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-   -   another lawyer joke (http://www.oprano.com/msgboard/showthread.php?t=34749)

Winetalk.com 05-16-2004 02:06 AM

Two alligators were sitting at the side of the swamp. The smaller one turned
> to the bigger one and said, "I cain't unnerstand how you kin be so much
> bigger 'n me. We da same age, we was da same size as kids. I just don't get
> it."
>
> "Well," said the big 'gator, "What you been eatin' boy?"
>
> "Lawyers, same as you," replied the small 'gator.
>
> "Hmm. Well, where do y'all catch 'em?"
>
> "Down at 'tother side of the swamp near da parkin' lot of dat law firm."
>
> "Same here. Hmm. How you catch 'em?"
>
> "Well, I crawls up under one dem Lexus cars, and wait fer someone to unlock
> the door. Then I jumps out, grab 'em on the leg, shake the shit out 'em, and
> eat 'em!"
>
> "Ah!" says the big alligator, "I tenk I see you problem. You ain't gettin'
> no real nourishment. See, by da time you get done shakin'the shit out of a
> lawyer, there ain't nothin' left but lips and a briefcase."

chodadog 05-16-2004 09:32 AM

Ghetto alligators?

JoesHO 05-16-2004 09:41 AM

the first two subjects out of any lawyers mouth:

1.) my fee will be ......

2.) it does not matter if you are right let's settle and stay out of court.


Lawyers are truely the scum of the earth..

But just like traffic brokers, you hate the no good slimey ones ( unless they are on your side, then they are the king of the world)

masterp74 05-16-2004 09:43 AM

Quote:

Originally posted by JoesHO1@May 16 2004, 05:49 AM
the first two subjects out of any lawyers mouth:

1.) my fee will be ......

2.) it does not matter if you are right let's settle and stay out of court.


Lawyers are truely the scum of the earth..

But just like traffic brokers, you hate the no good slimey ones ( unless they are on your side, then they are the king of the world)

I hope my biz partner APTour reads this. Lawyers are worst then sig whores :matey:

CuriousToyBoy 05-16-2004 09:53 AM

What's the difference between a lwayer and a catfish?

One is a scum-sucking bottom feeder and the other is a fish.

:moon:

JoesHO 05-16-2004 09:58 AM

I am starting a grass roots orginization, to do away with all lawyers, and bring back the duel system as a means of conflict resolution any body here want to donate to my cause? if so I will have my Lawyer draw up the donation rules, and disclaimers sometime this week.



Last edited by JoesHO1 at May 16 2004, 06:07 AM

Winetalk.com 05-16-2004 11:23 AM

Quote:

Originally posted by JoesHO1@May 16 2004, 09:06 AM
I am starting a grass roots orginization, to do away with all lawyers, and bring back the duel system as a means of conflict resolution any body here want to donate to my cause? if so I will have my Lawyer draw up the donation rules, and disclaimers sometime this week.
joe, I settled my second internet dispute with an offer of a duel on the beach with REAL flames throwers as weapons of choice
;-))))

JoesHO 05-16-2004 11:47 AM

Quote:

Originally posted by Serge_Oprano+May 16 2004, 07:31 AM--></span><table border='0' align='center' width='95%' cellpadding='3' cellspacing='1'><tr><td>QUOTE (Serge_Oprano @ May 16 2004, 07:31 AM)</td></tr><tr><td id='QUOTE'><!--QuoteBegin--JoesHO1@May 16 2004, 09:06 AM
I am starting a grass roots orginization, to do away with all lawyers, and bring back the duel system as a means of conflict resolution any body here want to donate to my cause? if so I will have my Lawyer draw up the donation rules, and disclaimers sometime this week.
joe, I settled my second internet dispute with an offer of a duel on the beach with REAL flames throwers as weapons of choice
;-))))[/b][/quote]
see, now that is what I am talking about....
Keep it real!!

Winetalk.com 05-16-2004 01:16 PM

Quote:

Originally posted by JoesHO1+May 16 2004, 10:55 AM--></span><table border='0' align='center' width='95%' cellpadding='3' cellspacing='1'><tr><td>QUOTE (JoesHO1 @ May 16 2004, 10:55 AM)</td></tr><tr><td id='QUOTE'>
Quote:

Originally posted by -Serge_Oprano@May 16 2004, 07:31 AM
<!--QuoteBegin--JoesHO1
Quote:

@May 16 2004, 09:06 AM
I am starting a grass roots orginization, to do away with all lawyers, and bring back the duel system as a means of conflict resolution any body here want to donate to my cause? if so I will have my Lawyer draw up the donation rules, and disclaimers sometime this week.


joe, I settled my second internet dispute with an offer of a duel on the beach with REAL flames throwers as weapons of choice
;-))))

see, now that is what I am talking about....
Keep it real!![/b][/quote]
the funny thing is,
I was ABSOLUTELLY mentally preparted for that at that time....

"Men are from Mars...."
;-)))

JoesHO 05-16-2004 07:24 PM

Quote:

Originally posted by Serge_Oprano+May 16 2004, 09:24 AM--></span><table border='0' align='center' width='95%' cellpadding='3' cellspacing='1'><tr><td>QUOTE (Serge_Oprano @ May 16 2004, 09:24 AM)</td></tr><tr><td id='QUOTE'>
Quote:

Originally posted by -JoesHO1@May 16 2004, 10:55 AM
Quote:

Originally posted by -Serge_Oprano@May 16 2004, 07:31 AM
<!--QuoteBegin--JoesHO1

Quote:

Quote:

@May 16 2004, 09:06 AM
I am starting a grass roots orginization, to do away with all lawyers, and bring back the duel system as a means of conflict resolution any body here want to donate to my cause? if so I will have my Lawyer draw up the donation rules, and disclaimers sometime this week.


joe, I settled my second internet dispute with an offer of a duel on the beach with REAL flames throwers as weapons of choice
;-))))


see, now that is what I am talking about....
Keep it real!!

the funny thing is,
I was ABSOLUTELLY mentally preparted for that at that time....

"Men are from Mars...."
;-)))[/b][/quote]
How far does one of them flame throwers shoot fire out anyway?


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