claude Van Damme." From: http://breakingnews.iol.ie/entertainment/story.asp?j=162694876&p=y6z69558z __________________ All Of 'Em Mainstream Webmasters New: WebmasterConventions.com

11-16-2005	#2
helix Jebus loves me Join Date: Dec 2004 Location: 40 Oz to Freedom Posts: 857	Re: How North Koreans Would Fight Terrorists They must grow some awesome ganja in N. Korea. That guy is wacked. He is a loose cannon. I will put him on the list __________________ Sigless

11-17-2005	#4
Newton It's always business, never personal! The POWER of radio Oprano Radio Join Date: Aug 2004 Location: On a golf course Posts: 4,916	Re: How North Koreans Would Fight Terrorists Barney would have more impact __________________ Poser Bush in a mix-up over his hi-tech gizmo - ICLOD

11-17-2005	#6
Jeremy Members Join Date: Apr 2005 Posts: 157	Re: How North Koreans Would Fight Terrorists LOL - Team America got it bang on then.

11-17-2005	#7
selena plankton in the sea of porn Join Date: Sep 2005 Location: On The Edge Posts: 509	Re: How North Koreans Would Fight Terrorists Ummmm..... I can't post. I'm laughing too hard. __________________ Affiliate Manager JaYMan Cash That One Program ICQ 273551440

11-17-2005	#9
MorganGrayson None $100 for every ImLive sign-up Join Date: Apr 2004 Posts: 4,321	Re: How North Koreans Would Fight Terrorists These Fruit Loops have the bomb, don't they? Or are they among the list of nations doing the "bomb? what bomb? we don't need no stinking bombs...really!" He's really wrapped up that "too girlish" question with an obvious crush on that idiot that does the splits. I frigging HATE that guy's movies. Every single one of them has the "he gets the shit kicked out of him and bleeds all over the place" scene...and then...suddenly...wow...."super guy." I like "no reality involved" action films, where the "super guy" starts out a "super guy" and stays that way and just whacks the bad guys left, right and sideways. I also like old movies. Once in a movie Humphrey Bogart punched a guy once, knocked him out, and dumped the guy on a couch. The man was out cold for 20 minutes of the movie. (I timed it.) Any Opranauts ever taken a punch in the face for real? What happens to real people when they get punched like that? (Yes, yes, I've drifted OT, but let's face it, thinking of what's out there in the real world in charge of nations can turn a stomach and kill brain cells.)

11-17-2005	#10
Nickatilynx Banned Want to see your own Advertising Here! Join Date: Oct 2002 Location: Vancouver Canada Posts: 15,115	Re: How North Koreans Would Fight Terrorists My Jean Claude Van damme story....(some of you know it) I'm staying at a 5 star hotel resort in Fl and on check in they tell me I can't have the VIP suite cause as it is occupied. No worries. Later that night , the staff know me well , and the room service waiter tells me Van Damme is in it. Well next day I'm told bellman are coming to grab our stuff and we are transferring to the VIP suite which has become "suddenly" available. Later that night about 2am..I get a phone call. It goes like this.. Girl voice:Jon (well thats what it sounds like...and she sounded hot!!!!!) Me: Yes? Girl: What are you doing Me: Who is this? I'm asleep... Girl: Stop speaking in that fucking stupid accent.. ( thinks...heather possibly? LOL) Me: What!?!? Who is this.. Girl: You know full well who this fucking is.. Me: (dawning on me...) Are you looking for Mr.Van Damme? Girl:... Me: He has left the hotel. To cut a rambling story short..... I found out what happened. He was having parties that would have made the staff at Whitcon circa 1999 -2002 blush and one of his party goosed one of the room service waitresses , so they kicked him out..

11-17-2005	#15
PornoDoggy Cramming 3 people in a Room to Attend Show Want to see your own Advertising Here! Join Date: Oct 2002 Location: Amid the Cornfields of Illinois Posts: 5,366	Re: How North Koreans Would Fight Terrorists You woulda thought Californians would have learned about actor-governors after the last one ... I say lock the terrorists up in a room with nothing but a big-screen and force them to watch his movies over and over and over again. This administration is capable of it - they want to discard all restrictions on terror. __________________ SEX STORY TEXT Exotic Material for Adult Websites Available for part time (project or ongoing) work ...