One of President Bush's seal refuges on the Oregon Coast
Washington D.C.— In spite of criticisms of his apparent lack of any sort of environmental policy, President Bush announced the rampant success of his proclaimed Dead Seal Refuges in Alaska, Washington, Oregon, and parts of California. The refuges were set up in response the alarming number of seals and other sea mammals who have been wiped out as a result of lowered environmental standards for corporations and industries along the West Coast.
There are approximately 6,000 Northern fur seals rotting in select refuges along the coast. “People have been trying to say this President doesn’t care about dead animals,” Bush announced at George Washington University. “Tell that to the heaps of rotting carcasses on the beach that won’t be swept up and eaten by scavengers.”
Bush said that the refuges were a way to balance out the “overabundance” of nature that has been complicating large corporations from properly disposing their waste in the oceans. “You got 2/3 of the planet covered by water, and a handful of seals and fish hogging it all to themselves,” Bush continued. “That’s wrong, and I think that nature and corporate toxic waste can peacefully coexist under the right circumstances. Make no mistake. These seals are completely dead. And so is this debate. God bless America.”