Oprano Adult Industry Forums - View Single Post

dantheman · 05-15-2003

here's a decent piece on coaches gone wild

By JOHN FEINSTEIN
AOL Exclusive

The sad cases of Mike Price and Larry Eustachy are complicated and filled with as much gray as black and white.

Having said that, let us begin with what is very clear: Price had to be fired by Alabama. Eustachy had to be fired by Iowa State.

Fair or unfair, standards are different for public figures, and college coaches making $1 million a year are public figures. There are things they cannot say and things they cannot do because of who they are. Life is a series of tradeoffs. There are plenty of perks that come with fame that go beyond money. There are also responsibilities.

I am more than willing to give Eustachy the benefit of the doubt, to take him at his word when he says he is an alcoholic and to wish him well in recovery and in the future. My mother, the best person I have ever known, was an alcoholic. I know firsthand what the disease does to people and those who care about them. I sincerely hope that Eustachy receives the help and support he needs now from his family and from his friends and that he gets another chance to coach.

But being an alcoholic does not absolve you of responsibility for your behavior when you are drunk. Or for the decisions you make prior to getting drunk. If you drive to a place where you intend to drink and then attempt to drive home after you are drunk, you are responsible for making the decision to drive -- and for any harm you do when you get behind the wheel of a car.

Fortunately for Eustachy, nothing like that occurred. But he did make conscious decisions to go places he had no business going, especially as a representative of Iowa State. I would also have a lot more sympathy for him in his current situation if he had come forward before being outted by a newspaper that had photos which made a denial impossible.

If, as the Des Moines Register reported last week, Eustachy sat drinking a so-called "nonalcoholic" beer during a recent interview, then he still isn't close to understanding what he's dealing with. Nonalcoholic beer has considerably less alcohol than a regular beer, but it does have alcohol. If Eustachy has received any counseling at all, he should know that. In fact, given what his drinking problem led him to do, he should already be in a 28-day program rather than the whirlwind public relations tour he has taken instead.

At least, until now, Eustachy has admitted he's guilty and answered questions about what he did and what he hopes to do in the future.

Price refused to do that Saturday, taking the self-righteous "I deserve a second chance" road, and then taking the coward's way out by refusing to answer questions. Even putting aside the fact that he had apparently been warned about his public behavior prior to this trip to Pensacola, there's simply no way to view what took place there as an isolated incident.

Raise your hand if you are 57 and have never been in a strip club, but might be contemplating making your debut in one in the near future. There isn't a long list of guys who fit that description. If you've gone 57 years without going to one, odds are pretty good you'll go the next 57 the same way.

Again, let's not even get into the morality of a married man in a strip club or even the morality of a married man ending up back in his hotel room with a stripper -- regardless of what did or did not take place in said hotel room.

Let's instead get into the stupidity of it. You are the brand new football coach at the University of Alabama. You yourself have called it the most prestigious football coaching job in the country. You are certainly aware of the school's recent checkered history whether it involves NCAA probation (twice) or out-of-court settlements with battered secretaries (at least two more).

You must be, to put it mildly, Caesar's wife; not just above reproach; but way above reproach. If you want to get to know the Alabama student body better, that's fine, do it at fraternity and sorority houses at university-arranged functions where it is absolutely clear you are there as the new football coach seeking their support, not as some wayward uncle looking to buy everyone a beer.

In both cases, the coaches have been supported publicly by their players. Good for them. Proves that both are good coaches -- which isn't the issue here in any way, shape or form. One Alabama player, Wes Britt, was quoted as saying, "If everyone got kicked off the team or lost their job for going to a strip club, there would be no one working and we wouldn't have a football team."

Again, I sympathize with Britt and the Alabama players who have now been kicked in the teeth twice in less than six months, first by the desertion of Dennis Franchione, now by this. Loyalty is a good thing. But let's be sensible. First, not all athletes and coaches go to strip clubs. Some, yes. Most of the football players Britt is talking about aren't married and aren't, by definition of their position, expected to be pillars of their community. They are kids, specifically boys, who, on given nights, will be boys.

