Well it’s early in the a.m. and I’m feelin’ kinda trashed
Somebody found a six-pack that he didn’t know he’d stashed
Said she'd fuck me for a Mickey, said she's fuck me for a light
She won’t be the only actress at this curtain call tonight
Secret smile in my eyes, a bonfire in my hair
And the lace upon her push-up bra reminds me why it’s there
It’s early in the morning and the sky is turning grey
And she's punching my ticket ’cause it’s Sadie Hawkins Day
Dress it up, baby — that girl’s no lady
And she doesn’t want to be ignored
Heart like granite — where’s the vodka, dammit?
When I’m stone cold sober I’m stone cold bored
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I once wanted to be a Gynecologist
But I couldn't find an opening
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