Posts on Oprano get me thinking quite often, but I've really been thinking about what Colin said - about how we don't talk to our neighbors, aren't involved in the community... how we have detatched in a way, and whether or not the Internet has influenced this new way of "being."

As I talked with friends and colleagues via IM/email/phone - and heard my kids talking about their various friends online this week I realized something. Even though our online friendships might not be "real life" ones with people next door, involving us in our local communities - many of these relationships have a richness and depth that "real life" ones sometimes just can't support.

You might wave hello to a neighbor that you share a fence with, might even have them over or your kids might play together regularly - but how MUCH of a relationship do you really have with them? I have fond memories of my neighborhood as a kid - but the people that lived there were "supporting actors" on my stage of life - not main characters. The main characters lived on other streets, in other cities and sometimes in other countries. In many ways, they were part of the scenery.

Friends who are going through personal trials and need to voice their fears or worries - things they might not have said to me over the phone, or been able to discuss face-to-face without fear of breaking down completely... they are able to accomplish this online via IM, email or private chat. They can confide, confess, talk "out loud" to someone who is listening and isn't personally involved, won't judge (most times - lol) and will support... they can go to chat rooms and boards to meet like-minded people and discuss topics/issues that family and neighbors might not necessary appreciate... for every negative - there IS a positive.

Anyway... just wanted to share that here since that post is what got me thinking about it... Change is good. This might be good too.

Like Enforcer ICQing me when he's drunk. B)

Kath, EXCELLENT post. I prefer your way of looking at it.

I think our transient society contributes to the lack of closeness with neighbors. We moved a lot when I was a kid thanks to the AF and IBM and I've moved as an adult in attempt to find a better neighborhood and school when my finances would support it.

Online, we never move. We can move physically from country to country, but when I can reach my Dad 60 miles away with the same ease I can reach someone in another country, I tend to keep the bonds there without breaking or weakening them when someone physically leaves.

I remember moving as a child and going to my Dad's office to call friends we'd left behind on the WATS lines and of course writing letters. As time goes by, you make new friends and don't make the effort. I probably talk more to my HS friends via email these days than on the phone or in person.

Yeah, very true; and Jamaicans are stuck together on a small island.

Excellent point Peaches.

We moved from Ohio to California when I was 16. I kept in touch with my friends for about 2 years... spotty contact, on and off - days of sky-high phone bills and my dad yelling at me to stop calling... letters that went unanswered for months at a time....

Years later I found my former best friend on AOL... we chatted on IM but really didn't have much to say except "remember whens" and "so-and-so is now married and has kids or is divorce from you-know-who." After about 6 months of trying the emails stopped, the IMs disappeared and we lost touch, this time knowing that it was a forever kind of thing.

I can't imagine how hard it would be to be a military brat. When our son was born I pushed hub to get out of the Army. He didn't renew and we left Oklahoma. Best decision of our lives IMHO. That would truly be hard to move so much.

Online we never move. I like that. B)

at least he only iCQ's you...when my phone rings at 1am, I generallly know who it is ;-)))

although our number if one off of Enterprise Rent-A-Car, so once in awhile, it's not him ;-))))

rokk on to the maxx

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Nice quote! :yowsa: