Quote:
Originally posted by SykkBoy@May 14 2003, 02:54 PM
does the emotional baggage that comes with a boy's molestation differ if the molester is male rather than female? I already know about the emotional scarring a girl has at the hands of a molester, but just wonder from a male's perspective...and does a lot of this emotional scarring (male and female) come from consent or non-consent (in other words if the younger person consents to the act and it's not a forced rape situation)?
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and when does the emotional scarring start?
during the activities, or years later when society has tells that person what they did was wrong?
There's 2 different sides to this ... there's minors being forced or coerced into a situation by either violent force or emotional manipulation, and there's minors who make a conscious choice to partake in something despite understanding fully that its wrong.
In my situation, I was so in love with the person that I didn't give a shit what anyone else thought ... I was 14, he was 24, but the ONLY time that became relevant was in our interaction with society as a 'pair' ... we never went out together or did normal couple stuff, but when you have a relationship with someone that doesn't have all the baggage that comes with a *normal* relationship, its amazing how pure it seems.
When I look at it from the outside I think its disgusting, but also that its none of anyone else's business. In many cases, it IS disgusting, but those are social values we force upon ourselves and upon each other. THAT is what causes emotional scarring - the effect of others convincing you that what makes you feel good is wrong. This is why so much emotional scarring happens when young boys & girls get abused - often they enjoy many aspects of it but feel ashamed because a 'dirty' act made them feel good. You must be a bad person if sex feels good when you are 14? Or you must have just been brainwashed?
To this day, i've never felt as purely connected to another person as I was to him for the 3 years we continued our 'relationship' ... but I don't feel that way about him any more, although he is still very special to me ... my adult mind has analyzed the reasons a hundred times over and sometimes I think that it was just my young impressionable mind allowing myself to think i was in love ... but when i close my eyes and be 100% honest with myself, I know that there is no purer love than what you feel when you are far far away from society's values & perceptions of what love *should* be like, & just enjoying the company of 2 people who have a special bond.
The only reason these rules exist is because our society has evolved to a point where a person is not considered old enough to make decisions until they are 18 - and yet I left home at 17 to go to college, looked after my sister 5 nights a week while the folks ran the restaurant, bled once a month since i was 12, and had a part time job from the age of 14 ...
I don't believe the law should be any different, because in MOST cases, the laws we value are correct and there for our safety ... but with that said, applying those laws to every single situation and judging those involved with black & white rules that are made to group & protect the 'masses' is just as wrong.
How many of you drank alcohol or smoked pot before the age of 18 or 21?
Are you emotionally scarred?
The problem isn't as simple as teenagers having sex with adults, its society's general attitude to sex as a 'dirty' thing ... If society accepted sex as a natural, beautiful thing instead of the media adding descriptive words to make it a dirty act, perhaps the youth in our society would have a better understanding of what sex is and the potential responsibilities that goes with it.
Women, especially girls, will ALWAYS use sex as a tool, and girls are discovering that they posess this tool younger and younger. We need more education & support for young people where sex is concerned and less judgemental fuckwits placing their social values on other people's situations because they don't follow the 'rules'.