recently it has come to my attention that one of the webmaster who is extremely prominent on this board suffers from a rare but deadly form of gastritis that not only effects his well being but all those closest to him as well.
This non-communicable disease can have a devastating effect on everything from the wallpaper in his posh, luxurious estate to the leather interior of his gorgeous vehicle. The only known cure is for him to insert a fresh pine cone deeply into his anal cavity daily. The cone will deteriorate rapidly so a large supply is needed and in a hurry.
THIS IS AN EMERGENCY!!
Because neither I or the beloved webmaster in question has a ready and available supply of high quality pine cones I decided to have an auction on his behalf because he is far to proud to ask for the help himself. His self esteem is so fragile at this critical moment in his life that I hesitate to even mention his nick in this thread.
So here is the auction. Whoever bids and is willing to send the most high quality pine cones to me will receive... free of charge...
a pack of delicious
Trident Splash Apple with Raspberry chewing gum!!! (
http://www.tridentsplash.ca/about.cfm )
this incredibly tasty treat comes in a convenient 9 pack encased in a very attractive box (of sorts). All you need to do to receive this wonderful prize is to help out a fellow and beloved webmaster control this serious condition.
You will receive you prize upon delivery of the pine cones to me. I will contact the winning bidder by either PM, email, ICQ or phone to give the delivery address. Yes YOU can have a phone conversation with a spaz just for a box of pine cones you can probably pick up in your yard!
Happy Bidding!
spaz
(post your bid of pine cones in this thread)