France Surrenders!

JR · 02-09-2003

"France Surrenders During Training Exercise

PARIS - France held secret military exercises in order to better prepare for an eventual surrender should they ever be attacked, say officials in the government.

The training exercises, which began within days after the September 11 terrorist attacks in America, focused on a coordinated effort between the French government and the military in case they are confronted by the slightest act of aggression by a foreign country.

"The policy of of an immediate and unconditional surrender is not left up to chance as many would believe," says Jean-Pierre Le Carche, deputy assistant to the French U.N Envoy. "Every aspect is methodically planned so as not to disrupt the wonderful French way of life."

The first step, according to Le Carche, is "to apologize profusely to the angry country and then act like we didn't know anyone was mad at us. We say things like 'who us? What? We didn't do anything wrong. We're on your side.'"

If the aggression continues, the government is instructed to immediately blame another country or a minority for the hatred they have brought upon the true French people.

"Most likely we would blame everything on either the United States, the Jews or both. Preferably both. Then we begin deporting people. Of course, who will be deported depends on the country asking. If it's the Jews, that's easy. We just hand them a list of addresses."

The third measure is invoked only if previous efforts have failed to produced results.

"Our troops are told to immediately lay on the ground like sheep. This momentarily confuses the enemy while our leaders quickly flee to Switzerland."

According to former French General Luc-Paul Didier, France has learned from its mistakes of the past, particularly during the German invasion of World War II.

"We got it all screwed up in those other wars by laying down like sheep first and then deporting people second," Didier said. "If we would have just planned a little better, we might have actually shared a beer with the German troops instead of prostituting our wives for a warm baguette."

Sword · 02-09-2003

RawAlex · 02-09-2003

Got more things to worry about... like north dakota!

http://www.theonion.com/onion3904/north_dakota.html

Alex

Mike AI · 02-09-2003

HAHA good stuff JR!!

How quickly people forget history!

Mutt · 02-09-2003

I think there'd be a higher approval rating for Bush bombing France than Iraq.

02-09-2003

more French assholery:

France armed and supported the genocidaires in Rwanda. The Tutsi who were murdered en mass by machete and grenade were anglophone.
When the french-speaking Hutu genocidaires started losing ground, France sent troops to Rwanda to implement a 'cease-fire' which allowed the Hutus to retreat to the Congo.

Meanwhile they are against getting rid of Saddam? WTF

http://www.cnn.com/WORLD/africa/9805/05/rwanda.france/
And
We Wish to Inform You That Tomorrow We Will be Killed With Our Families: Stories from Rwanda (great book)

Great anti-france movie:
The Battle of Algiers.
http://us.imdb.com/Title?0058946

02-09-2003	#1
JR Members The global leader in pay-per-view AEBN Join Date: Jan 2003 Location: in my chair Posts: 3,320	"France Surrenders During Training Exercise PARIS - France held secret military exercises in order to better prepare for an eventual surrender should they ever be attacked, say officials in the government. The training exercises, which began within days after the September 11 terrorist attacks in America, focused on a coordinated effort between the French government and the military in case they are confronted by the slightest act of aggression by a foreign country. "The policy of of an immediate and unconditional surrender is not left up to chance as many would believe," says Jean-Pierre Le Carche, deputy assistant to the French U.N Envoy. "Every aspect is methodically planned so as not to disrupt the wonderful French way of life." The first step, according to Le Carche, is "to apologize profusely to the angry country and then act like we didn't know anyone was mad at us. We say things like 'who us? What? We didn't do anything wrong. We're on your side.'" If the aggression continues, the government is instructed to immediately blame another country or a minority for the hatred they have brought upon the true French people. "Most likely we would blame everything on either the United States, the Jews or both. Preferably both. Then we begin deporting people. Of course, who will be deported depends on the country asking. If it's the Jews, that's easy. We just hand them a list of addresses." The third measure is invoked only if previous efforts have failed to produced results. "Our troops are told to immediately lay on the ground like sheep. This momentarily confuses the enemy while our leaders quickly flee to Switzerland." According to former French General Luc-Paul Didier, France has learned from its mistakes of the past, particularly during the German invasion of World War II. "We got it all screwed up in those other wars by laying down like sheep first and then deporting people second," Didier said. "If we would have just planned a little better, we might have actually shared a beer with the German troops instead of prostituting our wives for a warm baguette." __________________

02-09-2003	#3
RawAlex Members $100 for every ImLive sign-up Join Date: Oct 2002 Posts: 4,036	Got more things to worry about... like north dakota! http://www.theonion.com/onion3904/north_dakota.html Alex __________________ Let's go to the edge of disaster Push the pedal and go a little faster Let's slam into a wall at ramming speed Let's go to the edge of a mountain Jump off and lets start countin' Hit the ground and tell me if it bleeds

02-09-2003	#4
Mike AI Administrator Want to see your own Advertising Here! Join Date: Oct 2002 Posts: 11,618	HAHA good stuff JR!! How quickly people forget history! __________________ Make big money on your Domains! Why wait 40 days to get paid with the other guys? Parked.com pays the most for your traffic, and cuts checks twice a month!

02-09-2003	#5
Mutt Members Join Date: Oct 2002 Posts: 1,087	I think there'd be a higher approval rating for Bush bombing France than Iraq.

02-09-2003	#6
PHmike Guest Posts: n/a	more French assholery: France armed and supported the genocidaires in Rwanda. The Tutsi who were murdered en mass by machete and grenade were anglophone. When the french-speaking Hutu genocidaires started losing ground, France sent troops to Rwanda to implement a 'cease-fire' which allowed the Hutus to retreat to the Congo. Meanwhile they are against getting rid of Saddam? WTF http://www.cnn.com/WORLD/africa/9805/05/rwanda.france/ And We Wish to Inform You That Tomorrow We Will be Killed With Our Families: Stories from Rwanda (great book) Great anti-france movie: The Battle of Algiers. http://us.imdb.com/Title?0058946