{"id":26964,"date":"2019-12-13T14:48:18","date_gmt":"2019-12-13T18:48:18","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/oprano.com\/blog\/?p=26964"},"modified":"2020-12-13T15:01:06","modified_gmt":"2020-12-13T19:01:06","slug":"whats-the-big-deal-about-onlyfans","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/oprano.com\/blog\/2019\/12\/whats-the-big-deal-about-onlyfans\/","title":{"rendered":"Whats The Big Deal about OnlyFans"},"content":{"rendered":"
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When the internet is full of free porn, why do people use OnlyFans?<\/p>\n

We spoke to\u00a0Samantha X, a high class escort who has two OnlyFans accounts (a coaching one and a \u201craunchy\u201d one), to get the inside word.<\/p>\n

\u201cIt isn\u2019t hard to find sex these days, but I feel men are looking for something deeper,\u201d Samantha said. \u201cThey aren\u2019t paying thousands of dollars for just sex. With OnlyFans, I think it is a way of men feeling connected to someone without meeting them, the safe connection from home.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cOnlyFans isn\u2019t just about perving on someone\u2019s naked body. My coaching Samantha X Only Fans has more members than my raunchy one. This tells me people want something deeper.\u201d<\/p>\n

According to Samantha, who is in her 40s, to some degree, OnlyFans is similar to her escorting where \u201cthere is the physical side\u201d but \u201cit\u2019s always quick, and my bookings last for hours.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cThe hours aren\u2019t spent being intimate, it is spent talking.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cI charge $1200 an hour and $3300 for a dinner date \u2013 and men pay that to talk!\u201d<\/p><\/blockquote>\n

\u201cSome men open up so much it\u2019s like they haven\u2019t spoken to anyone in years about anything remotely personal. I\u2019ve lost count the number of men I have seen cry. This is why I love men, I love my job and why I call myself an overpaid psychologist.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cThe number one reason men see escorts is because they are starved of emotional connection.\u201d<\/p><\/blockquote>\n

Samantha also told us that it\u2019s not just the clients feeling the love \u2013 many escorts and OnlyFans creators gain a sense of emotional fulfillment too.<\/p>\n

\u201cLet\u2019s not forget, escorts get their needs met too with clients. I am single and the companionship, intimacy, connection and cuddles fulfill my needs too. While escorting gives you freedom and flexilbility, it can also be very lonely and isolating. No one quite understands the job apart from other escorts. My time with my clients is special and I find they support me just as much as I support them.\u201d<\/p>\n

A recent profile by\u00a0The New York Times<\/em>\u00a0also suggests people use OnlyFans for the connection, not just the content.<\/p>\n

\u201cYou can get porn for free,\u201d Dannii Harwood, one of OnlyFans\u2019 top earners, told the\u00a0New York Times<\/em>. \u201cGuys don\u2019t want to pay for that. They want the opportunity to get to know somebody they\u2019ve seen in a magazine or on social media. I\u2019m like their online girlfriend.\u201d<\/p>\n

Think: the thrill of exchanging DMs with a friend of a friend, but with the emotional support of a committed partner\u2026<\/p>\n

\u201cIf a guy is a regular customer, she likely knows his birthday, the names of his children and his pets \u2014 even when to call after a surgical procedure.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cHe may pay her to help him achieve an orgasm, though she is not a prostitute. He may purchase erotic videos from her, though she is not a porn star.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cOn OnlyFans\u2026 subscribers \u2014 mostly male; straight, gay and beyond \u2014 pay models and social media influencers a fee, generally $5 to $20 a month, to view a feed of imagery too racy for Instagram. With that access, subscribers can also direct message and \u2018tip\u2019 to get pictures or videos created on demand, according to their sexual tastes.\u201d<\/p>\n

The site also enables models to produce creative, custom content.<\/p>\n

\u201cShe introduced themed days like Mistress Mondays and Dare Dannii Tuesdays, when men bid to watch her drive around town in her underwear and order a pizza to her home, whereupon she would answer the door naked. She also chatted with fans daily, learning their habits, their sexual predilections and their insecurities.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cMs. Harwood took out her phone and showed evidence of her theory. She brought home $29,420.47 in August, $34,303.24 in September, $52,693.29 in October and $52,760.49 in November.\u201d<\/p>\n

The Economist\u2019s sister magazine\u00a01843<\/a><\/em>\u00a0has also covered this trend, with Porchia Watson, a 32-year-old creator telling\u00a01843<\/em> in January she would make, on average, about $10,000 a month on it (a number which, if lockdown statistics<\/a>\u00a0are anything to go by, could well have gone up since then).<\/p>\n

\u201cAs is the case with most forms of sex work, the dynamic between fans and creators is more than just a sultry exchange.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cPeople think that everyone who follows a girl on OnlyFans is being filthy, when in actual fact it\u2019s just a lot of people who are lonely or unhappy in their marriages or who haven\u2019t got a lot of friends,\u201d she tells\u00a01843<\/em>. \u201cI have quite a few guys who have social anxiety and would love a girlfriend but can\u2019t speak to girls.\u201d<\/p>\n

