Don't splash, fart, shart or shit ... and go tooled up
Repel Sharks
Don’t chum the waters with excrement; sharks are attracted by horse apples, so shot-put them as far from you as possible. Like most predators, sharks prefer to pick on animals that show signs of weakness; if one nudges you gently, persuade the shark to mosey on by shooting him with a Glock 9mm. Once bitten (twice shy), kick the great white in the gills and eyes. If that fails, bargain with God: “Release me from these jaws of death and I swear I’ll stop banging my wife’s sister.”
They are attracted by the dead blood within the stools and the Glock fires underwater
That's just for future reference, but since TE WON! He won't have to do that shit! LOL