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Originally Posted by Bishop
I've been the exact opposite of that my entire life. I think it has always been my deep rooted fear of having children.. haha
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hahahaha well its a form of birth control I guess. This dude was just being considerate.
Oh but it reminded me of this past Valentines Day I was traveling down 75 in Florida on my way down I stopped right off the exit at an Adult Super Store. You know… one of those ho-dunk towns where everybody knows your name. I left VA and forgot the goodie bag next to the door. That’s what happens when you want to get an early start and only one cup of coffee.
This place was huge and of course packed for V-day. It truly takes a lot to embarrass me. I’ve been in the sex industry many moons and worked with bizarre reality production IN PUBLIC for a few companies… so you can pretty much guess what it might take to turn my face red.
First I go up to the counter. It’s huge and standing behind the counter is a wanna be goth girl who was missing some teeth. I asked her where the Hitachi Magic Wands were. She said, “What?” in a squeaky southern voice that made my skin crawl. She made no attempt at discretion. I whispered that it was a vibrator and she almost screams out, “All the vibrators are against the wall. There’s all kinds over there. I don’t know about no magic wand.”
That wasn’t so bad. I went over and found one that would do for a few days.
Now I’m looking at dildos. Some nice choices but there were no harnesses to strap them on. Reluctantly I return to the girl and whisper, hoping she’ll get the hint, that I needed a harness. She looked at me puzzled. “Oh the leather chest harnesses are over thar.” OUT LOUD.
“No, ma’am I am looking for a dildo harness…you know a strap-on?”
“Ohhhhhh strap-ons are way over there in the corner.” Now everyone in the store knew that I was buying a vibrator and now a strap-on. I’m over at the strap-on vac-u-lock section which is totally away from the dildos. A man is standing behind me way too close. I’m looking at the selections and he leans in and whispers, “You going use that on your husband?” Deep southern tobacco chewing draw.
I grabbed my cock and quickly headed to the counter.
I stood behind a man buying a copy of “Big Black Lusty Butts”. I knew this because the girl made a point to repeat the title before placing it in the bag. I dreaded my turn at the register. By now there were at least 5 people also starting to check out.
Now my turn. She is checking me out and I point to the case and ask for a small bottle of AstroGlide.
“Which one do you want? Regular or the kind that gets hot?” She asks me with an audience behind me. I told her regular.
I notice these tiny little cubes with Chinese writing all over them. I inspected one but could not figure out what they were. My sales clerk decided to tell me and everyone else in the store.
“You use those to make the dick hard and not shoot off so fast. You know like those guys who get off in like 2 seconds.” Her southern accent real rich now.
Behind me a few guys who came in with buddies were all making comment.
“I ain’t got that problem.” Yadda-yadda
“Well my old man knows that if I don’t get mine first he ain’t getting his so if he thinks he can’t then he better rub that shit on!” she announced.
I’m standing there feeling the heat in my face and wondering when she was going to give me my damn credit card back & just put my shit in the bag. You can here the guy behind me whisper to his buddy that I don’t need any stay hard cream. My dildo 8-fucking-inches sitting right there.
I admit I was embarrassed but probably not as bad as someone else would have been. I wish I had a video of the scene. Every time I think about it I laugh my ass off.
DV