Crazy Nicks BOToD for Sunday

[Nickatilynx]

To maximise your sales , go out and drink 6 cans of lager and smoke a joint.

Sit on one hand.

Surf around for a few hours.

You now have the mentality of the average porn surfer.

I said this in a workshop in 1997 on CONDOM I think.It still applies.


Therefore...

If you fall for a blind link. Incorporate it into yr own mousetrap
If you find yourself reading some blurb , incorporate it into yr mousetrap.

If you mail , read through yr junk filter. If you find something in there that makes you check that it is junk , incorporate that

etc etc etc.

You will be amazed how this will help you increase your sales.

[Carrie]

I don't think I COULD surf after 6 cans of lager... much less read the print on the screen

[JoesHO]

weed is bad I hear . ( great tip though )

[MorganGrayson]

Oh, my! Sweet, sweet nostalgia!!!!!!!

How well I remember that!!!

(Wasn't there also something about banging your head against the wall several times?)

I spent last night in deep "work mode" with a newbie (thankfully one who is smart as a whip) on the TGP project talking about this very concept. "Think like a surfer," he typed thoughtfully in ICQ. I told him that was one of my biggest problems in the beginning. I never was a surfer. I'm still not. (I make this shit, but other than that...you won't find me looking at it.)

I knew why my original story site, a domain I gave up years ago, got so many sales from Pornstories.com. I had a simple text link that said "Pornstories" under my pretty little logo. I had webmasters - and this stunned me, "webmasters"??? - tell me they had to take a couple of runs to get into my actual site...because they clicked the link that said "Pornstories" immediately. This was back in the day, and wasn't considered a blind link then. Now, most linksites would consider it a blind link unless it was "Pornstories.com." But...they were coming to that site looking for "porn stories" and did the obvious.

[MorganGrayson]

Originally Posted by JoesHO1

weed is bad I hear . ( great tip though )

Oh, yes. You should see what the little buggers have done to my lawn....

[CuriousToyBoy]

Originally Posted by Nickatilynx

To maximise your sales , go out and drink 6 cans of lager and smoke a joint.

Sit on one hand.

Surf around for a few hours.

You now have the mentality of the average porn surfer.

I said this in a workshop in 1997 on CONDOM I think.It still applies.


Therefore...

If you fall for a blind link. Incorporate it into yr own mousetrap
If you find yourself reading some blurb , incorporate it into yr mousetrap.

If you mail , read through yr junk filter. If you find something in there that makes you check that it is junk , incorporate that

etc etc etc.

You will be amazed how this will help you increase your sales.

Author author !

The SINGLE biggest lesson taught to me early.

I can still remember like yesterday ScottPB saying to me:
NEVER forget, all of your customers are wankers.

Ever since, my presiding rule for myself and any of my people has been:
THINK LIKE A PUNTER

As an example, when commissioning a new site design, I will tell the graphics dude that I do not give a shit if another graphic artist looks at the work and thinks it is shoddy or technically deficient, they do not buy from us, all I care about is getting the surfer who has one hand on his dick to remove his other hand from the mouse long enough to pull his Visa card out of his back pocket.

The cornerstone to having got to where I am now is that exact attitude towards everything:

Rule # 1 Think like a punter

Rule # 2 If in doubt, see rule # 1

Has graced whiteboards in permanent marker in every office I have had in this business.

;-)

[MorganGrayson]

I have a regrettable and totally daft tendency to make "pretty sites." Breaking me of that has been difficult...and I still screw up occasionally. Someone said to me recently "great graphic, it really pulls the eye." *pause, waiting for it to land*

It landed.

Pulls the eye...away from my sponsor banners and snazzy text.


One of the best things that someone sledgehammered into my head as a newbie was "you're not here to entertain the surfer! You want them *off* your site! The surfers *aren't* your clients! Ever have a surfer send you a check? NO! Your *sponsors* are your clients!"

Oh, said the little newbie voice. Ah, said the "slowly getting the point" newbie brain.

I made the same speech last night...luckily to someone who caught it faster than I did.