[Dianna Vesta]

Thank you all.

My father died 20 years ago.

Too many times we take things for granted, especially the ones we love. Life gets so crazy and complex. I don't want to look back, as I do with my dad and wish I had treated her differently or spent more time. I feel guilty because the past 6 months I've been so wrapped up in my life and projects that I've rushed her of the phone and didn't visit her as much. She told me she hadn't been feeling well.

It seems that in my 40's I really have faced my own mortality and reflect on my past. Damn I've done a lot and if I wrote books they would need to be volumes. So many lives I've lived. I asked my mom what she would have changed in her life and she said nothing except that she wishes she wouldn't have made so many excuses for not doing fun things she wanted because she had 4 kids and had to work her ass off to survive. She feels guilty becuase she doesn't feel like she gave us a good life.

I'm happy to have set that record straight. She's a good mom. I don't think I could have asked for one better.

She's going to need long term care. I think I'm going to move her out of the 180K townhouse we all bought her, out here to a cabin on my land. I think she'd be happier out here anyhow. My friends think I'll go crazy taking care of her but she's my mom and I'd hate it if my son pushed me off on someone. I don't think she'd do that.

Anyhow, she's ok. Still very sick and weak. I'm not sure when I can take her home yet.

DV