native americans believe that when a bald eagle cirlcles your home, it means you will be impotent in less 30 days. the only cure is to shave your entire body and to run in and out of your front door naked, 6 times a day chanting "mina takawo ploof" which as we all know means "oh great god of sunny North Carolina afternoons, give me back the use of my penis and I promise to honor you by showing it daily, to all my friends and neighbors"
good luck.
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