[Vick]

Please always remember it could be worse
Your story could go like this


It's woman season
I'm woman huntin
hahahahahahahaha

Every time I go woman huntin
It always seems to blow up in my face

See, I don't always get the things I want
But a sweet, kind, loving, forgiving, understanding,
beautiful, rich, cock-sucking nymphomaniac
would be nice every now and then !

Hey, I'm a nice guy
I bathe
Sure I got blue balls, so what
Doesn't make me a bad person
Oh you know this ?

One example,
The girl that walked out on me on New Year's Eve
Well she came back last night and she said
"I don't have to go home tonight"
I said "alright"

So once again,
I go out and I buy a case of cold, cold Heinekin
And I had it out in the van, it was the big bottle,
Not the little bottle, the big bottle of Jack Daniels

Now, once again,
She drinks my beer,
She drinks my whiskey
She does my quualudes

Five in the morning comes,
Note: Five has come,
Kirk has yet to come

And this girl looks at me
In a most peculiar way
She is not looking very well
From her eyes come these
big, big, big, big tears
Rolling all over her face
Down into her chest and
Into her underwear

And she's got those big green snot bubbles
You know - it's not runny,
It's big thick shit

And she's got drool
This shit had legs,
I don't know what the fuck it was

It was nothing but
Tears and Snot and Drool, oh my !
Tears and Snot and Drool, oh my !
Tears and Snot and Drool, oh my !
Tears and Snot and Drool, oh my !

So she's not looking very well,
We've established that, right ?

So she looks at me and says
"Kirk.....I feel sick. I gotta go home now."

And she THREW UP all over the floor

It was disgusting
It smelled really, really bad
It smelled like....it smelled like puke
Only puke smells like puke
You can have farts that don't smell like puke
Nothing smells like puke but real puke
The shit was steamin
It was on my carpet
I was there just to have a good time with the lady
I took her out for dinner, and she puts dinner on my carpet
In a steaming heap of puke

So I looked at her, and I said
"You....no good for nuthin
Fuzzy headed, big-eyed
Booger-nosed, blow-me lips
Double-chin, flat chested, hairy back,
Big fat hairy ass "

She had crowbar black pubic hair
And she had cellulitic legs
And she did NOT shave her legs,
So if to touch it pricked, it pricked to touch 'em
To touch it pricked, it pricked to touch 'em,
She had big feet like Bozo the Clown
Oh she weebled but she won't fall down

I said "You get your teary, snotty, droolin,
Fuckin hairy ass outta my home you
Whore-bag pig bitch !"

What would you do ?

I said "Go outside and do that"
I don't need this
I'll go to the Geisha house
Find a real whore

Quit throwing up
Shit stinks
Just stop it

And I said...
Don't tell me no
Tell me yeah, yeah, yeah

And she threw up AGAIN !!



Last edited by Vick at Sep 30 2003, 06:52 PM