[Dianna Vesta]

I think that paying kid’s money or buying them things for behavior is wrong. When I see spoiled brats who act like idiots knowing that their parents will give them something to make them stop, I loose my mind. If my son threw a tantrum anywhere I jerked his ass up, took him to the car and we sat there until he stopped. I never hit my son until he was 16 and stood up in my face yelling at me & cussing. I don’t allow a grown person to disrespect me that way much less my own child.

When he was 12 I taught him how to do his own laundry. He looked at me like I lost my mind. When he got up one day and had to wear dirty clothes to school he soon realized I was dead serious. After a few months he actually started taking better care of his clothes. Today he’s very articulate with his things.

I was a single mother and during a large part of his life I worked and went to school. Money was tight for us. I made a deal on grades and helping around the house. I explain to him that we were partners in a sense. He had his job, I had mine. He would get paid weekly for doing his job and getting good grades. If he failed to clean his room, bathroom, trash, yard, etc. he did not get allowance that week. Even if it was one thing he didn’t do. When report cards came he was paid for the grades and that money went towards clothes. I always doubled it.

I grew up somewhat poor. My mother worked in a factory and raised 4 kids alone. Since I was an early teen I worked for everything I’ve ever gotten. I watched kids, washed windows and even mowed lawns. I think about how my mother raised us and how things are done today. The difference is that she didn’t have any choices. It was all about survival. I learned this and in my life I had to work my ass off. With this I’ve learned to take risk and to be flexible. I often wonder how I can teach this to my son because they are by far my strongest traits.

If we shelter our kids how will they learn? Even if we create programs to help teach them if you really think about it how will they *really* learn unless they know what’s like to be hungry, do without and struggle?


Happy Thanksgiving!

DV