Mike Price hasn't been a boy for a long time. Neither has Larry Eustachy. They are grown men who go into the homes of boys and ask their parents to entrust them with the futures of their children. That may sound like an exaggeration, but it's not. At the level that Alabama plays football and Iowa State plays basketball, choosing a coach may be the most important decision an 18-year-old boy has made at that moment in his life.

The one message all coaches transmit to families in recruiting, whether in specific words or otherwise is this: trust me with the one thing you value above every other thing in your life --your child. Trust me to make him a better player; trust me to make him a better person; trust me to teach him values and help him make the right decisions. I've heard coaches very specifically promise parents they will see to it personally that their son gets to church every Sunday.

This is a big deal. Someone comes into my house and asks me to entrust my son or daughter to them for four years, they damn well better be completely honest and live up to every promise -- specific or implied -- that they make. My guess is neither Price nor Eustachy ever mentioned anything like this during a recruiting visit.

All of which brings us to second chances. I'm in favor of second chances, even third and fourth chances in some cases. Everyone of us has done things we regret and asked to be forgiven for those mistakes. But none of us is owed a second chance. The implication from both Price and Eustachy is that by admitting to acts after being caught in them, they are automatically owed another chance.

It isn't that simple. A second chance doesn't mean you don't have to face up to what you've done and accept punishment. In this case the punishment is and should be the loss of prestigious, high-paying jobs. Sadly, if this had happened two years ago after Eustachy had won 57 games in two seasons or if this had happened to Price after back-to-back SEC titles at Alabama, they might have survived because winning in any sport at any place will cause a whole lot of people to forgive a whole lot of mistakes.

So, perhaps for the wrong reasons, Alabama and Iowa State have done the right thing. Both men should get counseling -- and in Eustachy's case get different counselors from the ones who told him that drinking nonalcoholic beer is okay -- spend some time with the families to whom they owe the lengthiest and most important apologies and then see if they are capable of taking on coaching responsibilities again.

If they do receive second chances, one can only hope they will realize two things: first, they are very lucky and second, the responsibilities of coaching go way beyond the job of coaching.

