How do you tell the difference between Democrats,

[dantheman]

Republicans and Southerners?


You're walking down a deserted street with your wife and two small children. Suddenly, a dangerous looking man with a huge knife comes around the corner, locks eyes with you, screams obscenities, raises the knife, and charges.

You are carrying a Glock . 40, and you are an expert shot. You have mere seconds before he reaches you and your family.

What do you do?

Democrats Answer :

Well, that's not enough information to answer the question! Does the man look poor or oppressed? Have I ever done anything to him that would inspire him to attack? Could we run away?
What does my wife think? What about the kids?
Could I possibly swing the gun like a club and knock the knife out of his hand?
What does the law say about this situation?
Does the Glock have an appropriate safety built into it? Why am I carrying a loaded gun anyway, and what kind of message does this send to society and to my children?
Is it possible he'd be happy with just killing me?
Does he definitely want to kill me, or would he be content just to wound me?
If I were to grab his knees and hold on, could my family get away while he was stabbing me? Should I call 9-1-1 ?
Why is this street so deserted? We need to raise taxes, have a paint and weed day and make this a happier, healthier street that would discourage such behavior.
This is all so confusing! I need to debate this with some friends for a few days and try to come to a consensus.

Republican Answer

BANG

Southerner's Answer

BANG , BANG, BANG, BANG, BANG, BANG, BANG, click.

Sounds of reloading.)

Wife :: "Sweetheart, he looks like he's still moving, what do You kids think?"

Son: "Mom's right Dad, I saw it, too."

BANG, BANG, BANG, BANG,BANG,BANG,BANG, click.

Daughter: "Nice group, Daddy! Were those the Winchester Silver Tips?"



Last edited by dantheman at Jan 14 2004, 05:26 PM

[Hubby]

LOL
I laughed so hard the first time I heard that! It is still just as funny now!
I wasn't born in the south, but I married a southerner, moved to the south, and I am a southerner at heart.

[Carrie]

He just loves me for my guns.

[JohnV]

dantheman,

funny stuff

[Hubby]

Originally posted by Carrie@Jan 14 2004, 04:12 PM
He just loves me for my guns.

She was a ballerina on a subway train
Stiletto heels and a candy cane
Looked like a number on a station wall
Hot on the tail of a social call

I wet my lips I thought I had it made
Like Valentino with a hand grenade
I made my move with my libido on
She circled once and then she dropped the bomb

She got the big guns
Pointed at my heart
Bang bang shooting like a firing squad
Big guns
Blew me away
And I went down in flames

I met a sidewalk preacher on a roller skate
He said he had the key to heaven's gate
I said: "I'll wait for the movie 'cause I been there before"
And learned: like is a battle and love is war

She got the big guns
Pointed at my heart
Bang bang shooting like a firing squad
Big guns
Took me by surprise
She got my lovin' reachin' for the sky

She got the big guns
Pointed at my heart
Bang bang shooting like a firing squad
Big guns
Blew me away
And I went down in flames

I'm doing time as a back seat Romeo
Play solitaire with my hands in the air
Another night and no bullets to spare

She got the big guns
Pointed at my heart
Bang bang shooting like a firing squad
Big guns
Took me by surprise
She got my lovin' reachin' for the sky

She got the big guns
Pointed at my heart
Bang bang shooting like a firing squad
Big guns
Blew me away
And I went down in flames

Big guns (Big guns)
Big guns, blew me away
And I went down in flames

Big guns, big guns
She really, really got the big guns
She shot me down in flames









And they just keep gettin' BIGGER


BTW, I just copied and pasted the lyrics, it was easier that typing them out. So Vick, please don't shoot me if they are wrong any where. I didn't read through them to make sure.



Last edited by Hubby at Jan 14 2004, 04:23 PM

[Mike AI]

Those are impressive guns!

[Hubby]

Originally posted by Mike AI@Jan 14 2004, 04:31 PM
Those are impressive guns!

36 D to DD, depends on the day .
You should see them when they are all shined up! urpdance:




Right now they are more like E or F.
With our first one they made it up to G!
She got some of those nice easy access maternity bras, just unclip the top of the cup and BOOM, there it is!



Last edited by Hubby at Jan 14 2004, 04:42 PM

[Carrie]

Originally posted by Hubby@Jan 14 2004, 07:37 PM
She got some of those nice easy access maternity bras, just unclip the top of the cup and BOOM, there it is!

Yeah, it was like that little bat in Ferngully... "Gravity Works!!"

[Vick]

Ah Hubby -close enough
That song has one of my all tiem favorite clasic lines
"Like is a battle, love is war

- I tell ya Park Avenue leads to .... Skid Row


Did you hear about the woman police officer
She had two 38's ........

....... and a nice set of guns