Quote:
Originally posted by Vick@May 14 2003, 09:46 PM
The ramifactions start with self doubt, questions of self worth and questioning morals and self on many levels within the child as they grow into adulthood
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I agree that it happens, but I think we have brought this on ourselves as a society ...
and the more fancy psychological terms that we come up with to describe this trauma, the more trauma seems to occur in the victim.
I've always wondered if there would be so many psychological problems if there were less psychologists
If a 10 year old boy were molestered by a grown man, but he understood that all of his own reactions were natural although the situation was legally wrong, would he still be as emotionally traumatized?
If a child understood why that yummy fuzzy feeling happens at the pit of the belly when a sexual thing happens, would they be traumatized by their guilt and feelings of being dirty?
We repeatedly tell that 10 year old boy that what happened to him was wrong and disgusting, eventually he's going to start to believe it, & doubt himself and as an adult, he is convinced that something traumatic happened to him when he was a child, when at the time it really didn't seem like that big a deal & it wouldn't be today if he understood the feelings he had.
I'm not trying to minimize the seriousness of these situations, because you only have to look at some of the sites that crop up in our industry to see how many adults take advantage of children against their will and how many child victims there are ... but, our society tries so hard to invent pain and trauma where there doesn't need to be any. There are 'syndromes' and 'conditions' for every event in your life ... mommy didn't hold me enough, mommy held me too often, my teacher spanked me etc
Society encourages people to have traumatic events in our lives, we love pain, we embrace it & treat these traumas as our identity & as an excuse for our behaviour. "I was raped when i was 10 therefore i have pent up feelings of agression and i beat up my wife" or "I am unable to orgasm with my partner because I was sexually abused as a child" etc etc ...
The human body was built to conceive children at the age of 12 - that's the only relevant physical factor to the entire argument.
The rest of the issues we place upon ourselves.