05-15-2003	#8
dantheman Members Join Date: Oct 2002 Posts: 1,878	here's a decent piece on coaches gone wild By JOHN FEINSTEIN AOL Exclusive The sad cases of Mike Price and Larry Eustachy are complicated and filled with as much gray as black and white. Having said that, let us begin with what is very clear: Price had to be fired by Alabama. Eustachy had to be fired by Iowa State. Fair or unfair, standards are different for public figures, and college coaches making $1 million a year are public figures. There are things they cannot say and things they cannot do because of who they are. Life is a series of tradeoffs. There are plenty of perks that come with fame that go beyond money. There are also responsibilities. I am more than willing to give Eustachy the benefit of the doubt, to take him at his word when he says he is an alcoholic and to wish him well in recovery and in the future. My mother, the best person I have ever known, was an alcoholic. I know firsthand what the disease does to people and those who care about them. I sincerely hope that Eustachy receives the help and support he needs now from his family and from his friends and that he gets another chance to coach. But being an alcoholic does not absolve you of responsibility for your behavior when you are drunk. Or for the decisions you make prior to getting drunk. If you drive to a place where you intend to drink and then attempt to drive home after you are drunk, you are responsible for making the decision to drive -- and for any harm you do when you get behind the wheel of a car. Fortunately for Eustachy, nothing like that occurred. But he did make conscious decisions to go places he had no business going, especially as a representative of Iowa State. I would also have a lot more sympathy for him in his current situation if he had come forward before being outted by a newspaper that had photos which made a denial impossible. If, as the Des Moines Register reported last week, Eustachy sat drinking a so-called "nonalcoholic" beer during a recent interview, then he still isn't close to understanding what he's dealing with. Nonalcoholic beer has considerably less alcohol than a regular beer, but it does have alcohol. If Eustachy has received any counseling at all, he should know that. In fact, given what his drinking problem led him to do, he should already be in a 28-day program rather than the whirlwind public relations tour he has taken instead. At least, until now, Eustachy has admitted he's guilty and answered questions about what he did and what he hopes to do in the future. Price refused to do that Saturday, taking the self-righteous "I deserve a second chance" road, and then taking the coward's way out by refusing to answer questions. Even putting aside the fact that he had apparently been warned about his public behavior prior to this trip to Pensacola, there's simply no way to view what took place there as an isolated incident. Raise your hand if you are 57 and have never been in a strip club, but might be contemplating making your debut in one in the near future. There isn't a long list of guys who fit that description. If you've gone 57 years without going to one, odds are pretty good you'll go the next 57 the same way. Again, let's not even get into the morality of a married man in a strip club or even the morality of a married man ending up back in his hotel room with a stripper -- regardless of what did or did not take place in said hotel room. Let's instead get into the stupidity of it. You are the brand new football coach at the University of Alabama. You yourself have called it the most prestigious football coaching job in the country. You are certainly aware of the school's recent checkered history whether it involves NCAA probation (twice) or out-of-court settlements with battered secretaries (at least two more). You must be, to put it mildly, Caesar's wife; not just above reproach; but way above reproach. If you want to get to know the Alabama student body better, that's fine, do it at fraternity and sorority houses at university-arranged functions where it is absolutely clear you are there as the new football coach seeking their support, not as some wayward uncle looking to buy everyone a beer. In both cases, the coaches have been supported publicly by their players. Good for them. Proves that both are good coaches -- which isn't the issue here in any way, shape or form. One Alabama player, Wes Britt, was quoted as saying, "If everyone got kicked off the team or lost their job for going to a strip club, there would be no one working and we wouldn't have a football team." Again, I sympathize with Britt and the Alabama players who have now been kicked in the teeth twice in less than six months, first by the desertion of Dennis Franchione, now by this. Loyalty is a good thing. But let's be sensible. First, not all athletes and coaches go to strip clubs. Some, yes. Most of the football players Britt is talking about aren't married and aren't, by definition of their position, expected to be pillars of their community. They are kids, specifically boys, who, on given nights, will be boys. Mike Price hasn't been a boy for a long time. Neither has Larry Eustachy. They are grown men who go into the homes of boys and ask their parents to entrust them with the futures of their children. That may sound like an exaggeration, but it's not. At the level that Alabama plays football and Iowa State plays basketball, choosing a coach may be the most important decision an 18-year-old boy has made at that moment in his life. The one message all coaches transmit to families in recruiting, whether in specific words or otherwise is this: trust me with the one thing you value above every other thing in your life --your child. Trust me to make him a better player; trust me to make him a better person; trust me to teach him values and help him make the right decisions. I've heard coaches very specifically promise parents they will see to it personally that their son gets to church every Sunday. This is a big deal. Someone comes into my house and asks me to entrust my son or daughter to them for four years, they damn well better be completely honest and live up to every promise -- specific or implied -- that they make. My guess is neither Price nor Eustachy ever mentioned anything like this during a recruiting visit. All of which brings us to second chances. I'm in favor of second chances, even third and fourth chances in some cases. Everyone of us has done things we regret and asked to be forgiven for those mistakes. But none of us is owed a second chance. The implication from both Price and Eustachy is that by admitting to acts after being caught in them, they are automatically owed another chance. It isn't that simple. A second chance doesn't mean you don't have to face up to what you've done and accept punishment. In this case the punishment is and should be the loss of prestigious, high-paying jobs. Sadly, if this had happened two years ago after Eustachy had won 57 games in two seasons or if this had happened to Price after back-to-back SEC titles at Alabama, they might have survived because winning in any sport at any place will cause a whole lot of people to forgive a whole lot of mistakes. So, perhaps for the wrong reasons, Alabama and Iowa State have done the right thing. Both men should get counseling -- and in Eustachy's case get different counselors from the ones who told him that drinking nonalcoholic beer is okay -- spend some time with the families to whom they owe the lengthiest and most important apologies and then see if they are capable of taking on coaching responsibilities again. If they do receive second chances, one can only hope they will realize two things: first, they are very lucky and second, the responsibilities of coaching go way beyond the job of coaching. __________________ "Never argue with an idiot....he will drag you down to his level and beat you with experience."