Porn Actress to Star in Anne Frank Bio-Pic

[gonzo]

(Toledo, OH)—Noted actress Trish Cooter, star of such adult films as Whore Buffet and Fingerblastin’, recently accepted the title role in an upcoming pornographic biography of Holocaust diarist Anne Frank, despite the fervent protests of local churches and religious organizations.

Minotaur Pictures’ Magic in the Attic is slated for production later this month, and will feature a set in the historic West End to recreate the ambiance of 1940s Nazi Poland. Though the film has a meager $9,000 budget, producers hope it will have blockbuster appeal for its scintillating action, captivating dialogue, and ethnically diverse cast.

Director and screenwriter Shawn Biggs claims that the film will be an accurate and moving portrayal of a young girl caught in the harrowing brutality of war.

“What the religious community fails to realize,” Biggs scorned, “is that this story has been abused, warped, and thoroughly cheapened by Hollywood sleazeballs for decades. 1949’s Hidden Away had a fucking eunuch play Anne, and 1968’s psychedelic musical Jew Love was downright abysmal. We’re bringing integrity, and a bit of lust, back to this narrative.”

But few Toledans share Biggs’ view. Father James Patterson of St. Mary’s Parish called Minotaur Pictures “a heretical affront to all that is pure in this world,” and vowed to lead the local Catholic opposition by staging sit-ins and other forms of nonviolent demonstration outside the production zone.

Left: Schwartz objects to casting and production decisions

Rabbi Eli Schwartz, an Ann Arbor activist well known for his crusades against adult entertainment, also lamented what he called “a racist venture” worthy of “apoplectic rage” among the Jewish community.

“Is this what Americans want to watch these days,” Schwartz sadly wondered, “all this schtupping and shvitzing and meshugge business? I’ll tell you this: in a culture of schmuck jokes and dirtiness, only our ancient traditions can save us.”

[softball]

Minotaur Pictures’ Magic in the Attic is slated for production later this month, and will feature a set in the historic West End to recreate the ambiance of 1940s Nazi Poland....he film will be an accurate and moving portrayal of a young girl caught in the harrowing brutality of war.

All on $9000.00 LMFAOROF

[Hammer]

Who the hell would do a porn version of the story of Anne Frank? What next, the porn biography of Mother Teresa?

[gonzo]

Originally Posted by Hammer

Who the hell would do a porn version of the story of Anne Frank? What next, the porn biography of Mother Teresa?

Cross over marketing to get all the clergy that are addicted to porn a few weeks ago.

[softball]

There is a huge market for blasphemous porn. It is all over Europe.

[JoesHO]

Originally Posted by Hammer

Who the hell would do a porn version of the story of Anne Frank? What next, the porn biography of Mother Teresa?

nah gil girl flicks are played out .....

but if we can cast the pope as giving her anal in a scene or two we might be on to something there .

[Peaches]

That kinda creeps me out........

[Hammer]

Originally Posted by JoesHO

but if we can cast the pope as giving her anal in a scene or two we might be on to something there .

I was thinking more like having her gang raped by a bunch of over sexed nun lovers.

[Peaches]

You guys have been in this business WAY too long!!!!!

[Hammer]

Originally Posted by Peaches

You guys have been in this business WAY too long!!!!!

Didn't I ever tell you about the idea I had for a reality site and just haven't had the time to work on? MySonFuckedANun.com.

[Greg B]

That's sooo ill.

[annalogue]

Originally Posted by rhetorical

There is a huge market for blasphemous porn. It is all over Europe.

It's somewhat nice to see blasphemous porn branching out beyond Christianity.

Next: Hindu babes eating steak!