Christmas Should Come Once every 5 years

It's just too much hassle, too many pain in the neck things to be responsible for - and if I suggest this - I'm a Scrooge

let's look at the things that come every 4 years (besides voodooman) and see how they rate

The Olympics - every 4 years it's hard to get excited about athletes from around the world competing

If it weren't for the possibility of Nude Women's Curling becoming an Olympic Sport I don't think anyone would care about the Winter Olympics (oh you think you care about the Winter Olympic - ok who won the men's skeleton gold medal? ....... Don't bother to go look it was Jim Shea Jr., a third-generation Olympian)

Leap Year - Leap year is almost cool - if anyone had the sense to have a leap year day party

Presidential Elections - what a huge fuck-a-row that is, and you don't even have to go to the mall for it

and while we're on the subject of the mall - where do all these fucking people come from? (yeah I get the irony of that sentence, they came from fucking)
We're talking wall to wall, tree top tall, whoville looking, god awful dressing, no parking, goofballs - did I say no parking - I think half of them are stuck in a holding patten around the mall (how much Holiday goodwill towards man do you see with 4 cars aiming for the one vacant parking spot)

And all to get the lovely last minute saving a 1.99 scarf for Aunt Martha who in return is going to give you that same damn fruitcake that has passed through 4 generations in your family (hint, it will make a lovely doorstop)


You know the 3 words I fear most ......... (Nope, Not "I Love you")
Some Assembly Required


Just watch your insane relatives this year
See how many arguments Christmas causes ... and in the name of good cheer - how funny is that!!!


and nobody gets this one - supposedly Christmas is for Christians to celebrate the birth of Christ
KNOCK KNOCK KNOCK - wake up call
If you believe the bible Christ was born in October - oh yeah
Christ was 33.5 when he died (you wacky fun loving Christians allow your savior to be nailed to a cross .... whoa - there's a new way to say Thanks - that's why Christians will never rule the world - if there's a God he's pissed and saying you dumb fuckers - I give you a savior and you play pin the guy on the cross with him )
and Christ was to have supposed to have died in April
Now I don't know what calendar you're using but mine says .5 years = 6 months so April + 6months = October

(please don't start with the Christmas was made close to Candlemas to appease the pagans- if you wanted to appease the pagans just throw a body on the yule log)


Let's look a Christmas Day it's self
Now I have a lovely family, nice people and my in-laws are swell too ..........
But, try putting 24 people in 2 rooms that might fit 12 comfortably and have wrapping paper flying, fake happy faces for the fruitcake, kids running and screaming, a dog dancing through, (12 maids a milking) 6 people trying to engage me in conversations I could not care less about, every relative wanted to hold my son (that's right, please pass the germs, I'll have your fucking cold next week, just in time for New Year's thank you very much for that present) and then trying to configure all these people to the dining room

and mix for about 2 hours and you can see why I'm getting drunk... oh yeah - I bring my own fifth of Jim Beam Black - and I look forward to passing out - call me a lush - I call me sane

and then the best part ..... we get to pack up from my parents and go do it all over again at my wife's parents .... only it's even more crowded


Christmas would be good every 5 years .... or maybe not



Last edited by Vick at Nov 26 2002, 09:19 PM

Vick. You make me Proud. :cryin:

Happy Hollow-Daze! Merry Kiss-My-Ass! :awinky:

Christmas is nothing but a huge drain on my pocketbook and a few days of extreme stress ( I always do all my shopping the last few days)

LOL! Many years ago, my Dad bought my son a portable basketball goal (greatest thing in the word if you get the really good, strong one). The guy at the store offered to assemble it for $50. At 3 AM Christmas morning, after he and I had already spent MANY hours putting it together (had to wait for the kid to go to bed), OUTSIDE in 20 degree weather because it was too long to fit in the garage, my Dad was looking for the guy's card - he was going to offer him $500 if he come and finish the assembly :agrin:

I LOVE Christmas - it's always been a time where family that's spread around gets together. And there's nothing like watching a small child get into it :) Christmas lasts from about 11 AM to 2 AM for my family. We take a good 5-6 hours just unwrapping gifts. My Mom and I buy stuff all year and we'll both wrap anything - including the freebies we get at cosmetic counters :awinky:

Though I was a big concerned to get Webquest's Christmas card in the mail LAST WEEK!! :huh:

Peaches - I Love ya but .......
Tell me how much you love Christmas when you're trying to get a parking spot at the mall on December 23, that's after you've been cut off for the first spot you saw ... and that's before you have to push, shove, squeeze and gyrate your way into any stores

and that before you get to stand in line for 3 hours at check out only to find a sub-human checkout person who's only hope of getting a clue is if Acme makes one and Wile E Coyote drops the Clue Anvil on his head


in fact I say Fuck Christmas .... with that big 10" dildo we hear tell of



Last edited by Vick at Nov 26 2002, 01:04 PM

jesus Vick is grumpy! :o

Are you freaking nuts??!! :o I don't GO to the malls! I hardly mall shop all during the year - there's certainly no WAY I hit them at Christmas time. I used to go there Christmas eve and shop - the after Christmas stuff would already be out with the sale prices on them :) but apparently everyone else started figuring that out also. 90% of my purchases are done online and the rest are done at stores through the year :awinky:

