Here are a few excerpts from a brochure I picked up from the Public Library that advertises their fall craft & fun schedule.
"...ages babies to adults..." <-- We could use a number no? The use of the word "ages" signifies to me that soon there will be a couple numbers present in the sentence.
"...on October 19th, to celebrate teen read week, we'll have lapsit time..." <-- Just...what the fuck...
"...during the week of November 14th through the 18th, we will have a craft area setup in the library. This will be for youth to decorate a paper bottle and place it on our bulletin. It is time to really be creative and make you bottle stand out." <-- Nevermind
"...also for teen read week, we will be having duct tape crafts..." <-- I can almost hear the music from Deliverance when I read that.
"...we present pawsative reading. It has been found that reading to K-9 companions can help children overcome poor reading skills and enhance their self esteem." <-- To hell with good parents...that kid needs a shitzu.
"...ages 6-24 months; introduce you littlest ones to story time in a relaxed setting. An adult MUST attend with each child." <-- I give up. There is no hope. Bomb the whole fucking thing right now.