My best ever!!!!
We were setting off driving from Vancouver to Orlando...we hadn't even got to the fucking border and the little shits started up the "How much longer" shit!!!!
We hadn't gone 50 miles and I was already saying the following...
"Don't make me come back there"
"I'll turn this car right around"
Nowadays,
Two of the kids are older now and do it on purpose to mess with mind.And then score points for makibng dad say dumb things and freaking out
But I found the answers.
Firstly advise them that the reason why I buy them really cool stuff is not because I like to , but rather so I can take shit away from them when they piss me off.
Additionally future big ticket items like cars and relative coolness thereof is very dependent upon not pissing off Mum or Dad.
If they smirk and basically postulate the theory that Dad is a beyyyotch and will give in anyway eventually I revert to turning to the wife and saying:
1.) Looks like Daddy's gonna have to choke a kid
2.) "Looks like we are gonna have to kill like we did in 96"
My eldest son however is a shitkicker LOL
At dinner him and his sister were bickering.I advised my daughter she'd be banned from messenger for a day if they didn't stop bickering and being a smartass and that he would not be allowed to play Xbox.
Silence reined...Crowing in my victory I then said "Ha! that fixed ya both , how ya like them apples!!"
My son looked at me with a smirk and a glint in his eye....I said "Don't do it!!"
He looked at his sister and said "ripe , and rotten..... like her!"
Everyone pissed themselves .Even his sister.
Then I said "Well no Xbox tonight"
And he smiles brightly at me and says "it was worth it".
I hate kids....