Hehe, I sent this to a friend of mine and here's his new "revised" memo:
Subject: IDENTIFICATION OF EQUIPMENT SOLD TO LA COUNTY
Date: Tue, 18 Nov 2003 14:21:16 -0800
From: "Los Angeles County"
The County of Los Angeles actively promotes and is committed to ensure a work environment that is free from any discriminatory influence be it actual or perceived. As such, it is the County's expectation that our manufacturers, suppliers and contractors make a concentrated effort to ensure that any equipment, supplies or services that are provided to County departments do not possess or portray an image that may be construed as offensive or defamatory in nature.
One such recent example included the manufacturer's labeling of equipment where the words "Master/Slave" appeared to identify the primary and secondary sources. Based on the cultural diversity and sensitivity of Los Angeles County, this is not an acceptable identification label.
Consequently, we will be spending millions of the taxpayers dollars to refit all city, county and state vehicles with politically correct braking systems. We like to call it brake divesification. Instead of the conventional braking system incorporating a master and slave cylinder arrangement, we will have two cylinders of equal proportions, respectful of each other and mindful that both have the ability to stop the vehicle. Furthermore the cylinders painted white will stop the rear wheels in order to insulate the black cylinders from the "back of the bus trauma". The black cylinders will stop the front wheels. At any time all cylinders must work together but at no time shall the black cylinders perform more work than the white.
If a white cylinder is blown on a vehicle it must first be replaced with a black cylinder. Any effort to show preference to a white cylinder will not be tolerated and will result in the immediate replacement of the mechanic with a racially sensitive one.
Furthermore, we insist that male/female fittings be used. In fact, we insist that two male fittings and two female fittings also be allowed to connect. All fittings must be capable of transgender connection.
And since we are in California, NO vehicle may be allowed to turn to the right. All steering boxes will be fitted with steering blocks so that they may only go left, left, left.
We would request that each manufacturer, supplier and contractor review, identify and remove/change any identification or labeling of equipment or components thereof that could be interpreted as discriminatory or offensive in nature before such equipment is sold or otherwise provided to any County department.
Thank you in advance for your cooperation and assistance.
Joe Sandoval, Division Manager
Purchasing and Contract Services
Internal Services Department
County of Los Angeles
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