And to show how "Anti Mall at Christmastime" I really am, after 19 years, I have ZERO pictures of my child on Santa's lap - tough for him :nyanya:

Not Grumpy - having an espresso fueled Dennis Leary influenced stream of consciousness telling of why Christmas should come every 5 years

that is unless you're calling me Jesus Vick, in which case I'll pass on the cross thing


Psss don't let him know :P

Also remember that even though it's been obscured by commercialism, Christmas IS the celebration of Jesus' birth. If we're only going to celebrate HIS birthday every 5 years, then we should only celebrate OURS every five years (or run the risk of REALLY pissing God off :P ). Even though mine's AT Christmas, it would still suck because I enjoy a free meal every year that my parents buy me :nyanya:

and I ranted about the Jesus thing too

On advice of my lawyers (having been sued 3 times this year) I would like to wish a fiscally successful, personally fulfilling, and medically uncomplicated recognition of the onset of the generally accepted calendar year 2001, but not without due respect for the calendars of choice of other cultures whose contributions to society have helped make Britain great, (not to imply that Britain is necessarily greater than any other country or is the only "Britain" in the western hemisphere,) and without regard to the race, creed, color, age, physical ability, religious faith, or sexual preference of the wishee.

By accepting this greeting, you are accepting these terms. This greeting is subject to clarification or withdrawal. It is freely transferable with no alteration to the original greeting. It implies no promise by the wishers to actually implement any of the wishes for themselves or others, is void where prohibited by law, and is revocable at the sole discretion of the wishers.

This wish is warranted to perform as expected within the usual application of good tidings for a period of one year, or until the issuance of a subsequent holiday greeting, whichever comes first, and warranty is limited to replacement of this wish or issuance of a new wish at the sole discretion of the wishers.

:blink:

i love Christmas even though i'm a yid, i grew up going to my Aunt Jean's house for Christmas, they were Italian and they had the perfect Christmas, fucking Martha Stewart couldn't have done it up any better than her.

I don't know how people in warm weather places care about Christmas, green Christmases suck.

Vick you should convert to Judaism, no more Christmas problems. Tell your kid 'Son, i have some very bad news for you, you're a Jew now. No more Santa Claus for us around here so I don't wanna hear you whining about presents and candy canes. You're a Jew now, act like one and go make your old man rich!'

might have a problem there Mutt
My son's pretty quick minded and he might come back with
Don't I get 8 nights of presents
fucking Happy Hanukkah

Nice greeting Nick - um ..... wonder if I can get away with borrwing that legally correct holiday wish ... guess I have to call Dewey, Cheatum and Howe

Nick - BOLLOCKS!

Hannukah is a very small holiday in Judaism, it's North American Jews who spoil their kids who have turned it into something of the Jewish Christmas. Hannukah gifts to children are supposed to be very small and not expensive, like that spinning tip they call a dreidel.

I think Americans have Thanksgiving wrong, it's way too close to Christmas. People go home for Thanksgiving then leave and it's almost time to go back home again for Christmas. For people who all live in the same general area that's ok but for families spread out more it's stupid.

I hear that quite often.

:nyanya:



Vick,

Whats your take on Thanksgiving???
:P

Thanks Vick

but its only been a year and a half.

:(

2 words .......
Wild Turkey

Actually tomorrow night is one of those national drinking holiday's - Thanksgiving Eve - that and the last Saturday of October - when clocks go back and you get an extra hour of bar time, Also the Saturday before Easter



Last edited by Vick at Nov 26 2002, 03:30 PM

Do I get extra presents for punching those cosmetic counter bitches???? I'm highly allergic to perfumes and hate running the perfume spray gauntlet from those buimbos with bulbs...spritzing and spraying and gahhhhhhhhhh....I swear, one, just one of those scent hookers sprays me this year, I'll snap and start breaking limbs.....

fuck Christmas, fuck it up it's stupid ass!

my in-laws are hillbilies, so Christmas is always sooooooo extra special...gee thanks, a half eaten Snickers bar wrapped in toilet paper, you really shouldn't have gramma Hattie.....really, you shouldn't have....

I'm getting even with these hee haw motherfuckers this year...I'm jerking off in the egg nog.............

Merry Fucking Christmas, you Hillbilly fucks!!!!!!


damn Vick, this venting thing does make one feel better......
now I gotta plan my strategy of buying my kids toys that I like to play with....this year, the kids get a subscription to Maxim!