Days undercover
All out of sync
Haven't paid the rent
Even talking in my sleep
My monkey's M.O.
Is all out of commission
I'm waiting for a good
old-fashioned cure
For my condition

'Cos I'm all out of charm
And I'm all out of money
Hanging
Down Incognito
Waiting for the sun to shine

Fools to the left
Jokers to the right
Waitin' for the rest of us
To come and take a bite
But I'll wait it out
Call it superstition
I'll be fine for now
Just reminiscing

(Repeat Chorus)

I just had to let it go
Took all the pennies I had
Threw 'em in the wishing well
And I wish you well

Days undercover
All out of sync
Haven't paid the rent
Even talking in my sleep
My monkey's M.O.
Is all out of commission
I'm waiting for a good
old-fashioned cure
For my condition

(Repeat Chorus)

Me and my amigos
Down Incognito

I just got a new gun. Would you like to borrow it?

It's a Glock 21, 11.25 mm

Guranteed to get rid of those lowly feelings.

Directions to use.

Get a picture of the person or thing you hate those most.

Go to gun range.

Staple picture on target.

Aim.

Fire.

Does wonders for me.

:D

Well shot gun blues came to mind at first.....

But then I realized.....

It's just your attitude !!!

You go down the pub
You wear make up

And old dads trousers
Why don’t you tidy up

You talk like a docker but you act like a queer
You drink champagne then complain it’s too dear

You try so hard not to follow any trends
Then you cry in your beer and say you’ve got no friends

But is it any wonder that you’ve got no friends

But it’s not the make up
Or the way you dress

It’s not your appearance, that they all detest
It’s not your manners, that you gotta improve

ooooooooooo it’s your attitude.

Attitude...oooooo
Your attitude
Attitude...oooooo
Your attitude

Take off your head phones
Hear what’s going on

You can’t live in a time zone
You’ve gotta move on

But before you get there
There’s one thing you’ve gotta do

Oh change your attitude

It’s your attitude
It’s your attitude

Attitude...oooooo
Your attitude
Attitude...oooooo
Your attitude

The ’2000s are here, I know cuz I’m staring right at them
But you’re still waiting for 1960 to happen

You might have the illness, but you’ve got the cure
You’ve got the answer, you will endure

You’re the only person that’s gonna pull you through
Ooh, with your attitude

Attitude...oooooo
Your attitude
Attitude...oooooo
Your attitude

You gotta learn to be positive, it’s your only chance
You mustn’t be so defensive, you gotta join in the dance

But it isn’t your dancing that you’ve gotta improve

Ooh, it’s your attitude.

Attitude...oooooo
Your attitude
Attitude...oooooo
Your attitude

It’s all the music
It’s all in your brain

You’ve used all the old licks
Now it’s all gotta change.

Change your attitude
It’s your attitude

Attitude



Hope that helps cheer you up ........... :yowsa:

Please always remember it could be worse
Your story could go like this


It's woman season
I'm woman huntin
hahahahahahahaha

Every time I go woman huntin
It always seems to blow up in my face

See, I don't always get the things I want
But a sweet, kind, loving, forgiving, understanding,
beautiful, rich, cock-sucking nymphomaniac
would be nice every now and then !

Hey, I'm a nice guy
I bathe
Sure I got blue balls, so what
Doesn't make me a bad person
Oh you know this ?

One example,
The girl that walked out on me on New Year's Eve
Well she came back last night and she said
"I don't have to go home tonight"
I said "alright"

So once again,
I go out and I buy a case of cold, cold Heinekin
And I had it out in the van, it was the big bottle,
Not the little bottle, the big bottle of Jack Daniels

Now, once again,
She drinks my beer,
She drinks my whiskey
She does my quualudes

Five in the morning comes,
Note: Five has come,
Kirk has yet to come

And this girl looks at me
In a most peculiar way
She is not looking very well
From her eyes come these
big, big, big, big tears
Rolling all over her face
Down into her chest and
Into her underwear

And she's got those big green snot bubbles
You know - it's not runny,
It's big thick shit

And she's got drool
This shit had legs,
I don't know what the fuck it was

It was nothing but
Tears and Snot and Drool, oh my !
Tears and Snot and Drool, oh my !
Tears and Snot and Drool, oh my !
Tears and Snot and Drool, oh my !

So she's not looking very well,
We've established that, right ?

So she looks at me and says
"Kirk.....I feel sick. I gotta go home now."

And she THREW UP all over the floor

It was disgusting
It smelled really, really bad
It smelled like....it smelled like puke
Only puke smells like puke
You can have farts that don't smell like puke
Nothing smells like puke but real puke
The shit was steamin
It was on my carpet
I was there just to have a good time with the lady
I took her out for dinner, and she puts dinner on my carpet
In a steaming heap of puke

So I looked at her, and I said
"You....no good for nuthin
Fuzzy headed, big-eyed
Booger-nosed, blow-me lips
Double-chin, flat chested, hairy back,
Big fat hairy ass "

She had crowbar black pubic hair
And she had cellulitic legs
And she did NOT shave her legs,
So if to touch it pricked, it pricked to touch 'em
To touch it pricked, it pricked to touch 'em,
She had big feet like Bozo the Clown
Oh she weebled but she won't fall down

I said "You get your teary, snotty, droolin,
Fuckin hairy ass outta my home you
Whore-bag pig bitch !"

What would you do ?

I said "Go outside and do that"
I don't need this
I'll go to the Geisha house
Find a real whore

Quit throwing up
Shit stinks
Just stop it

And I said...
Don't tell me no
Tell me yeah, yeah, yeah

And she threw up AGAIN !!



Last edited by Vick at Sep 30 2003, 06:52 PM

hahaah, I remember a conversation you and I had about Kix
awhile back.

You was the first person to point out that the singer has
a lisp.

:-)

Thanks for including Kirk in the lyrics. Made me feel all warm
and fuzzy inside.

Glad to be of service (how far does one have to put their hand to get to the fuzzy and warm part he he)

Kix are from Maryland and I've met Steve Whiteman (Kix/Funny Money singer) many times. Very nice guy, pretty funny and level headed also (I've sat my drink and an ashtray on his head it was so level)

Hope you're feeling better/sunnier Captain Voodoo Kirk Man


Edit for Spelling





Last edited by Vick at Oct 2 2003, 11:05 AM

I am definatly feeling better thank you sir.

As far as how far the hand has to go, well
Ill leave this to your imagination, as Im not
sure anyone really knows for sure.
:agrin:

Out of morbid curiosity, what was going on
while your ashtray and drink was atop Steve's
head? I know he isnt 3'5"

:nyanya:

I'll leave this to your imagination, as I'm not sure anyone really knows for sure.
:P