Aries Mar.21-Apr.19
You are the pioneer type and hold most people
in contempt. You are quick tempered, impatient, and scornful of
advice. You are a pain on the neck.
************************************************** **********************
Taurus Apr.20-May 20
You are practical and persistent. You have a
dogged determination and work like hell. Most people think you
are stubborn and bullheaded. You are a nothing more than a Damn Communist.
************************************************** **********************
Gemini May 21-June 20
You are a quick and intelligent thinker. Most
people like you because you are bisexual. However, you are inclined
to expect too much for too little. In other words, you are cheap bastard.
Geminis are known for committing incest.
************************************************** **********************
Cancer June 21-July 22
You are sympathetic and understanding to other
people's problems. They think you are a sucker. You are always
putting things off; that's why you'll never make anything of
yourself. Most welfare recipients are Cancer people.
************************************************** **********************
Leo July 23-Aug.22
You consider yourself a born leader. Others
think you are just pushy. Most Leos are bullies. You are vain
and dislike honest criticism. Your arrogance is disgusting.
Leo people are thieves.
************************************************** **********************
Virgo Aug.23-Sept.22
You are the logical type and hate disorder.
This nit-picking is sickening to your friends. You are cold and
unemotional and sometimes fall asleep while making love.
Virgos make good bus drivers and pimps.
************************************************** **********************
Libra Sept.23-Oct.21
You are the artistic type and have a difficult
time with reality. If you are a man, you are more than likely
gay. Chances for employment and monetary gain are excellent.
Most Libra women are good prostitutes. All Libras die of
venereal disease.
************************************************** **********************
Scorpio Oct.22-Nov.21
You are shrewd in business and cannot be
trusted. You will achieve the pinnacle of success because of
your total lack of ethics. Most Scorpios are murdered.
************************************************** **********************
Sagittarius Nov.22-Dec.21
You are optimistic and enthusiastic.
You have a reckless tendency to rely on luck, since you lack
talent. The majority of Sagittarians are drunks or dopers.
People laugh at you a great deal.
************************************************** **********************
Capricorn Dec.22-Jan.19
You are conservative and afraid of taking
risks. You don't do much of anything; you are lazy. There has
never been a Capricorn of any importance. Capricorns should avoid
standing still for too long, as they take root and become trees.
************************************************** **********************
Aquarius Jan.20-Feb.18
You have an inventive mind and are inclined to
be progressive. You lie a great deal. On the other hand, you are
inclined to be careless and impractical, causing you to make the
same mistakes over and over again. People think you are stupid.
************************************************** **********************
Pisces Feb.19-Mar.20
You have a vivid imagination and often think
you are being followed by the CIA or FBI. You have minor
influence over your associates, and people resent you for
flaunting your power. You lack confidence and are generally a
coward. Pisces people do terrible things to small animals.
************************************************** **********************



Last edited by -= JR =- at Jan 20 2003, 05:52 PM

damn!!! Got it totally right! :yowsa:

Capricorn (Dec 22 - Jan 20)
You are conservative and afraid of taking risks. You don't do much of anything. You are lazy. There has never been a Capricorn of any importance. Capricorns should avoid standing still for long periods of time as they tend to attract pigeons=
----------------------------------------------

This is ssssooooooo me!

"You are optimistic and enthusiastic. You have a reckless tendency to rely on luck since you lack talent. The majority of Sagittarians are drunk and dope fiends. People laugh at you a great deal because you are always getting fucked."

:rokk:

I'm your buddy you know,Anthony...and that IS you :)

Cancer (June 22 - July 23)
You are sympathetic and understanding to other people's problems. They think you are a sucker. You are always putting things off, and that's why you'll always be on welfare and never worth shit.
**********************************************

I wouldn't say it better myuself!

Great people to hang with!!

Anthony go spam something!

i also do personal readings.
:bjump: :bdance: :bwave: :bjump: :bdance: :bwave:

Cool!!! How much?

Damn, this is better than Gigi's :P

Boohoooooo.....you missed Aries :cryin:

Actually, yer missing 3 signs :P

Aquarius
Pisces
Aries





Last edited by gigi at Jan 20 2003, 05:37 PM

We don't care!!!!

:agrin:

:yowsa:

:nyanya:

They're all talent-less gay whores who will die of veneral disease, so it would have been redundant :P

Now that is just wrong!!!!!!

:inlove:

hahaha
--

You are the logical type and hate disorder. This nitpicking is sickening to your friends. You are cold and unemotional and often fall asleep while fucking. Virgos make excellent bus drivers and pimps.

ok, i fixed it.
:o

heather was pretty near the mark though :)

a pack of cigarettes and a bottle of beer. but i also fuck on the first date.
:inlove:

Ahhhhh a fellow slut :)

I'm a capricorn and suddenly I feel like Al Gore after reading that...

Ha. You are the epitome of a bus driving pimp!

I thought they were laughing WITH us and now I find out they're laughing AT us! :boohoo:

"Chances for employment and monetary gain are excellent.
Most Libra women are good prostitutes."
-------------------------------
LOL, one would seem to follow the other...

