some of these maybe OLD.
In Honor of Stupid People
In case you needed further proof that the human race is
doomed through stupidity, here are some actual label instructions on
consumer goods.
On a Sears hairdryer: Do not use while sleeping.
(Damn, and that's the only time I have to work on my hair).
On a! bag of Fritos: You could be a winner! No purchase
necessary. Details inside.
(the shoplifter special)?
On a bar of Dial soap: "Directions: Use like regular soap."
(and that would be how???....)
On some Swanson frozen dinners: "Serving suggestion:
Defrost."
(but, it's "just" a suggestion).
On Tesco's Tiramisu dessert (printed on bottom):
"Do not turn upside down."
(well...duh, a bit late, huh)!
On Marks & Spencer Bread Pudding: "Product will be hot
after heating."
(...and you thought????...)
On packaging for a Rowenta iron: "Do not iron clothes on
body."
(but wouldn't this save me more time)?
On Boot's Children Cough Medicine: "Do not drive a car or
operate machinery after taking this medication."
(We could do a lot to reduce the rate of construction
accidents if we could just get those 5-year-olds with head-colds off
those forklifts.)
On Nytol Sleep Aid: "Warning: May cause drowsiness."
(and...I'm taking this because???....)
On most brands of Christmas lights: "For indoor or
outdoor use only."
(as opposed to...what)?
On a Japanese food processor: "Not to be used for the
other use."
(now, somebody out there, help me on this. I'm a bit
curious.)
On Sainsbury's peanuts: "Warning: contains nuts."
(talk about a news flash)
On an American Airlines packet of nuts: "Instructions:
Open packet, eat nuts."
(Step 3: maybe, uh...fly Delta?)
On a child's superman costume: "Wearing of this garment
does not enable you to fly."
(I don't blame the company. I blame the parents for this one.)
On a Swedish chainsaw: "Do not attempt to stop chain with
your hands or genitals."
Last edited by jimmyf at Nov 17 2003, 01:12 PM
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