The mirage of proximity is crucial to OnlyFans\u2019 appeal,\u00a01843<\/em>\u00a0reports, interviewing a a 42-year-old user \u2013 an engineer from Sheffield \u2013 who said, \u201cHardcore porn is easy to come by, but a relationship with a girl is hard to get.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cHe\u2019s been following Brooks since September 2018 and estimates he spends around \u00a3300 a month on her page,\u201d\u00a01843<\/em>\u00a0reports, and \u201cbelieves that Brooks does care for him.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cIf I go quiet and don\u2019t take part in things for a few days, she notices and will start messaging me and asking me how I am.\u201d<\/p>\n

As for their \u201crelationship? \u201cIt\u2019s difficult to define,\u201d he tells\u00a01843<\/em>. \u201cThere are times when it feels like we almost are a couple.\u201d<\/p>\n

The trouble is, however, \u201cthere is no quick-fix for emotional connection,\u201d Samantha X told DMARGE. \u201cI would say talk to your friends which is what women do, but I know from listening to men, they find that hard.\u201d<\/p>\n

This comes in the context of a crisis of \u201cemotional horniness<\/a>,\u201d which Relationship Expert and Advisor to Channel 10\u2019s The Bachelor\u00a0Samantha Jayne<\/a> recently said has hit unprecedented levels this year.<\/p>\n

\u201cEspecially with the mix of social media, coronavirus and more and more people connecting virtually. Not to mention the boost in narcissists out there and people are afraid of getting hurt emotionally.\u201d<\/p><\/blockquote>\n

\u201cMore and more people I speak to struggle to live with the fear of getting hurt so they live in their heads, they worry about what a person will do and their stops an emotional connection which leads to no relationship which then leads to more emotional horniness.\u201d<\/p>\n

So: is OnlyFans a useful tool, or an expensive bandaid solution?<\/p>\n

Jayne said: \u201cWhilst technology has its benefits it has got more people in their heads and people need to be touched. We need physical contact to release the love cuddle hormone \u2018Oxytocin\u2019, to release cortisol from our bodies. This improves mental and physical wellbeing.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cIt\u2019s a total band-aid solution. The reality is you to pay to get a connection\u2026think about that\u2026 how does that feel? Would that person reach out to you and be there when you really needed something.. and paying for connection\u2026Aren\u2019t the best things in life for free?\u201d<\/p><\/blockquote>\n

For her part, Samantha X told Oprano, \u201cMen are more starved emotionally than ever. While we live in an era of technological connection, we are more disconnected than ever. Men are either in unhappy marriages, divorced or looking for love \u2013 and all of which can be incredibly lonely. It\u2019s not easy to start again, it\u2019s not easy to find someone that ticks all the boxes either, and while there are endless dating apps, a lot of men are looking for something deeper.\u201d<\/p>\n

Jayne gave\u00a0 some advice to anyone out there feeling lonely.<\/p>\n

\u201cIf you\u2019re feeling emotionally horny then you can change that, get in touch with feeling good within yourself, meet your needs personally. I don\u2019t mean masturbate like crazy because that\u2019s never going to work and will probably just lead to blisters and emptiness.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cWhat I mean is fill your own emotional void, figure out what is going on. Why are you feeling empty, lonely is there pain that needs to be healed. Stop destructive behaviour such as alcohol, drugs, overeating or excessive porn. Instead get emotionally connected with friends, family and people that make you feel good, learn to trust people and yourself.\u201d<\/p><\/blockquote>\n

\u201cBecome the best version of you, exercise, get outdoors, start reading inspirational books, look for role models that inspire you, people in your life or celebrities, or if you can\u2019t think of anyone write down what you would like your ideal life to be. When you\u2019re feeling better get out and online start meeting new people.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cIf you\u2019re in a relationship and you\u2019re feeling the void then look at when this first happened and rewind to a time when you were happy in the relationship. What did you do differently?\u201d<\/p>\n

This advice would appear to serve many couples well; just this week on\u00a0Oops the Podcast<\/a>, a listener wrote in with a plea for help which shows the weird space between porn and real-life cheating applications like OnlyFans now sit in.<\/p>\n

\u201cWe\u2019ve been together for three years now and we have a healthy relationship,\u201d the listener writes.<\/p>\n

\u201cFrom the beginning, I have made it clear I do not care if he watches porn, but paying for it crosses a line for me.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cI have noticed recently he\u2026 is.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cI had a gut feeling he was paying for\u2026 something. I\u2019m not proud of this but I did look through his bank statement. I found a $9.99 charge and a $7.99 charge. I know it\u2019s from Pornhub Premium and Modelhub. I also know his favorite pornstar is on Modelhub and sells videos for those same prices.<\/p>\n

\u201cHe can spend money on [this] but when we go do something we always pay separately because he talks about how he is tight with money.\u201d<\/p>\n

As the hosts concluded: this is not cool.<\/p>\n<\/div>\n<\/div>\n<\/article>\n

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