KK and I being both Libras...now that's scary :P

Cancer June 21-July 22
You are sympathetic and understanding to other
people's problems. They think you are a sucker. You are always
putting things off; that's why you'll never make anything of
yourself. Most welfare recipients are Cancer people.
------------------------------------------------


Ok, this is not totally accurate.
1. I couldnt care less about other peoples problems
2. I only put some things off.
3. I made myself cum just a little while ago
4. I can make more selling my plasma than on welfare.

Pisces Feb.19-Mar.20
You have a vivid imagination and often think
you are being followed by the CIA or FBI. You have minor
influence over your associates, and people resent you for
flaunting your power. You lack confidence and are generally a
coward. Pisces people do terrible things to small animals.


i was with this until the small animals bit on the end ... what the?!?!?

Oh please, cj, don't expect us to believe the rest of it was dead on and then Boom! it got off the track just like that... ;)

remember teasing your pet with the egg?

but that was funny!!!!

he liked it!!!

honest B)

As a Capricorn.... I guess I'd rather be an Oak than a tumbleweed! :yowsa:

For all you crazy fucks that like to read their horoscopes on a daily basis....
http://real-horoscopes.com/ :agrin:

bpj,

who generates these horocopes and how do they do it? what is the method?

i have always wondered that too. is there some sort of "horoscope wire service" where all newspapers get them everyday?

if so, who is the main horoscope guy who tells people worldwide, whether their life is worth living or not? now thats power!

Aries Mar.21-Apr.19
You are the pioneer type and hold most people
in contempt. You are quick tempered, impatient, and scornful of
advice. You are a pain on the neck.

he he he right on............. :rokk:

Pisces Feb.19-Mar.20
You have a vivid imagination and often think
you are being followed by the CIA or FBI. You have minor
influence over your associates, and people resent you for
flaunting your power. You lack confidence and are generally a
coward. Pisces people do terrible things to small animals.


Yeah that's about right...except I have martians followiing me.

I pay a lady Marjorie Orr (http://www.star4cast.com/index2f.asp....asp&ref=psych)
to provide this daily/monthly content for me.....
I really have no idea where she gets her "insights", but her horoscopes are original content and our members REALLY love her!

Err, you see. Funny how? His job is to amuse you? ;-}}}

So the guy from prohosters is definitely a pisces then.

:agrin: :devil:

Taurus Apr.20-May 20
You are practical and persistent. You have a
dogged determination and work like hell. Most people think you
are stubborn and bullheaded. You are a nothing more than a Damn Communist.
************************************************** **********************

Me. Exactly.

There are programs and scripts available to create them. Depending on what extra information you want to add to it you can get different kinds of reading. If you were to take a look at some of the books available for creating charts for people you would have an idea of the information that can be added.

Yeah, but what is the internal method?

How does one decide that a Virgo will have a "rough day at work" on February 13, 2006?

i think that there is a common interpretation of the planets/stars and thier various positions and alignments and what it all means based on the teachings, instructions and star charts in the ancient and timeless guide: Billy Bobs Big Book of Bullshit.

I can't really answer your question colin, going on a tangent instead

our usage of the information that is gathered, based on alignment of stuff, is skewed ... 'rough day at work' type of astrologers either a) make it up or B) spend hours researching charts, then make it up

the 'style' of interpretation is what makes some astrologers entertaining enough to be famous or successful ...

i've employed several astrologers for purve, we use it more as a sexual inspiration for the reader .... example ...

libra is in for an outdoor romp during january, and you can expect your man will sweep you off your feet with a romantic picnic and a shag in the grass. wear your good underwear every day this month ...

at least if someone bases their life on our info, the worst that can happen is she will run out of good underwear

I can't really answer your question colin, going on a tangent instead

our usage of the information that is gathered, based on alignment of stuff, is skewed ... 'rough day at work' type of astrologers either a) make it up or B) spend hours researching charts, then make it up

the 'style' of interpretation is what makes some astrologers entertaining enough to be famous or successful ...

i've employed several astrologers for purve, we use it more as a sexual inspiration for the reader .... example ...

libra is in for an outdoor romp during january, and you can expect your man will sweep you off your feet with a romantic picnic and a shag in the grass. wear your good underwear every day this month ...

at least if someone bases their life on our info, the worst that can happen is she will run out of good underwear[/b][/quote]
when i see a horoscope that says "you will be hit by a red honda civic while crossing the street today" and it happens, i will reconsider my opinions on astrology.

its interesting how we leave some beliefs like "the world is flat" behind... and keep other beliefs like "Madame Cleo is really not ripping you off"

:yowsa: :yowsa: :yowsa:
wot? is that me? the most peaceful creature ever imaginable???
OMG to the hell with such predictions
:D

I am Batman!

Several years ago the guy that debunks frauds, The Amazing Randy, I think, gave all students in a class their horoscope and asked if it applied to them. They all said yes and they were marveling at how accurate they were.

Ooops - seems Randy gave them all the EXACT same horoscope :okthumb: